Thanksgiving host puts holiday dinner tradition on hold after family starts treating her home like a free hotel: 'You're ruining Thanksgiving for everyone'

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Nov 7, 2025 3:00 PM EST

Thanksgiving is supposed to be about gratitude and family, but unfortunately, that rarely comes without a fair bit of drama. From psychological warfare conducted through a group chat to lists of banned dinner table topics, the holidays are often filled with more tension than Hallmark movies tend to portray. 

One woman has unfairly become her family's unpaid event planner, hotel manager, and full-service cleaning stuff. When she first volunteered to host the holiday in her home, it felt it felt like the start of a warm family tradition. However, over the years, her family started treating her house like an all-inculsive resort. They ignore all of her boundaries, refuse to help with any of the holiday chores, and yet seem to have endless criticism for her efforts. After years of messes and entitlement, she finally decided to put her foot down by refusing to host. But now her family is acting like she's cancelled the whole holiday.

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  • 01

    AITA for refusing to host Thanksgiving because my family keeps using my house as a free hotel?

    Cheezburger Image 10573019904
    via NickyLloyd from Getty Images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and I feel like I'm at my breaking point. For the past five years, I've hosted at my house,
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    and it's gone from being something I genuinely loved to something I absolutely dread.
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    The main issue isn't the cooking or cleaning it's how my family treats my home like a free hotel.
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    via Karola G from Pexels

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    They don't just come for the meal; they show up days early and act like they're on vacation.
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    My brother brings his kids, who immediately take over the living room with toys, snacks, and whatever mess they can make.
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    My sister doesn't lift a finger, claiming she's "just here to relax," and my mom spends the entire time critiquing everything I do.
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    She even made me iron the tablecloth last year, saying it was "embarrassing" for the family to eat on wrinkles.
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 11
    Last year was the final straw. My brother's kids raided the fridge the morning after Thanksgiving, finishing off the leftover pie I was
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    saving to share with my in-laws that weekend. No one helped clean up after dinner my husband and I spent two hours washing
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    dishes while everyone else lounged in the living room, drinking wine. When I
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    complained later, my sister rolled her eyes and said, "Well, you're the one who wanted to host."
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  • 15
    This year, I decided I wasn't going to do it. Back in September, I told everyone I needed a break and suggested we rotate hosting duties or go out to a restaurant.
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    via gilaxia from Getty Images Signature

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    My mom said I was being selfish and that my house "is the most comfortable." My sister flat-out
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    refused, saying her apartment is "too small," and my brother said he's too busy to host because of his work schedule.
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    Since then, they've been constantly pressuring me to change my mind. My mom even said, "You're ruining
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    Thanksgiving for everyone," and my brother promised to "help more this year," though I've heard that before. Now, with only a day
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    to go, no one has stepped up to host, and the family group chat is a passive-aggressive mess. My mom keeps implying that
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  • 22
    Thanksgiving might not happen at all if I don't agree to host, which makes me feel terrible.
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  • 23
    On one hand, I feel like it's unfair for them to expect me to carry the burden year after year, especially when they treat me
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    and my home with so little respect. On the other hand, the idea of Thanksgiving falling apart because of me is making me
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    second-guess myself. Part of me wonders if I should just suck it up and host to keep the peace, but another part of me feels like I deserve a break too.
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  • 26
    AITA for standing my ground and refusing to host this year?
    via u/WitchyWillow_

Tags

family drama hotel thanksgiving family feud relationships advice entitled family boundaries relationship drama holidays entitled people vacation
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