Son moves in with dad even after finding out he is not his biological father, mom demands he get to know his real dad, son refuses: 'He ran away'

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Nov 23, 2025 6:00 PM EST

There are many discoveries in life that change who we are forever, many truths we learn, and ensure we will never be the same people we were before we uncovered them.

Finding out that the man you believed was your father is actually not your 'real' dad is definitely one of them. 

The son in the story below had his life changed forever when he learned that his dad's best friend was his actual biological father. This discovery completely ruined his relationship with his mom, who not only lied to him for his entire life, but also lied to his dad, the man who was his father for the first 13 years of his life. 

Still, this discovery did not break the father and son, and together they left the mom and started rebuilding their family without her. So, when a few years later she came to them with a demand that her son form a relationship with his 'real' dad, both men refused to hear her out.

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  • Family is more that biology, and despite finding out this life-altering detail, the son did not let it change the one relationship that meant the most to him. Keep scrolling to read the rest of the story.

  • Father and son working
    via Jupiterimages

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITAH for being unable to be supportive of my son having a relationship with his biological father?

    My son and I found out that I was not his biological father and my former best friend was when he was 13 years old.
    via Kandeiry
  • He's still my son and I love him so I never abandoned him but my marriage was over at that point and my friendship.
    via Kandeiry
  • My former best friend wanted to have a relationship with my son once the truth came out but my son said no.
    via Kandeiry
  • My ex-wife wanted them to know each other too but he ran away to my house every time she tried to set it up and eventually his wish to live with me was granted.
    via Kandeiry
  • My son sees his mom once every 1-2 months. There's no set amount of time he has to see her but their relationship has not been the same since he found out.
    via Kandeiry
  • The lies my ex told hurt our son a lot. For the last few months my ex has been trying to convince me I need to be supportive of our son having a relationship with his bio father.
    via Kandeiry
  • She said it's best for him if he can have all of us in his life.
    via Kandeiry
  • And that if I love him regardless why does it matter. I told her because I hate the man who knocked her up and the loathing I have for him makes it impossible for me to place nice or actively encourage a relationship between the two.
    via Kandeiry
  • I told her it was shitty enough to have her in my life still for our son's sake but I drew the line at including him in that.
    via Kandeiry
  • I told her I hated them both and they made this bed and they could lie in it.
    via Kandeiry
  • She told me if I really loved our son like I said I would be willing to do anything for him.
    via Kandeiry
  • She told me I'm being selfish and petty and that he won't have a relationship with his bio dad because he knows it would hurt me.
    via Kandeiry
  • Upset Teenage Boy at Home
    via Africa images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I hate that she got under my skin with that. I know that my stance on this is selfish.
    via Kandeiry
  • But I could never play nice or civil with that asshole for my son's sake. As much as I love him it would kl me to be around that guy again.
    via Kandeiry
  • As it is being around my ex occasionally is hard enough. My son is sill a minor btw but he's going to be 18 sooner than later.
    via Kandeiry
  • Low-Support-7090 How did you find out?
    via Low-Support-7090
  • OP Kandeiry I don't want to go into specifics but it was something my wife ended up blurting out.
    via Kandeiry
  • Ok. clearheaded01 Support your son - his mother obviously realises how much she failed him, is seeking redemption by her attampts to draw the other guy into his life.. shes doing it for herself, not for him. Hes in therapy??
    via clearheaded01
  • OP Kandeiry My son is in therapy, yes.
    via Kandeiry
  • Puppet007 NTAH 100% Your son doesn't even want a relationship with his sperm donor, your ex just wanted to hurt you trying to get your son to see another man as "dad", worse it being someone once close to you. You mentioned in your comments that you had another adult child with your wife, has their relationship changed with his "half"-sibling after the truth came out? Has your son been treated differently by them or your extended family?
    via Puppet007
  • OP Kandeiry My son's relationship with his sibling, his grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and other extended family has not changed. He is still 100% ours. The kids bicker as they always did. My parents spoil both grandkids as they always did. They still fight for grandkid sleepovers as often as possible and my son is always included.
    via Kandeiry
  • Jackhert Your son is not ready for it maybe he will become curious because of genetically transferred family history. It's airways your son's choice although it would be good for him to realize what trades he has from his father. You will always be his dad that thought him what life is in your experience. The hating of your bf and ex is understandable specially towards her but does it help you to ponder in the past? For now stand by your son. And look into system aka family setups.
    via Jackhert
  • OP Kandeiry Considering I was best friends with him for 30+ years, there's no getting over that. Same with my ex because we were together a long time and she had a 2 year long affair that I know about and not with just anyone but with my best friend who ended up fathering our son.
    via Kandeiry

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family drama aita kids mother siblings wife relationships parenting husband dad family son parents children Father
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