Dating app catastrophe has freshly single 30-year-old woman vowing to never date again, sparks slew of helpful dating advice: ‘MEET FOR COFFEE.’

Author image for Elna McHilderson
Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Nov 6, 2025 10:00 PM EST

All is fair in love and war, right? It truly feels that way sometimes. That the line between love and war is very very thing. Why do some people think dating is just some game to compete and win? That means one person always has to be a loser. The search for love shouldn't have to feel that way. And yet, many enter the dating world with low hopes. 

 

This 30-year-old woman recently came out of a 5+ years long relationship. She decided to try the apps for the first time in her life. She was pleasantly surprised with how many matches she got. She quickly got asked out and, though usually she wouldn't agree so quickly, she decided she at least needed practice if she was actually serious about getting back into dating. So, she went on her first first date in over have a decade. She thought it would be a normal "getting to know each other" situation, and then at the end you both can decide if there is a spark there or not. Unfortunately, she got paired with an entitled and demanding man who slipped out early and left her with the check. 

 

Utterly humiliated and defeated, this woman spat to the love gods and vowed never to go on a first date again. However, others in the dating world have come to her aid online to encourage her to not give up and to ditch the apps. It's not about the quantity of dates, it's the quality.  

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  • "I (30f) went on my first date in 6 years and I am NEVER dating again"

    Dating app catastrophe has freshly single 30-year-old woman vowing to never date again, sparks slew of helpful dating advice: ‘MEET FOR COFFEE.’
    via Unsplash+ (and Aleksey Cherenkevich)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • So I was in a relationship for 5 years. Ended earlier this year and on Friday I was lonely had no plans on Halloween and decided to download hinge (first time user) Was shocked I got 100+ likes the first day and got overwhelmed.
    via alittlebit-dumb
  • I also was shocked a few men already asked me out within two days. So one guy who was pretty attractive and lives in my town (most the others seem to live farther) asked me out and we had a good text convo on Friday and sat so I said yes.
    via alittlebit-dumb
  • Honestly I wouldn't usually say yes so quick but I want to get out there and practice so I had low expectations for the date.
    via alittlebit-dumb
  • He tells me he will pick me up today after work to take me to a restaurant (more on the pricey side his choice), I said I will drive there and this should have been the first red flag he kept insisting on picking me up because he's a true gentleman... I doubled down and he said ok see you there.
    via alittlebit-dumb
  • Well we met up a few hours ago. I was feeling nervous but he looked just like his photos and was very friendly, bit over the top (pushed my chair in) and he was already there and ordered us drinks (I didnt plan to drink but I figured because he already ordered I should just take it, they didn't bring them out until I got there) So we end up talking mostly about what we are looking for and our jobs, he gets vulnerable and says he truly wants love blah blah and he feels something different about m
    via alittlebit-dumb
  • Honestly I wanted it to be true but I have always been a pretty skeptical person?
    via alittlebit-dumb
  • well we are there an hour, he ordered another drink and two appetizers and entree. I just ordered my entree.
    via alittlebit-dumb
  • Dating app catastrophe has freshly single 30-year-old woman vowing to never date again, sparks slew of helpful dating advice: ‘MEET FOR COFFEE.’
    via Unsplash+ (and Justin Snyder Photo)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I denied the second drink but he kept insisting, he ordered it anyways but I didn't drink it so he had to drink it.
    via alittlebit-dumb
  • I get tired when I drink and told him I don't do more than one. He laughed and said he had to use the bathroom since he drank so much.
    via alittlebit-dumb
  • I had a weird feeling at that moment like "oh don't tell me..." well I waited about 5 minutes.
    via alittlebit-dumb
  • Waitress came to check on me. I told her I was on a first date, not gonna lie the tears started flowing a bit because I was so embarrassed that I likely got left with the bill, and I think the guy ordered all this stuff and left me with the bill and told her I only got the entree.
    via alittlebit-dumb
  • I could tell she felt really bad for me and she said she is gonna get her manager.
    via alittlebit-dumb
  • I gave the manager his name and showed his photo to them, they said they will split the check to just include my entree and at this point it's been 15 minutes so it was very clear he left.
    via alittlebit-dumb
  • Just want to say that I'm never in my life going on another first date off an app because what the actual fuck was that
    via alittlebit-dumb
  • Dating app catastrophe has freshly single 30-year-old woman vowing to never date again, sparks slew of helpful dating advice: ‘MEET FOR COFFEE.’
    via Unsplash+ (and Getty Images)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • So what are we learning here? If you leave here with anything, just remember that the first date should never be a dinner date. A coffee date is your best bet because of it's low commitment and cheap expense. Don't give up in love and don't compromise your standards, bestie! You got this. Everyone deserves love. 

  • Pure Common7348 Meet for coffee, MEET FOR COFFEE. Fuck guys and gals like this. Dating in LA sucks and after I got burned a few times I just meet people for coffee. You know what, I meet my lovely wife for coffee, and it's been 6 years married. Don't give up, meet on your own terms and you will find the right partner for you. Sorry this ass clown hurt you, but he didn't and you'll find love and he'll be out there lonely. You win!
    via Pure_Common7348
  • WxaithBrynger I think you just dodged a bullet, his insistence on you drinking and then him running off makes my paranoid brain say he was planning on doing something to you
    via WxaithBrynger
  • Elon Musks_Colon Here is important takeaway from this. You were a BOSS. You held your boundaries, you stood your ground, and you LISTENED to yourself. You deserve a huge pat on the back for handling this so well. His bad behavior is NOT your problem. I wish I knew how to stand up like this at your age. My hat is off to you! Also, Fuck this guy.
    via Elon_Musks_Colon
  • Salsa RedditOnly The moment the MOMENT a man says any version of "you're not like other girls" is the moment you RUN. I'm so sorry this happened to you.
    via SalsaRedditOnly
  • madeleinegnr Don't let this dissuade you. I have met nice men on hinge. Please don't drink something you've not ordered or seen served to you though. There are a lot of dodgy men out there. I also assume any man who is complementing me a lot and trying to get me to drink more is probably just trying to get laid.
    via madeleinegnr
  • Loknar42 Please report this guy to Hinge. If the restaurant gives a statement they might ban him from the site.
    via Loknar42
  • Catsareawesome007 It's a good thing that you didn't drink much. I suspect that he was hoping to get you drunk. Then he got mad that you wouldn't do what he expected, so he left. It was good that you explained things to the manager. Thank goodness that they understood what happened & that they only had you pay for your meal only.
    via Catsareawesome007
  • AggressivePen4991 This scumbag was going to drug you or worse. I wonder if there a site you can post his pic, your experience, and a warning to women? Any man that could do all that and ditch was up to no good. You have good instincts to not go in a car with him and avoid more than 1 drink. Listen, I was 49 in 2021, as an "old guy" I opened myself up to dating and went on 5 reeeeealy bad dates. I about gave up too. Gave it 1 more shot and I'm married to her today. After dinner we went to a nearb
    via AggressivePen4991
  • Chemboy613 I'm so sorry that happened, I really am. I don't know where people get the idea this is acceptable.
    via Chemboy613
  • Practical-Initial738 His persistent on him picking you up was the first red flag. Never ever go on a dinner date on the first meeting. Always meet at a coffee or tea shop. The other red flag is the same ole tired line that you are different than the others. Well you probably were since you drove yourself. Lastly, if alcohol is flowing on the first date, then you are just asking for future problems. I am certain that he wanted you in the sack quickly then he would have ghosted you. Dating Apps ar
    via Practical-Initial738

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