Coworker demands employee cancel scheduled Christmas vacation so that she can spend leave with her children, escalates to false accusations forcing HR to get involved: '[She] has a meeting with HR on Friday and she will more than likely be fired'

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Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Dec 4, 2025 12:00 PM EST

Look, having children is no easy thing to manage; they take a lot of time, energy, care, and a level of patience that most of us would wear through in 5 minutes.

Life's already difficult enough without having kids; heck, even without children, it takes enough energy to get through the work day and still have enough energy for the basic tasks and chores that come along with adulthood. 

But, still, although there are massive costs, it stands without question that those with parents already receive preferential treatment in the workplace, be it the opportunity to leave early or arrive late, or even having first dibs on holidays that center around the school holidays, which are consequently during major holidays and usually the time that everyone is trying to take leave.

Particularly in areas where the managers themselves have children, they'll be sympathetic to other parents' commitment. This might even afford fellow parents more opportunities and career mobility since management sees them as "grounded." "mature" or "reliable" in ways that they think someone without children possibly couldn't be. Especially where they view the act of having children as a pivotal moment in their own lives that set them on the straight and narrow.

None of this is surprising; everyone's path through life and values are different, but without question, we find ourselves more easily and readily relating to those who have shared similar experiences and are currently in the same stage of life that we are. 

This can all, of course, create issues in the workplace, as can any instance where personal beliefs and circumstance intersect with the professional space. I have particularly seen instances where it all comes to a head over disagreements over leave, where parents attempt to book vacations with their children at the last minute, which is the issue we have seen come to light here.

This coworker thought herself entitled to take leave over Christmas instead of her childless coworker, who had already booked their vacation during that time. The way she approached the situation, her request, and specifically the way that she escalated thereafter by making outrageous allegations meant that not only did the team's manager have to get involved, but that HR also had to get involved, which might see her out of a job in the near future once the fallout concludes.

The coworker in question shared their experience here, with this account of events that detailed the rise of tension in their office.

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  • 01
    A businesswoman on the phone at work holds up a finger to ask her daughter to wait
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+
  • 02

    "AITAH for not canceling my vacation and reporting a coworker for harassment?"

    At my job you can only roll over 250 vacations hours. So, come December 31st if you have over 250 hours, you lose them. They don't pay it out.
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 03
    Every year, my husband and I take several longish (10-11 days) scheduled vacations. Visiting a relative in Florida, Family Reunion wherever it's being hosted, anniversary trip each Fall, etc.
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 04
    I always end up having over 250 hours even though we take those trips. I usually take between the 15th-18th of Dec through the 5th or 6th of Jan off. I have been doing this for nine years (and its approved). We hired "Haley" in October. She has made it clear that her son is her life. That's well and fine. I don't care one way or another.
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 05
    Haley came to my desk on Monday and asked me if I would reconsider my time off in December. When I asked why she said that she had requested some time off to travel with her son for the holidays to see her family but it was denied because I'm off. I just said "No, sorry." and turned back around.
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 06
    That afternoon, Haley sent me an email with an itemized timeline of all the time off I had taken this year (our team has a shared calendar so we can know when the other are out of office) and asked to please reconsider and she CCd our boss. I will be
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 07
    honest this severely pissed me off. I don't butt into anyone else's business ever. I don't care if I see your ass parked on the 50 yard line at the Eagles game the same day you call in sick. (Go birds!). As long as I'm not having to do your work, I do not
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 08
    care. I emailed back immediately saying that I don't appreciate her combing through my vacation time and that my answer was still no and I did not want to discuss the matter further.
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 09
    Yesterday morning, I was called into a meeting my boss "Lisa" and Haley. Lisa jumped right in saying that she saw Haleys email and my response and Haley wanted to meet. I told Haley and Lisa both, I will not be canceling my vacation. Haley starts raising her voice about
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 10
    how my child free traveling should take a back seat to working class mother's and their kids. She claimed that I hate kids from my remarks in the workplace and she felt I was retaliating for the "cause".
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 11
    Both Lisa and I were shocked at the accusation. I am child free by choice. My husband and I have lots of nieces and nephews as well as God children and we are happy. We do not hate kids!
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 12
    Lisa knows this as well. We have worked together in total for about 15 years. I told Haley that she's making a false accusation and this was now an HR matter. I got up and left the meeting even though Lisa asked me to stay.
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 13
    About a half hour later, I got another email from Haley but she was informing me she was asking Lisa to make the call to revoke my PTO and be fair to others on our team. Then, I overheard her telling a team member I'm not letting her take time off because I hate kids and I'm part of the hateful child free community. That was the last straw for me.
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 14
    I attached both of her emails and wrote an email to HR about her harassing and slandering me. I gave the name of the coworker she was talking to and the conversation context as well. I hit send and forwarded it to my boss afterwards so she knew was what going on.
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 15
    About an hour ago, I found out that Haley has a meeting with HR on Friday and she will more than likely be fired. The coworker she complained to told me that he felt I overreacted and that she was just venting about finding child care for the holidays because of
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 16
    work and I should have sat down to talk about it more. A friend who is aslo a colleague (who told me about the meeting) said she thought I let my anger get the best of me and now Haley may lose her job when she's just a stressed out and overly tired mother having a bad day.
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 17
    I will admit I used the buzz words of harassment and slander to get my point across but it had been two days of an asked and answered conversation and I was done with it.
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 18
    So, AITA for reporting her over this incident? P.S.- I am not the only one off. We are a team of five people and two other coworkers are off during the time she wants, but they have children. And the "remarks"? She asked me when
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 19
    she started why I don't want kids and I said I like coming home to clean and quiet house. That's the extent of the "remarks".
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 20
    EDIT: I am in the US (Midwest) and my company is huge on work life balance due to burn out in our field. You're eligible to use your PTO after 30 days and it accures fast. After looking, Haley is eligible for 52 hours of PTO to date.
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 21
    EDIT 2: A lot of questions about my vacation time.lol. During Covid, my company allowed us all to roll over all PTO from 2020-2022 because of the no travel stuff happening. In 2023 they moved the bar from 150 hours (4ish weeks) up to 250 (6ish weeks) roll over because a lot of people complained about losing a lot of time when they didn't travel.
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 22
    You were not required to bank your time. Some people took their and traveled. We took the pandemic seriously and did not travel at all in 2020 to mid 2021 and then we stayed home most of the first half of 2022 as well and started traveling again in Oct of 2022. So I banked my
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 23
    250 and because I'm still accuring, I have a lot of hours built up. We do snow activities that are "free"in the winter so we barely travel and we don't start traveling until May of each year and by that time, I've accured more time. Hope this helps! Lol.
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 24
    A businesswoman with a child on her lap works while seated at her desk
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+
  • 25
    NTA Odd-End-1405 That is not venting, that is creating a hostile work environment. She only started in October?! How much time does she thinks she is entitled to?? A lot of companies don't even allow PTO usage in the first 90 days. Tell the coworker, THEY could have volunteered to cover for the new person.
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 26
    OP ChildFreeForLife1 We have a generous PTO policy. It's not unlimited but I did look and she already has 52 hours accrued and that's great but it's not my problem...
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 27
    InternationalFee9696 NTA. She started it and escalated it. You just matched her energy. Just because you're child free doesn't mean people with children are more entitled to your vacation days. You did not overreact.
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 28
    OP ChildFreeForLife1 Not that she even asked...but we have plans as well. My MIL passed away earlier this year and I am surpsing my husband with a five day tropical getaway for NYE so he isn't so down.
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 29
    CuriousPenguinSocks She doesn't need to know that. She should have been an adult and accepted your no. All of your coworkers who think you overreacted are lying. They know full well they would not allow someone to harass and slander them. I don't think you used buzz words, I think you used the correct words and words matter. You did the right thing. If she is fired, it will be because of her own behavior, not because of you. I'm sorry about your MIL, I hope the family is able to celebrate this y
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 30
    OP ChildFreeForLife1 Thank you for the well wishes. No one else on my team has ever had an issue. I'm not the kind of asshole who throws around the fact that I've been there 15 years. Idc. But I also do things like work holidays I don't care about or travel for like July 4th, Valentines Day (it's big in my office for some reason lol), Labor Day.... I'm not even an overly huge Christmas person. I just like to recharge and start the new year fresh after a long year of working. And the other three
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 31
    NTA. It_girth "She was just venting" yeah well that's what private social media accounts are for, not the workplace. She caused unnecessary hostility in the workplace and deserves to be fired for it. Like boo hoo, the girl who cried wolf and tried to convince other people that you're a child hating monster is being called out for her actions, poor baby.
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 32
    OP ChildFreeForLife1 I literally told a coworker earlier she should have just made a reddit post on the off my chest sub about how mad she was at me and we wouldn't even be here!
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 33
    Cutmeinhalfpleasesir Tell your coworkers to give up their time off for Haley if they think you're overreacting. I'm 100% sure they will change their tunes. If Haley gets fired, it is because of Haley's actions. Do we blame the cop for arresting the murderer or do we blame the murderer for murdering?? It's crazy to think anything else. Sidebar; your boss should have shut that sh*t down way sooner.
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 34
    OP ChildFreeForLife1 The three people who are on my team have chosen to not comment. The two don't want to give up their time off and the other one is just like me and couldn't give a flying fuck about what I'm doing. It's literally people Haley has been nice and made friends with that approached me about being harsh...
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 35
    Sarcastic AzaleaRose I'm baffled that Haley actually thought Lisa would give her OP's time off after OP point blank said "this is an HR matter and I will be escalating this to them". That should have been Haley's sign to shut up about it and just take the L and plan to work hard to have enough time off next year.
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 36
    OP ChildFreeForLife1 Haley told another coworker (she's in the office today having a meltdown about the meeting as we speak ) that she thought it was a figure of speech... Uh no. I meant genuinely. Because I know that women in the child free community can be viewed as hateful and mean towards children. I am anything but that! I just do not have or want my own children and she's giving me a label I've worked hard to not have. Even when I'm not feeling it, I listen to Cheryl's story about her gran
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 37
    upstatestruggler Yeah I've had jobs where you wouldn't even be in the running for time off after two months. It's often based on seniority. I think this girl resents your freedom
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 38
    OP ChildFreeForLife1 That is what another coworker said but I also want to make it clear I've never said a word to anyone about how great it is to be child free.Lol. Of course I would think that, that's why I don't have kids. But I've never once rubbed it in her face or even told people about my life. I'm nice and I tell people where I'm going if they ask what my plans are and I really don't even have to do that!
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 39
    twili_luxe If one no turns into two days of guilt trips and lies to coworkers that is not a stressed mom thats a walking HR case.
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 40
    OP ChildFreeForLife1 One coworker thought I could have been more compassionate and said WHY I was saying no but I don't do that. I'm sorry but these people aren't my actual friends. I have three friends who I talk to outside of work that I am also coworkers now but that's it. I'm not in the business of giving anyone information they can use for whatever reason.
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 41
    No-Shock-2055 NTA. She forgot she was in a professional environment with HR policies and you reminded her. Go have an AWESOME vacation!
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 42
    OP ChildFreeForLife1 Thank you! Headed to Turks and Caicos for the first time ever!!
    via ChildFreeForLife1
  • 43
    OP ChildFreeForLife1 This is exactly it. She had ZERO idea why we are child free. I simply said I don't have children and won't have them. She has no idea if I'm struggling or have struggled with fertility and I told my boss that about an hour ago in a meeting to debrief the situation fully.
    via ChildFreeForLife1

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