Son skips mother's 70th birthday party, after his family told him their annual Halloween event was cancelled, later discovering on social media that they went without him, causing a major family feud: 'No accountability at all'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Nov 4, 2025 3:00 PM EST

Being excluded is not something that becomes easier with age, especially when it is done by your own family. The true group of people who are always meant to be there for you, offering a place to call home. So when this adult son is excluded by his own parents and sister, he is left feeling extremely hurt. Not only because he was being exluded from not just any Sunday barbecue, but a traditional Halloween tradition that his children have also grown to love.

So when he called up his mother and sister days before the planned event, asking for the party details for his immediate family, he was told that the event had been cancelled…With disappointment, he informed his wife and kids that they were going to have to create a new tradition for this year…and so they did. However, two weeks later, he could've sworn he had the post-Halloween spookies and was seeing things, because suddenly his social media page was filled with images from the 'so-not-happening' event, and who managed to swoop their way into the background of almost every. single. picture…?

His whole family. 

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  • He confronts his family, but they just dismiss him with improvised claims! Telling him to let it go…But when he finds out that his father was planning a 70th birthday celebration for his mother (Yes, now equally shocked to learn of his invitation), he swiftly declines, sparking an array of fireworks in the family, and not the pretty kind…Why should every other family member get to decide when or when not an invitation should extend to him…a rule that did not seem to apply to anyone else?

  • "The event posted a picture from the event, and my family was very clearly in the background"
    via gettyimages

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITAH for skipping my moms 70th Birthday Party

    So every year, my family goes to this local Halloween event with my parents, my sisters, their kids, my wife, and our two boys (ages 3 and almost 2). It's kind of a tradition.
    via ThrowRADepende
  • This year, I texted my mom asking if we were going, and she said "No, they changed the format and we're not going." Something about that felt off, so I asked again and she doubled down and said they weren't going.
    via ThrowRADepende
  • I called my older sister and she said their family didn't go because her father in law was in the hospital and it's been a really hard week for their family.
    via ThrowRADepende
  • Two weeks later the event posted a picture from the event and my family was very clearly in the background. So they were there.
    via ThrowRADepende
  • I confronted my mom calmly. I said, "I'm confused, you said it wasn't happening, but I saw pictures from it. I'm not upset about not being invited, I'm hurt that I was lied to." She sent a
    via ThrowRADepende
  • voice message basically saying, "We didn't think you liked that event, so we didn't invite you. We didn't mean to hurt your feelings." No actual apology.
    via ThrowRADepende
  • Cheezburger Image 10571135744
    via perfectwave

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Then I called and had both my parents on speaker. My dad said, "She said sorry and we're done here." When I said she never actually said sorry, he
    via ThrowRADepende
  • accused me of "setting them up" because I "knew" they went. (I didn't.) Then he said, "As far as we're concerned, this is over." No accountability at all.
    via ThrowRADepende
  • Now my dad's throwing my mom a 70th birthday party in a few weeks, and I honestly don't see how I can go. They declared it "done," but it's only done. because they decided to bury it instead of owning it. I'm tired of pretending everything's fine just to keep the peace.
    via ThrowRADepende
  • AITAH for skipping my mom's party? Update: Asked a lot about the why. Via my mom she said she felt I don't like the atmosphere of the club as it has a conservative vibe.
    via ThrowRADepende
  • Would have loved the conversation weeks ago or if I did something offensive to them to know and have the dialogue so we could work through it rather then the lies.
    via ThrowRADepende
  • Juls1016 But why didn't they want your there? What happened last year? You're lacking information. NTA
    via Juls1016
  • ThrowRADepende OP The club has a conservative atmosphere and they didn't think I wanted to go. I do not like the atmosphere there and it's true. But we would have gone because my kids like the event and playing with their cousins. I would have preferred the conversation with them rather than being lied to for weeks.
    via ThrowRADepende
  • Independent-Cake-956 Why did you not go anyway? You didn't need permission from the rest of the family. Do you really want to miss your mums birthday, you're NTA but remember this is a family occasion and your kids are part of that family. I'm not taking their side, my extended family is a s t show but sometimes it's better to be the bigger person.
    via Independent-Cake-956
  • Cheezburger Image 10571136000
    via monkeybusinessimages

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • ThrowRADepende OP I didn't know the event was taking place. It was at a club we are not members of.
    via ThrowRADepende
  • Sassy-Peanut I'm genuinely upset on your behalf, OP. That's so hurtful and the offhand dismissal you got after the fact makes it worse. Your mother especially showed her true colours and enviegled the whole family into gaslighting you. Veto the birthday party and say you have plans and treat your wife and children to a day out instead.
    via Sassy-Peanut
  • TopAd7154 NTA. Dont go. Give no reason except you cant make it. Then when you get the guilt trips, say "I said I couldn't go. This is over." Works both ways.
    via TopAd7154
  • fartonmyballz Send her a framed picture of them at the party you weren't invite to as her Birthday gift.
    via fartonmyba*lz
  • CakePhool NTA. I wouldnt go and when people ask why you didnt go. I just thought I wasnt part of the family after you gaslit me at Halloween.
    via CakePhool
  • Melodic-Inflation407 What's with the "This is over, and we're done talking! "From your dad, it almost sounds threatening. Why won't they talk with you about it? I'm very big on, if you don't tell me what I've done wrong, how can I try to repair it, so that
    via Melodic-Inflation407
  • would drive me crazy, but I'm also big on the keeping my dignity and self respect so I wouldn't go either. I'm sorry kiddo. This socks that they're treating you and your family this way.
    via Melodic-Inflation407
  • TerriDiA I would not go. Seems they've made it clear you and your family are not wanted at family events. I would suggest starting your own family traditions for holidays and family focused events. Invite the people you want to share those times with.
    via TerriDiA
  • sog96 Well, since your father said it was "over" as they were concerned, let them know that apparently they don't want to include your family in events, so you will not be attending anything they host ever again.
    via sog96
  • Traditional_Film_636 NTA. Don't go. I feel this is only part of the problems you have with your family unfortunately.
    via Traditional_Film_636

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family drama images halloween-event cancelled halloween converasational siblings bad parenting askreddit claiming family feud parenting social media family sister social dishonest
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