22-year-old employee refuses to respond to work messages after 8 PM because her boss got angry she didn't respond to his message at 11:40 PM: 'He said I should stay on top of communication if I want to grow.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Nov 19, 2025 8:00 AM EST

She needs to find a new job, because this one has crazy expectations.

If your boss insists that you log off as soon as the workday is done, you should consider yourself one of the lucky ones. Most workplaces do not operate that way, with workers working overtime for hours a day without getting paid for that time. It's expected that if you're working a salaried position, you're not going to be paid for every extra hour you work. If your job is hourly, you should definitely be paid for every additional hour, but that doesn't always happen. It's not a fair system, but it's the one we're often stuck in.

You often don't feel like you have a choice when your boss asks you to work overtime, and that's probably because you usually do not have a choice. If your boss thinks that it's totally acceptable to ask you to do something 20 minutes before midnight and have it ready by the next morning, you're probably not working with a reasonable person. Unreasonable people are very difficult to persuade in the other direction.

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  • A woman sitting at a desk working on a laptop
    via Andrej Lišakov (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The bosses in this story are putting way too much on their 22 year old coworker. She is working extremely hard, but they expect her to be on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and they are not paying her for that time. The nerve of some people!

  • Am I the bad guy for telling my boss I won’t respond to work messages after 8pm anymore, even though I’m the youngest employee?

    1 (22F) work in a small office where everyone else is 30+. Somehow, I've become the default "always available" person. My boss will text me at 10pm like, "Can you send that file?" Or random coworkers will message me asking for help with software issues.
    via u/Queasyhaha
  • I used to respond because I wanted to be seen as reliable. But it's gotten out of hand they'll even text me on weekends.
    via u/Queasyhaha
  • A woman sleeping in a bed
    via Annie Spratt (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Last week my boss messaged me at 11:40pm asking me to "draft a quick proposal before morning." I didn't see it until I woke up. He was annoyed and said I "should stay on top of communication if I want to grow."
    via u/Queasyhaha
  • Job seeker in job interview meeting with manager and interviewer at corporate office
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I snapped and said, "I'm not responding after 8pm anymore unless it's an actual emergency." Now everyone's acting like I broke some sacred rule of being young and "hungry." A coworker
    via u/Queasyhaha
  • even said, "You're lucky to get these responsibilities." I feel guilty but also. I want a life? AITAH?
    via u/Queasyhaha
  • No-Carob4909 NTA Fuck no. Unless you're paid for being on-call 24/7, then fuck them. This "young and hungry” bullshit businesses come up with is just manipulation to get free labour. They are stealing from you. Are you paid to work until 8pm? Because if not, you're still showing these tools that they can take advantage of you and steal your time and money.
    via u/No-Carob4909
  • Apart_Foundation 1702 Exactly! Personally I would be looking for a new job, because the work environment will start to get hostile if it hasn't already. You should also request payment for all the extra work you have done. They are clearly just taking advantage of you. This company doesn't sound like a good place to stay in. ΝΤΑ
    via u/Apart_Foundation1702
  • WorkingInACold Mind Back pay for the extra work is never going to happen and OP should not waste time asking. They should be looking for a new job. Businesses can differ and I've had some where people are treated right, allowed a lot of flexibility during the work day to get personal stuff done,
    via u/WorkingInAColdMind
  • but knew we were running a 24x7 operation and if something broke at 2am we had to deal with it. However, coming in at 11 the next morning so you could sleep right was just fine. Other jobs nitpick on your work day, and do BS like try to implement "we need to track time down to 5min intervals", or complain about "not enough seat time”. Well, screw them. They get exactly 8h, and no more, and I'll be job hunting.
    via u/WorkingInAColdMind
  • Dotcom2024 NTA and in fact Australia has recently passed the out- of-hours law, the "right to disconnect" Having said that, people who want to "get ahead" ignore this and at my workplace, we often have disclaimers in our signatures stating “don't feel pressured to reply out of hours, but this is the time I can catch up on non urgent issues, so reply when you can"
    via u/Dotcom2024
  • Mysterious_Detail_57 Office culture must really suck if you have to pass a law like that
    via u/Mysterious_Detail_57
  • Resident-Quantity166 keep that 8pm rule tight. being the youngest doesn't mean you gotta be the office doormat. keep ur life AND ur sleep.
    via u/Resident-Quantity166
  • Bored-Turnip I don't respond to anything work related 1 second after my shift ends. Fuck that. Do you want me to respond? Then pay me.
    via u/Bored-Turnip
  • ShesSlytherin From an older worker...do NOT respond beyond normal work hours (eg if that is 5pm for you, then no response after 5pm). Also very much later in my career, I do respond at all hours....but I chose what is important to respond to immediately...not what my boss is screaming about. Until you really know the difference, early in your career, you respond during work hours only.
    via u/ShesSlytherin
  • Ok_Childhood_9774 NTAH. If you are paid hourly, you need to be paid for any work you do, so make sure you're submitting those extra hours. But even if you're salaried, you're allowed to set limits. Simply decline to respond to anything outside your normal working hours--and start looking for a job that has a better work/life balance, because I doubt that will be well received even though you're 100% reasonable for doing it.
    via u/Ok_Childhood_9774
  • Quiet-Hamster6509 I can guarantee your wage does not match the level of work they want you to do.
    via u/Quiet-Hamster6509

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terrible coworkers boss workplace-stories employee toxic-workplace bosses work coworkers employees toxic-boss workplace bad bosses toxic-work-environment manager
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