Family pressures single 50-year-old woman into cooking Thanksgiving dinner for 20 relatives all by herself: 'They’re just dumping it on me because I don’t have kids and they assume I have endless time and money.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Nov 6, 2025 8:00 AM EST

One person cooking a Thanksgiving dinner for 26 people is absolutely asinine.

Hosting the entire family for the holidays is no small task. Even if you're just hosting your nuclear family plus a grandma and grandpa, you still have a whole house to clean, decorate, and a clan of hungry people to cook for. It gets a lot more complicated if you're an adult with brothers and sisters who all have families of their own and all want a plate. Cooking for six people is one thing, but 26? You might as well just order pizzas and forget the whole thing if you have to cook a Thanksgiving dinner for that many people. 

Reasonable families try to share the love. They assign dishes to different family members, who bring the dishes to the function, so that no one person is saddled with cooking six different Thanksgiving side dishes. This works if all of the extended family is willing to do that little extra work to make it happen, but when family members are selfish and can't be bothered to make some mashed potatoes, the job falls onto one or two people.

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  • A person holding a plate with a turkey on it
    via Kateryna Hliznitsova (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The woman in this story wasn't supposed to host Thanksgiving this year. It was her sister's turn, but she said that she was too busy with her kids, so she volunteered her to do it because she's single and doesn't have kids. Whatever happened to taking your turn?

  • Am I overreacting for refusing to host Thanksgiving after my family said I should cook for 20+ people “because I don’t have kids”?

    I'm 50.F Every year, my family rotates who hosts Thanksgiving. This year it was supposed to be my sister's turn, but she told me she's "too busy with the kids" and said it would just make more sense for me to do it since I'm "single and have no children." I said no - not because I don't love my family, but because hosting a full holiday meal for 20+ people is expensive, exhausting, and honestly unfair when we're supposed to take turns.
    via u/Orlitlove
  • Plus, I work full- time and barely get time off around the holidays. They didn't take it well.
    via u/Orlitlove
  • Sad senior woman
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • My mom said I was being "selfish" and that I should be more "understanding of parents." One of my brothers piled on and said, "What do you even have going on that's more important than family?" Now they're all acting like I've ruined Thanksgiving.
    via u/Orlitlove
  • Meanwhile, I feel like they're just dumping on me because I don't have kids and they assume I have endless time and money.
    via u/Orlitlove
  • Am I overreacting for refusing to host?
    via u/Orlitlove
  • A woman wearing a blue shirt and sunglasses
    via Jacob Mitani

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Sexy_Madness not overreacting at all. You could always plan a vaca for that time, because you are child free and can.
    via u/Sexy_Madness
  • Holiday_Trainer_2657 NOR "I'm happy to take my turn like everyone else. If our current method isn't working out, we need to come up with another that works for everyone. I think it's important that everyone puts in an equal effort." Our family moved to pot luck. Food was divided by cost/effort to provide. With some consideration for family size. Host provided little or no food. Hosting set up/clean up was considered their contribution. Maybe your family needs to bring in catered food, rent a hal
    via u/Holiday_Trainer_2657
  • RazzmatazzOk2129 Not overreacting. Tell them to make it a potluck and everyone brings dishes. The host does the turkey and a few other things, and spread out everything else. Our family has done this for several years and it works great. We get all the specialty items that folks do best and the set that doesn't cook brings beverages and other simple things like the Costco pumpkin pie. No reason she cant manage a turkey and can have the kids help clean the house - or have everyone chip in on a cl
    via u/RazzmatazzOk2129
  • pattypph1 NOR. Tell your mom to host
    via u/pattypph1
  • Shane-Dad-underfire I'm not saying you should host and I'm not saying you shouldnt be honestly please consider this, in these trying economic times no one person should be burdened for holiday meals. Your family going forward should all chip in for each shared holiday meal money wise or for ingredients at least. That would ease the burden everytime someone hosts. My kids do this despite me saying I dont mind paying for the meals since I never cook but I do the rotational hosting. My wife is fair
    via u/Shane-Dad-underfire
  • harisitachi You are not overreacting, They just didn't understand your situations and feelings, In future they'll understand
    via u/harisitachi
  • Moemoe5 NOR Hosting any holiday gathering is a choice not a demand
    via u/Moemoe5
  • Detroiter4Ever NOR - this is a ton of work. As a formerly single person who had to host all of the holidays because my brother is handicapped and my mom was too, it's a huge pain to do on your own. I can't even imagine doing it for 20 on my own. My fave holiday was Christmas 2020 during covid. I watched RomComs and ordered Chinese take out. It was only me and perfect. I wish folks would understand that just because someone is single and childless that it doesn't mean they have endless resources,
    via u/Detroiter4Ever
  • beached_not_broken So does that mean that if you do it this year, then the expectation will be that every year you will host because the situation remains the same? Ask them if this is their expectation that for all events you will be expected to host and pay or be labelled selfish? Say you'll host. Then the day before tell them you are hosting not cooking, everyone can bring their own meal from home for a picnic style dinner. That you will be preparing your meal for yourself and everyone can do
    via u/beached_not_broken
  • Sandover5252 With that many people it should be my and the host should not provide anything but the space. 20+ people coming? Kids are the easy part.
    via u/Sandover5252

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