'He told me sorry and he got hyper focused on a video game': 34-year-old man promises his girlfriend he'd feed her cat while she's away, completely forgets, then starts making excuses and guilt-tripping her

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
Dec 5, 2025 9:00 AM EST

One piece of advice that we will give you, cat owners to cat owners, about getting into new relationships is: listen to your cats. Your cats are the best judges of character when it comes to your future partners. We mean that seriously. It's a sign. If your cat gets along with your new partner, that's a sign. And if your cat doesn't get along with your new partner, that's a sign too. And more than anything, the way your partner treats your cat is the biggest sign of all.

Our cats are like our babies. People may snort when we say that, but it's true. We love them like they are our own. And we expect our partners, whether they love cats or not, to, at the very least, treat our cats with respect. That's the baseline. If you promise to feed our cats when we are away on vacation, we expect you to not forget to do it because you were playing video games, and we cannot believe that is something that actually has to be said. 

Subscribe to our weekly newsletter to start your Caturday with the funniest felines on the internet!

Advertisement
  • 01

    "Boyfriend (34m) forgot about my (28f) cat"

    "I told him the damage had already been done"
    via Unsplash / zhao jun - sifandaily

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My (28f) boyfriend (34m) was supposed to feed my cat today and totally forgot. I'm out of town with family for thanksgiving and when I asked him if he'd seen her today (admittedly around 9:30pm) he told me sorry and he got hyper focused on a video game he's making.
    via maesyl
  • 03
    He fed her yesterday and my friends will go early tomorrow so I'm not too worried about her wellbeing - she grazes and is used to getting a can of wet food a day but her dry food and water fountain should last her more than 24 hours - but I guess I'm just disappointed in him.
    via maesyl
  • 04
    I tried to find other options to watch her as he's not a huge cat guy and my friends were able to for most of the time I'm gone so I only had to ask for his help 2 days and I was really happy that he even sent me a video of him playing with her yesterday, but for him to not have even stopped by to feed her today makes me a little upset.
    via maesyl
  • 05
    I offered to contact a few other people to help before I went out of town and he insisted he could do it but now I'm wishing I hadn't given him this responsibility.
    via maesyl
  • 06
    I'm having kind of a hard time sorting my feelings on the issue and figuring out if I should try to forgive and forget or if it's worth letting him know I feel like he broke my trust and disappointed me?
    via maesyl
  • 07
    Would appreciate any thoughts/advice <3
    via maesyl
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10581820672
    via Unsplash / zhao jun - sifandaily

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Look, this is not simply about forgetting the cat. This is about him forgetting you. It's about forgetting something that you asked for, something that you left him responsible of, something that mattered to you. And it's the fact that, somewhere in your gut, you knew you couldn't trust him with the cat in the first place. This whole thing is one big red flag. 

  • 09
    maesyl OP OP here, I really appreciate everyone's responses. He messaged me around 3:30am just talking about some random stuff and I decided to tell him his actions made me a little sad instead of either ignoring him or pretending things were fine.
    via maesyl
  • 10
    At first he didn't know what I was talking about and then offered to go see her right away. I know that he feels bad and was at his friends house but the 3:30am offer to go over instead of the 9:30pm when he was reminded just kind of made me more upset. I told him it would be okay and my friends will go early this morning. He apologized again and told me he's been in tooth pain and did a bad job planning his day because he was late to his friends house too. Then he told me he's feels awful and l
    via maesyl
  • 11
    This is the first time I've asked him to watch her and I was nervous about it, but he reassured me he would do it and I think the thing that is bothering me the most is that he didn't do what he said he would. If he had texted earlier in the day saying he couldn't make it over I could have gotten someone else to go or even just had peace of mind that she wasn't totally forgotten. He does have adhd and I did acknowledge that I should have reminded him earlier but as many of you pointed out, he's
    via maesyl
  • 12
    I know that he feels really bad and I don't think I really came down on him too hard, I reassured him that I love him and I know mistakes happen but that it just made me sad and I won't be asking him to watch her again. I think this upset him and he told me he didn't know what to say. I ended up apologizing a little and we both went to sleep.
    via maesyl
  • 13
    This isn't relationship ending for me (I hope) and I don't want to start a fight but I do need to communicate to him that he broke my trust and disappointed me without it turning into a pity party for him because he already feels so bad.
    via maesyl
  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10581829376
    via Unsplash / zhao jun - sifandaily

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • In a way, we respect you for trying to work it out. It's all too easy to reach the conclusion that you should break up once you talk to people on the internet, especially when cats are involved. On the other hand, as these people on the internet, we will tell you that as much as we respect your decision to stay, we hope that this has been a warning and that now, you will be keeping your eyes a little more open when it comes to this man. 

  • 15
    TimeCity 1687 this is not really about a cat or missed feeding...this is about trust placed in simple things and how quietly it collapses when attention fails. you did not ask for something grand. you asked for presence in a small, living responsibility. that is why it stings. ...meaning is never in the scale of the task. it is in what a choice reveals about priority, a game absorbed him. a living being slipped his mind. the cat was safe... yes. but the emotional contract was not fully honored.
    via TimeCity1687
  • 16
    OP maesyl You hit it exactly right, thank you. I tried explaining this to him and he kept saying I didn't let him fix it by going to see her the next morning (my friends were already planning to go and I'd rather have them with her). I told him the damage had already been done and I understand that mistakes happen but not everything can just be "fixed". I let him know that I probably won't ask him to watch her again which makes me sad and he felt that was very unfair and like something I was onl
    via maesyl
  • 17
    Cheezburger Image 10581835520
    via Unsplash / zhao jun - sifandaily

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 18
    Business_Mastodon_97 When I was dating my wife she asked me to watch her fish. For three days that fish was the center of my universe. I didn't get distracted, forget, or blow off the responsibility. If your relationship moves along are you ever going to trust him with the cat?
    via Business_Mastodon_97
  • 19
    jablenzie I don't feel like this is an issue of him not being a cat person because you ARE a cat person and he is supposed to be a YOU person. Obviously it matters that your cat wouldn't have perished from hunger or dehydration but that wasn't the care level he agreed to give for you. You wanted him to be there to check on your cat at the VERY least. That slipping his mind is telling as it is a very important thing for you and you would have found someone else to do it had he not assured you he
    via jablenzie
  • 20
    Ganzgly He's 34 years old, he is way to old to have to be reminded of a simple task like caring for a living creature. I highly doubt he simply forgot; he likely thought it wasn't a big deal and deprioritized the task because he didn't want to stop playing his game. We prioritize for what we value. Recommend reflecting on any additional things that you have to "remind" him about and deciding if that's how you want to spend the foreseeable future.
    via Ganzgly
  • 21
    1 percentsamoyedmama Did he offer to immediately go and feed her? That sounds so strange and wrong. He should be paying extra attention to what is really important to you, particularly a living being!! You might want to get a pet camera that can also dispense treats, and an automatic feeder.
    via 1percentsamoyedmama
  • 22
    Aviouse96 My coworker asked me to walk and feed her dog for like 10 days. During those 10 days I got the flu. Horrendous things were coming out of me, but I still drove to her house with a mask and gloves to feed and walk her dog. All he had to do was show up and feed the cat.
    via Aviouse96
  • 23
    cchrissyy The cat will be fine but yeah this reflects poorly on your boyfriend as far as his reliability.
    via cchrissyy
  • 24
    jthechef He decided a living thing was not important to him! Guess what you are not important to him either.
    via jthechef
  • 25
    intolerablefem He's 34 years old. He forgot about feeding an animal because of a video game. I stg the bar is hell.
    via intolerablefem

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

boyfriend pics cat drama cute girlfriend cute cats Cats
Scroll Down For The Next Article