Single mom resents 17-year-old daughter for going on a school trip and leaving her alone for her 60th birthday: 'She hasn’t acknowledged the fact that I will be completely alone for my birthday.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Dec 2, 2025 8:00 AM EST

She needs to grow up and stop relying solely on her daughter for emotional support.

Everyone eventually gets to an age where they don't particularly care about their birthday in the way they used to. That could look like someone not wanting a birthday party after turning 30, or a former "birth month" girl settling for only celebrating her birthday for a weekend. Our relationship to our birthday often has a lot to do with how we feel about aging in general, and the older you get, the less excited you're likely to be about being another year older. 

That being said, there's nothing wrong with wanting to celebrate your birthday, especially milestone birthdays, when you're older than 30. It's always a great thing to gather friends and family to celebrate you! Sometimes, people are not able to come and celebrate your birthday, but that doesn't mean they  love you any less. Maybe your birthday is 2 days after Christmas, and all of your friends are still at home spending time with their parents. Maybe they're on a business trip that weekend that they can't miss. It doesn't mean that they love you any less.

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  • Positive confident beautiful student girl in glasses holding books and looking at camera while standing in corridor at high school break
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The daughter in this story is going on a school trip on her mother's 60th birthday, and her mom is incredibly peeved that her daughters isn't prioritizing making that up to her. She's even considering not giving her extra spending money for the trip because she's so offended. 

  • Am I the bad guy for how I'm treating my daughter (17) who is off tomorrow with school trip for a week, and will miss my 60th birthday?

    My one and only daughter will go off on a school trip tomorrow and I will turn 60 the next day. I have paid for half the trip, well more and family and friends have given gifts of money to her for spending. I'm thinking of not
    via u/DamageNo2024
  • giving her extra money-beyond the bits and pieces I've bought her for the trip as she hasn't acknowledged the fact that I will be completely alone for my birthday.
    via u/DamageNo2024
  • Woman in a black blazer looks upward
    via Kateryna Hliznitsova (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Nothing- no card, no " I'll make it up to you when I get back".... She's in playing Minecraft now and says she has everything organised and prioritised, so I'm heading to bed - sad. I know as the adult I should focus on her but I'm hurting and lonely. Aitah for not Handing her more Money? She never asks in fairness.
    via u/DamageNo2024
  • Rearview of curly haired student girl with pink satchel on back walking over library corridor and looking around other students resting at break
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • idreaminwords YTA. To be clear, you're not obligated to give her any money to spend so long as she has money to buy food while she's away. The problem is your attitude. Are you sure you're 60 and not 6? Do you really care that much about your birthday that you're willing to make your daughter's trip miserable over getting your feelings hurt?
    via u/idreaminwords
  • She's excited and distracted and a teenager. If you want to do something special for your birthday, tell her and do it tonight before she leaves. ETA I just saw that you said she didn't even ask for more money, so this is a non issue and you just want to cry to strangers on the internet or find a way to make a point and make her feel bad. My god what a pity party this is.
    via u/idreaminwords
  • DamageNo2024 OP Thanks for your honesty. I guess I am the asshole.
    via u/DamageNo2024
  • _s1m0n_s3z Oooh! You're playing a rousing game of 'guess-why- I'm-mad?'. How exciting! And having the full pity party experience! But isn't, you know, sixty a little old for that?
    via u/_s1m0n_s3z
  • DamageNo2024 OP Okay, thanks! We're talking about giving extra spending money, though, not punishing her
    via u/DamageNo2024
  • Sea_Advertising_3993 No, you are punishing her in a very immature and passive way. That's EXACTLY what you're doing.
    via u/Sea_Advertising_3993
  • Organic-Meeting734 Make sure she has enough money to eat. She hasn't asked for more. But that's not really the issue. She is 17. She is about to go on a trip. Of course she is self absorbed.
    via u/Organic-Meeting734
  • Your birthday is your issue. If you want to do something for your birthday do it. It is ridiculous to expect a 17 year old to focus on your birthday. Be the parent and don't try to ruin her trip. YTA
    via u/Organic-Meeting734
  • Ok_Afternoon_8779 YTA.I'm 42 with 2 kids and stopped worrying about birthdays years ago? You know why? It's all about my kids, making sure they have the best life! My birthday is the same as any other day I'm just a year older. Your daughter didn't even ask for money why is this an issue? As a parent we want our kids to be safe and happy, could you live with yourself knowing she didn't have money for her trip. She should be able to purchase food, have cab/uber fare etc. Please make sure she enjo
    via u/Ok_Afternoon_8779
  • NeeliSilverleaf YTA. It's a school trip, she didn't schedule it. You mentioned friends and family. Won't they be celebrating with you? Or do you have your heart set on a pity party for one?
    via u/NeeliSilverleaf
  • Karrie 118 Happy Birthday! Time to spoil yourself. Get breakfast delivered. Book a spa day. Get your nails done. Treat yourself to a massage. Go shopping, buy a new book and blanket, build a fort in your comfy chair and get lost in your uninterrupted reading. Go to a museum you've always fancied. Book an experience' - a hot air balloon ride, drive a race car around a track. Meet up with a friend you've been too busy to catch up with. How about a night in a swanky hotel?
    via u/Karrie118
  • There are just a few suggestions to give yourself a wonderful memorable day - and don't forget the glass of champagne to drink n the bath while you listen to your favourite music. Whatever you choose to do, have a fantastic time.
    via u/Karrie118

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school teenagers bad parenting reddit story bad parents parenting raising teens high school reddit thread Reddit mom single mom Parenting Fail Parenting FAILS
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