Sisters agree to split the cost of an expensive gift for Mom, but the younger sibling bails on her half after taking credit for the gift: 'NEVER AGAIN'

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Dec 9, 2025 6:00 PM EST

Sometimes the perfect gift for a loved one is just too pricey. Gift givers lament when they've thought of the perfect gift out of their price range, finding workarounds to wrap up the ideal gift. For those of us whose love language is gift giving, this can be the most frustrating part of showing we care for our family and friends. 

A pair of sisters had the bright idea to share the financial burden of an enormous gift for their mom. However, things went south after the oldest fronted the cost of their perfect gift, and the youngest bailed on paying her back. 

Reaping the glory of their wonderful gift to Mom, the sisters bickered for months about squaring up, but instead, the more responsible sibling learned she could never trust her sister with finances again. When the high of the gift-giving experience is over, and months afterwards, it's tough to track down the money trail behind the perfect gift. Younger siblings can get away with almost everything, but this older sister made sure to emphasize the 'almost' in that stereotype.

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  • AITAH for refusing to split a gift with my sister after she forgot her part but still wants half???
    via ElwynnRaee7
  • A few months ago, my sister and I decided to buy an expensive birthday gift together for our mom. We agreed to split the cost evenly, and I paid my share right away. At the time, she
    via ElwynnRaee7
  • said she would send me her portion later, which I thought was fine. I went ahead and purchased the gift, making sure everything was perfect and ready for the celebration.
    via ElwynnRaee7
  • The day came, we gave the gift, and everyone loved it. Afterward, I asked her about her share of the payment, but she kept putting it off, saying
    via ElwynnRaee7
  • she would pay when she could. Weeks passed, then months, and she still hadn't contributed anything.
    via ElwynnRaee7
  • Recently, she told me she expects me to cover the full cost because "it's just money" and she doesn't want to worry about it.
    via ElwynnRaee7
  • I reminded her that we had agreed to split it and that I already covered my portion. She insisted that since she didn't pay immediately, I
    via ElwynnRaee7
  • should just pay the rest and she would consider it even later. I explained that I wasn't willing to cover her half, and that it's unfair to expect me to pay for something we both agreed to share.
    via ElwynnRaee7
  • I understand money can be tight sometimes, but this was an agreement we both made months ago. I went out of my way to organize and buy the gift, and now it feels like she
    via ElwynnRaee7
  • wants to take advantage of the situation. I'm standing by the fact that she still owes me her part, and I shouldn't be responsible for paying more than I already did.
    via ElwynnRaee7
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  • SuggestionOdd6657 Expensive lesson. We learned it when family agreed to buy MIL a new sewing machine for Christmas. It was $300 (this was over 20 years ago) and everybody was to pay $50. We bought machine and immediately received payment from two siblings. One sibling I worked with and had to hound her for at least 3 months before she finally paid it. Never received money from two of them. So we paid for half the machine. NEVER AGAIN did we do that!
    via SuggestionOdd6657
  • OP ElwynnRaee7 Wow that sounds so frustrating! It's crazy how some people can just forget or ignore their part of an agreement. Definitely an expensive lesson, and I don't blame you for never doing that again
    via ElwynnRaee7
  • United-Manner20 NTA - never do it again. She pays upfront or she doesn't get a dime.
    via United-Manner2
  • OP Elwynn Raee7 Next time it's pay upfront or we're not doing a split at all
    via ElwynnRaee7
  • big_slom Tell her it's her turn to buy the gift from both of you for the next occasion that you collaborate on a gift for mom
    via big_slom
  • OP Elwynn Raee7 That's actually a good idea. If she wants to call it even, then she can cover the next joint gift herself. At least that way the responsibility is actually balanced instead of me always ending up paying more
    via ElwynnRaee7
  • Responsible_View_285 My sister does this. I will never split anything with her again. It's manipulation. Getting you to buy and pay for the gift and including her name as the giver. She never planned to pay you.
    via Responsible_View_285
  • OP Elwynn Raee7 It really does feel like they want the credit without any of the responsibility
    via ElwynnRaee7
  • GrubbleGrumble Deffo NTA. If she can't pay full right now, the least she can do is to offer to pay in installments.
    via GrubbleGrumble
  • OP Elwynn Raee7 Yeah that's what I was thinking too. Even paying little by little would've been fine, but she didn't even try. That's why it feels unfair
    via ElwynnRaee7
  • Automatic-Ad2113 NTA - but next time wait to buy until you have all the money or tell her that her name won't go on until you get paid. Edit to say this is like the saying about only lending money you're willing to lose. I have a sister who always "forgets" to pay me for things until I remind her.
    via Automatic-Ad2113
  • OP ElwynnRaee7 That makes sense. I'll definitely do that next time
    via ElwynnRaee7
  • texanroses NTA. Tell her that if it is "just money" then she should have zero problems handing over her share. Honestly, I'd cut ties with her until she did. If anyone asks why, just say "she used me for money and refuses to pay me now" with ZERO specifics so it doesn't get back to your mom. Last thing you need is her feeling like a burden, when that is 1000% your sister.
    via texanroses
  • OP ElwynnRaee7 I'm not cutting ties, but I am definitely keeping my distance when it comes to anything involving money from now on
    via ElwynnRaee7
  • Smooth-Exhibit NTA. Consider it an expensive lesson learned about your sister.
    via Smooth-Exhibit
  • Corfiz74 Second lesson learned: If you've been conned into fronting the money, at least don't let anyone sign the gift card unless they have paid they shouldn't get the credit for the gift if they didn't contribute.
    via Corfiz74
  • GalacticCmdr My cousin just turned added her mom to their group gift email when two of her sibs kept dodging their share. People get used to reply to all.
    via GalacticCmdr

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sisters siblings unfair justice served family sister split costs split
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