‘I told him to accept the fact he's not their dad’: Biological father sticks it to his ex-girlfriend's new husband when he tries to reverse their children's custody situation, then gains sole custody

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Dec 10, 2025 2:00 PM EST

Most of the time, it's important to encourage children to give their stepparents a chance. They should always come around to the idea of a second mother or father on their own time, but it's against a child's best interest to teach them that they should write people off before giving them a fair chance. Of course, not everyone deserves the attention of your children, and people are disappointing, so giving a child the freedom to make their own emotional decisions is equally important.

When your kids decide that they would rather live with you instead of your ex and their new spouse, you don't waver. You're their safe space, and if you could amply provide for them, why not?

The biological dad in the next story shares 50/50 custody with his ex-girlfriend, who is now remarried. The new spouse is upset about never spending Father's Day or Christmas with his stepkids, and actively makes a fuss over this. Instead of getting what he wants through his entitled actions, he actually drives the stepchildren further away. Well, would you want a stepdad who throws tantrums? That's reserved for the children. Scroll below to read the full story.

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  • 01
    dad and two female children smiling happily
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    "AITAH for taunting my ex's husband that all his bragging that he's as much my kids dad as I am has been proven wrong by them repeatedly?"

    Currently I (40m) have primary custody of my two children (13 and 15) who I had with my ex-girlfriend (40f).
    via Alxaunuurd
  • 03
    She left me when our 13 year old was 6 months old because, to quote her, she lost all respect for me when I was okay with being the stay at home parent while she worked.
    via Alxaunuurd
  • 04
    She said I was a joke and she wanted a real man who worked to provide for his family in a way that meant she could also work and childcare could be paid without it being a major hit to finances.
    via Alxaunuurd
  • 05
    It wasn't realistic for either of us but it's what she wanted so I found a way to let her work while the kids were cared for by me.
    via Alxaunuurd
  • 06
    The reason I'm bringing this up because I can accept that her view of me most likely shaped her husband's view of me.
    via Alxaunuurd
  • 07
    They got married when the kids were 5 and 3. They were together for around two years prior to that and starting when they got engaged after a year of being together, the husband started to complain about the unfair custody split.
    via Alxaunuurd
  • 08
    Our custody order stated 50-50 physical and legal custody. With Mother's Day for my ex and Father's Day for me.
    via Alxaunuurd
  • 09
    My ex decided a little while before we broke up that she didn't want to do Christmas anymore so I always got the kids for Christmas once we were broken up and that was detailed in the court order.
    via Alxaunuurd
  • 10
    We also had a right of first refusal in our court order that stated if we would be away from the kids for 4+ hours and they would be left with someone else, then we had to ask the other parent if they wanted that time with the kids.
    via Alxaunuurd
  • 11
    My ex's husband (even before he was her husband) complained that Father's Day was no longer mine alone because they now had two dads and he told me he was just as much their dad as me.
    via Alxaunuurd
  • 12
    He stated I needed to either split the day with him or alternate and that a judge wouldn't order it but I should do it because it's the right thing to do.
    via Alxaunuurd
  • 13
    He said the ROFR was bs once he was there because the kids should be allowed to stay with him if my ex was gone for several hours or even a couple of days (she left town frequently after we broke up for her job).
    via Alxaunuurd
  • 14
    The other point was Christmas. He celebrates it. My ex still doesn't. So the kids stayed with me even after he married her and he hated it.
    via Alxaunuurd
  • 15
    man upset at his wife after an argument
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 16
    For years he would complain about it. He would tell me that the kids would see through me destroying their chance to have a second real dad and would pick him in the future.
    via Alxaunuurd
  • 17
    He told me my DNA didn't matter shit in this and he was a TRUE father.
    via Alxaunuurd
  • 18
    I was the sperm donor who put my feelings above theirs. When he would show up to Father's Day events at the kids activities, he would complain that the kids mostly ignored his presence and didn't include him or celebrate with him.
    via Alxaunuurd
  • 19
    He would try to get me to sit it out frequently and four times he was removed from these events.
    via Alxaunuurd
  • 20
    Several times he told me I wasn't a real man or father because I was weak, I was more like a mother, that I should ask myself if I was the kind of man I wanted my kids to look up to because from where he was standing I was no man.
    via Alxaunuurd
  • 21
    This would all happen in person when we showed up to the same events for the kids.
    via Alxaunuurd
  • 22
    We did not see each other at exchanges so this was not an issue there. My ex sided with her husband and cared about nothing else.
    via Alxaunuurd
  • 23
    A year ago my kids told me they wanted to live with me and they didn't want to do 50-50 anymore.
    via Alxaunuurd
  • 24
    I filed for a modification of the custody order and because the kids' voices were heard it was granted.
    via Alxaunuurd
  • 25
    My ex now gets the kids one weekend a month. The rest of the time they're with me.
    via Alxaunuurd
  • 26
    This has pissed her husband off so bad. He attempted to confront me with this the other week and instead of listening to him or moving away, I decided to taunt him back.
    via Alxaunuurd
  • 27
    A part of me wanted to stoop even lower and bring up that he has zero bio kids himself.
    via Alxaunuurd
  • 28
    But instead | brought up how his confidence and insistence that he was as much the kids dad as I am was proven wrong by them repeatedly.
    via Alxaunuurd
  • 29
    I told him to accept the fact he's not their dad and clearly he's not their beloved stepdad either and to leave me the fuck alone.
    via Alxaunuurd
  • 30
    He showed up to a practice my son had last week and he kept bringing it up and saying that's exactly why I'm a crappy dad.
    via Alxaunuurd
  • 31
    I kept moving away from him and he kept following me. It annoyed me. But I know I didn't exactly rise above it all when I said what I did.
    via Alxaunuurd
  • 32
    Which is why I figured I should ask AITAH?
    via Alxaunuurd

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divorce family stepdad children Father
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