10 Biggest Power-Up Fails In Video Games

Chris Snellgrove is an English Professor by day and a pop culture writer by night. You can read his thoughts on celebrities over on Instanthub, thoughts on games over on Gammicks, and thoughts on everything else over on Ebaum's World.

Normally, power-ups in video games are a welcome sight. They help make your character stronger, faster, or otherwise better, and you can make much shorter work of your enemies.

Unless the power-up kills you slowly. Or maybe instantly! Maybe it just sucks so much that you spiral into a full-on “what am I doing with my life” existential crisis. To keep that from happening to you, we’ve rounded up the biggest power-up fails in video games.

Cigarettes (Metal Gear Solid)

https://www.reddit.com/r/metalgearsolid/comments/2s4s4t/how_the_shit_did_solid_snake_smuggle_out_his/

In Metal Gear Solid, the cigarettes have one practical use: they help you see otherwise hidden infrared lasers. But here’s the thing: you can see those lasers much better with the thermal goggles. So the cigarettes just do a crappier job of this, all while draining your health.

Then again, if we kept having to fight giant walking robots in increasingly insane games, we might develop a nicotine habit as well. 

Light Amplification Visor  (Doom)

https://doomwiki.org/wiki/Light_amplification_visor

The original Doom had cool power-ups that could make you invincible or even send you into a “seeing red” berserker rage. And then there’s the Light Amplification Visor that simply…makes the screen brighter. Considering that Doom was meant to be dark in places and that you could always adjust brightness in settings or on your monitor, this power-up is completely redundant.

The Mop (Chrono Trigger)

https://www.flickr.com/photos/marissagoldmark/2517016509

Chrono Trigger is quite possibly the best game of all time, and it had some seriously memorable weapons. But there is one weapon that completely sucks: the mop. It does very little damage, and its only real use is to provide an extra level of challenge to players, all while making you feel bad that you had to jack it from those poor Nus. 

Either that, or maybe it can wipe our brains so we don’t have to remember Chrono Cross?

The Poison Mushroom (Super Mario Bros: The Lost Levels)

https://whatculture.com/gaming/9-trick-video-game-items-you-must-avoid?page=6

When is a power-up not a power-up? In the original Japanese sequel to Super Mario Bros. (later released in America as The Lost Levels), the first mushroom you encounter is a poison mushroom that weakens big Mario and kills small Mario. It’s the game’s way of telling you that this title is much, much less forgiving and much, much meaner than the original game.

Also, proof that even Mario consumes some bad shrooms from time to time.

The Super Ball (Super Mario Land)

https://aminoapps.com/c/mario/page/blog/top-ten-worst-mario-power-ups/D8oi_PuY6jGQENYEWDovq55ndpQMPD

Speaking of Mario, his first Game Boy outing was like a bizarro world version of the original NES game. Instead of fighting Bowser, you fight bosses like giant lions and space aliens. And instead of the proper fireball, you get the “super ball” that will bounce once and then head into the sky.

This could be useful in enclosed areas because the ball can also capture coins. Most of the time, though, you’ll find yourself longing for the original fireball that made it easier to defeat your enemies.

Bee in a Jar (The Legend of Zelda: A Link To the Past)

https://zelda-archive.fandom.com/wiki/Good_Bee

Starting in A Link To the Past, our titular hero can capture bees in jars and release them. If you’re lucky, the bee will attack your enemies. Most of the time, though, it will attack you, or maybe do nothing at all.

It’s a crappy power-up on every level, and it only serves to show future serial killer Link going from capturing mindless bees to capturing sentient fairies. Forget Dark Link…we need to worry about his “dark passenger.”

The Klobb (Goldeneye 007)

https://killscreen.com/previously/articles/heres-why-klobb-goldeneye-was-worst-gun-ever/

In the beloved Goldeneye game on N64, everyone has a favorite weapon. But there is one weapon that is nobody’s favorite: the Klobb. It combines low power with poor accuracy, all while looking like a boxy gray turd that’s been left outside for a few days.

Sure, you can double wield it. But the ability to hold TWO turds doesn’t make the smell any better.

Laser (Contra)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mG5UqmuXiA0

In the original Contra, all weapons pale in comparison to the spread shot. But the crappiest weapon of them all was the Laser, which could travel through multiple enemies but took forever to get across the screen (so much for the speed of light). In other words, God forgive you if you miss your shot.

The only cool thing about the laser is that you can keep hitting the fire button to make it extend from your gun. This gives you a crappy lightsaber, accidentally making Contra the best Star Wars game of the 1980s.

The Top Spin (Mega Man 3)

https://www.neoseeker.com/mega-man-legacy-collection/walkthrough/Top_Man

Mega Man is a series characterized by cool power-ups. Each one made the Blue Bomber a more versatile fighter and gave him an easy way to defeat the right bosses with the right weapons.

And then there was the Top Spin. It only works up close and does an absolutely pitiful amount of damage. As near as we can tell, the real function of this power-up is for Mega Man to convince us he’s a top, and that’s just not happening.

The Giant’s Knife (The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time)

https://zeldauniverse.net/forums/Thread/161111-Master-Sword-vs-Biggoron-Sword/?pageNo=2

What makes a power-up fail the worst? It’s one thing when a crappy-looking weapon ends up being crappy. But it’s so much worse when an awesome-looking weapon breaks your heart.

And that’s what happened with the Giant’s Knife in Ocarina of Time. It sounds so cool, and costs so much, but once you start using it, you’ll discover it can break after a few hits. Sure, you can upgrade it, but it still remains a fragile weapon that can only take a handful of hits before shattering to pieces.

If this makes you sad, don’t worry: you can always play a sad song on your ocarina and remember the good times you had with this awful power-up.