Single dad charges 19-year-old daughter $150-200 in monthly rent and saves it for her future, dad's girlfriend criticizes him for taking her money: 'I would be happy if she used it for school, or a down payment on a house.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Nov 4, 2025 8:00 PM EST

Their arrangement made sense for them, and he wasn't spending her money.

There are several factors to consider when asking, "Is it okay for parents to charge their kids rent?" Those factors include, but are not limited to, the child's age, the family's financial stability, the child's income, and the amount of time the child has lived rent-free as an adult. I think we can all agree that it's unconscionable to charge an actual child for rent, that is to say, you will evict a kid 17 or younger for not earning their keep. That being said, there are families in such dire financial situations that they need their teenage children to work extensively to keep the lights on and food on the table. That's not pretty, but it's a reality for many families. 

It's also important to consider how much rent is being charged and what is being done with that money. If a parent is charging their child far below market rate (a couple of hundred dollars a month to live in an NYC apartment, for instance), that's less morally dubious than charging them exactly what it would cost to live with roommates or by themselves. Then again, sometimes parents charge more rent because their child has been living off them for too long and they're trying to get them out, which can have varying degrees of success. 

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  • Woman in blue denim jacket
    via Matias Eduardo

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The dad in this story was setting his daughter up for financial success by charging her rent, but his girlfriend didn't get it.

  • Am I wrong for taking my teenage daughter's money?

    Also sorry if it isn't the right subreddit, usually only lurk. I have a daughter that will soon be turning 19.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • She is my only child. Her mother died when she was young, and so I had to raise her alone.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • It was not easy to be honest. We had her young, and did not get to go to college or further our studies, and when her mother died, it was a really really hard time for both of us.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • I wasn't in the best mental state, and keeping a steady job was hard for a time.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • I made sure she would not need for anything, and things got better where I could actually work on a career, but some months were harder than others.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • She always has been hardworking, and from a young age, she babysat neighbour's kids and such.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • For the record, I never accepted her money then, it was hers to use as she pleased.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • At 15, she got her first part-time job, and after some time, she started using some of it to buy things for the house such as food, dish soap, detergent, toilet paper, etc.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • A person in yellow gloves is pouring yellow liquid onto a sponge
    via Kateryna Hliznitsova (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I never asked that of her, she would simply see some things were running low and go to the store and buy them.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • We never went hungry also, she usually bought snacks I wouldn't buy. I told her she did not have to do that, and she should use her money on herself, but she kept at it.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • I felt like a bad father, thinking she was not getting everything she needs, or how my failings made her grow up too fast, but I couldn't force her not to use her money how she wanted.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • Eventually, there were more better months than bad months, and so after a few months, I offered for her to give me the money, and I would use it towards house purchases.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • She didn't mind really, and there was no set amount, the only thing was that I would have to be sure to buy the snacks and food she put on the grocery list.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • Usually it was around 150-200$ per month. The reason I asked that of her was because I felt bad about her using her own money like that, so I placed it all in al separate bank account.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • If I did have some need for it, I would write it down and be sure to put whatever amount I used into the account the next month.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • Now there is about 9,000$ there, and I planned to give it to her when she turned 18.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • But she decided to stay at home, which I am happy about, so I have decided to give it to her if she decides to leave for college, or whenever she decides to move out.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • I would be happy if she used it for school, or a down- payment on a house, in which cases I would add to her fund in whatever capacity I can.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • Now the issue that arose was this month, my daughter offhandedly asked me if I received the transfer she had done.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • To which I replied yes, but my girlfriend was present, and she was quite shocked at me taking 'rent' from my daughter.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • My daughter explained it worked much better for her as renting a whole apartment on her own, or even with roommates, would be much more expensive, and 'anyway, it's normal', is what she said.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • My girlfriend ended up asking her a few questions, but my daughter simply said she used her money as she wanted since she got her first job.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • My girlfriend kept prying, and in the end, my daughter left, saying it was none of her business anyway.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • I never discussed finances with my girlfriend much, and to be honest, she comes from a better financial situation than me, and from what I know, has never experienced any type of financial need.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • She is the type of person to swipe the card, and look at the amount much later when she opens her bank account.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • A person holding a credit card near a credit card reader
    via Oleg Ivanov (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • As she kept pushing for more information on the 'rent', she got upset, saying I was greedy, and taking money from my own child.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • I ended up explaining it to her, and it made her even more furious, saying I took money from my teenage daughter, and took away things she could have done with it for years.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • I felt angry at her comments, and hurt, but after I asked her to leave, I felt guilty.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • I feel like a bad father once again. But I struggled, and when I finally didn't, I did what I thought was the best thing to do.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • But now I feel like I might have been wrong. I have yet to talk about it with my girlfriend, but I want to sit down with her and properly discuss it as it seems an issue that might break our relationship.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • I'm still unsure if what I did was wrong or not, but I know I did not do it out of greed as she said.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • Am I the asshole for 'taking' the money?
    via u/Throwawaysisss

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single dad family drama teenager single parent reddit story parenting girlfriend widower raising teens rent dad family reddit thread daughter Reddit parents Father
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