Single mom wants her sister to adopt her baby, but refuses any legal paperwork for proper adoption, so she can drop in or take the child back whenever she feels like it: ‘She got upset, said I’m treating her like a stranger’

Here's a real family special. One sister has a baby, decides parenthood is a lot, and tries to hand her off. The catch is she wants the full babysitting service, but without any of those boring official things like legal adoption or paperwork. Just vibes. Her sister and brother-in-law are up for raising the baby, but only if it's legal, because no one wants to get attached just to have the kid scooped back into the chaos after a six-month mood swing.

Mom isn't about that life. She says paperwork is unnecessary, pretends trust is all you need, and acts shocked when anyone suggests putting things in writing. Suddenly the offer goes from grateful to offended in record time. The would-be adoptive crew gets hit with family guilt, cold shoulders, and the classic move of being accused of acting like strangers for wanting their lives to have a little less legal limbo.

Author image for Etai Eshet Etai Eshet
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  • AITA for refusing to adopt my sister’s daughter because she doesn’t want any legal documents?

    cement ADOPTION PLACEMENT AGENT OVED an agency hư +L place at MEN
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • I (29F) married. My sister (33F) recently gave birth, and she's now a single mom after breaking up with her ex due to her bad attitude.
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  • She came to me asking if I could raise her baby because she doesn't have enough income and has already cut ties with the father of the child.
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  • My husband loves kids, and we were both happy and willing to adopt my niece since she's family.
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  • However, when we talked about the arrangements, my husband said that the adoption needs to be done legally with complete papers, so that in case anything happens, my sister would no longer have parental decision- making power over the child.
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  • Two women spending time together with a baby , showing warmth and family bonding
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • We still want her to be able to visit anytime, since she's the biological mother, but not to the point where she can suddenly take the child back whenever she wants.
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  • I agreed with my husband. But my sister refused the legal process, claiming it was unnecessary and inconvenient, and that there was no need for it since I'm her sister anyway.
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  • I told her politely that we can only adopt the child if she agrees to the legal terms.
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  • She got upset and said I'm treating her like a stranger, not a sister. AITA?
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  • ADOPTION PLACEMENT AGREEMENT between APPROVED agreement between called agency, and ents: and an agency duly authorized to place chi his wife, residing at deration of this agreement made by th er parents, for the
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • lovinglifeatmyage Of course it needs to be done legally. It sounds like she's possibly got it in mind that she could retrieve her daughter at some later date when she's more financially stable, letting you pay for and raise her daughter in the meantime NTAH
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  • OP Just-Gene7622 I appreciate this. I just want to make sure the child is protected and that everything is clear for everyone involved. This isn't about treating her like a stranger it's about being responsible.
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  • mj2503 Your husband is right, and I think your sister is being very entitled and that in it self is a red flag for sure. You want to protect the child and give her stability, and your sister's attitude tells me she couldn't care less.
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  • OP Just-Gene7622 Yeah. I just don't understand why some people get mad, when all you're doing is trying to help.
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  • Illustrious-Mud-6821 NTA. She wants to retain the option to change her mind in the future (likely when the kid is out of diapers) that's why she's balking at it. I'd also guess that she hasn't discussed this with the father and he could also come back into the picture and take her (baby) from you. Save yourself the heartbreak and don't take her unless you get it done legally.
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  • OP Just-Gene7622 Thanks. That makes a lot of sense. I really don't want to risk future complications, especially involving the father. Legal adoption is the only way I'd feel secure.
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  • Ptb1852 And she is treating her own child like a stranger
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  • OP Just-Gene7622 Right
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  • santanapoptarts NTA for wanting to give a child a more stable life. You're 100% correct to have it all legal also. Sounds like she wants a permanent babysitter till the daughter is old enough for her to collect at a later date. This is a human not a car.
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  • OP Just-Gene7622 Nah, that's not gonna happen. If she wants me to babysit, she would be paying me. No excuses.
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  • happy_bottom Plus, baby daddy would probably have to sign off on the adoption also.is he listed on the birth certificate? That could be another big mess.
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  • OP Just-Gene7622 No, he's not listed on the birth certificate. So at least that part isn't an issue, but it could still become a problem later if we don't do things legally.
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  • MildLittlRain She wants OP to to the dirty work for her, dipers and stuff. But that will traumatize the baby once she's older.
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  • Previous_Jury6749 ppl always say "but we're family" like that excuses chaos. nah sis, paper or no deal. u protecting that kid long term.
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  • roadkill4snacks If your niece gets into medical or legal issues, you don't have any legal authority to manage these events. Plus without these documents what would protect you from being charged with kidnapping and jail?
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  • Interesting-Gift9504 fr if she can't trust u enough to sign, then she shouldn't trust u enough to raise the baby either
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  • The truth is, everyone would rather skip the drama, but some people think a family favor means all perks, no rules. In the end, mom storms off, the legal forms stay unsigned, and the baby’s future remains on unpredictable shuffle. Sometimes the only adoption happening is a new respect for contracts.

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