63-year-old dad decides to “practice” retirement by moving in with daughter for a month, micromanaging her home and routine until she ends his visit cold: ‘After 5 days I told him I didn’t think the month-long trial run was going to work’

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Dec 5, 2025 2:00 PM EST

Many things in life require rehearsing: asking your mirror out on a date a couple of hundred times before actually asking your crush, delivering the work presentation in your car a couple of times before doing it in a meeting room. That kind of thing. 

But this Dad is one of a kind. He decides to rehearse retirement by moving into his adult daughter's life like it is a test environment, not a home. The plan sounds harmless in theory. One month visit, slow down, get a feel for not working. In practice, it takes about two days for the trial run to feel like an unannounced audit. Fridge reorganized, appliances unplugged, furniture critiqued, grocery choices reviewed like expense reports. Even the cat gets evaluated and found lacking.

Retirement, in this man's head, apparently means having free time to micromanage someone else's habits. A quiet apartment becomes a problem. An air purifier running turns into a source of suspicion. Pre-cut vegetables get framed as a financial crime. The morning routine is treated as a broken system in need of optimization. He literally sits and watches his daughter get ready for the day and then offers notes, like a supervisor who followed her home and forgot to clock out. The whole vibe is less visiting parent and more corporate compliance officer on sabbatical.

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  • AITJ for refusing to let my dad “practice retirement” by staying in my guest room for a month while criticizing everything I do?

    A stressed young woman holds her head in frustration while an older man in the background points a TV remote toward the screen. with a quote: "I said sure, as long as it wasn't disruptive. It was disruptive"
    via pixelshot/Eugenio Marongiu

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  • My dad (63M) plans to retire next year. He says he wants to "practice slowing down" and "see what retired life feels like." His idea?
    via UniqueQuestion5270
  • Come stay at my house (29F) for an entire month. I said sure, as long as it wasn't disruptive.
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  • It was disruptive. Within 48 hours he: reorganized my fridge (I couldn't find anything) told me my sofa was "terrible for lumbar support" lectured me for buying pre-cut vegetables ("waste of money") complained my apartment was "too quiet" unplugged my air purifier because he "doesn't trust devices that run all day" told my cat she has "behavioral issues" because she doesn't come when called He also started "observing" my morning routine and giving feedback.
    via UniqueQuestion5270

  • By day five, the daughter does the only sane thing available. She shortens the month to a week, gives him a clear end date, and reclaims her space before the “practice” turns permanent. Dad reacts like he has been betrayed by the concept of boundaries. Out come the lines about being anti-family and ungrateful for his wisdom. Mom’s suggestion that he just needed time to adjust misses the point entirely.

  • Man Watching Tv
    via Eugenio Marongiu

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  • Like he literally sat at the table watching me get ready and said, "Hmm, you need to get up earlier if you want less chaos." After five days I told him I didn't think the month-long trial run was going to work and he needed to head home after the weekend.
    via UniqueQuestion5270
  • He blew up and said I'm "anti-family" and "don't appreciate the wisdom he's trying to share." My mom says I hurt his feelings and I should've "let him adjust." AITJ for cutting his "retirement practice" short?
    via UniqueQuestion5270

  • Nobody needs to adjust to being quietly walked over in their own home. Saying yes to a visit does not equal signing up for a full-time lifestyle critique. Cutting the experiment short is not cruel. It is exactly what retirement should look like for everyone else involved: peaceful, limited, and nowhere near the thermostat.

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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • SubtleSeductressX NTJ. 1st off, this ain't retirement practice for him, it's 'how to be a full-time critic' training. Ur house, ur rules. For real, he can make his own place a retirement ZONE. Everyone needs space, even from family. A bit more respect for ur lifestyle n he'd find his golden years ain't so lonely. And BTW... Cats never come when called, they ain't dogs. Tell him to shush and enjoy his retirement without being a buzzkill.
    via UniqueQuestion5270
  • Cold-Length-8746 Your mom is a genius! She knows how your dad is and I would imagine pretty happy to have pops gone for 30 days!
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  • Cookie Mama28 He can slow down in his own damn house. Why does he have to invade yours?
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  • MaryContrary26 How is staying with you "retirement practice"? I don't get it. Was he planning to move in with you after he retires or something/
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  • SlutskyAndHutch NTA. Sounds like your dad's catchin' up on 3 decades' worth of nagging all in one go. Trial retirement my ass, that's morphed into a full-on critique of your life. It's your home, you gotta set boundaries.
    via UniqueQuestion5270
  • Adelucas I'll take things that didn't happen for 200 please Alex. 2/10. Must do better. You've had so many posts removed for being fake on other sub reddits
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  • kittendollie 13 Tell him he has to leave before he permanently hurts your relationship. He is younger than I am. He needs to volunteer somewhere and stay busy. I don't know how you tolerated him as long as you did. Your mother has probably been enjoying her time away from him. NTJ.
    via UniqueQuestion5270
  • Daisytru Your Mom is probably angry that her one month vacation from your annoying Dad ended too soon! NTJ OP. Your Dad needs to realize that you are an adult and his "wisdom" is not needed!
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  • Lakeview121 No. Why can't he practice at his own house?
    via UniqueQuestion5270
  • dogmama7 NTJ but dad is being one.
    via UniqueQuestion5270

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family drama inheritance brother mother tradition siblings family feud retired sister fiancé retirement Father
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