Dad promises 14-year-old son a Japan trip if he maintains a 3.5 GPA and saves $3000 by the time he's 18, reneges on offer after he maintains a 3.7 GPA and saves $5000: 'Let's do a road trip somewhere in the US instead.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Dec 14, 2025 8:00 AM EST

He shouldn't have promised something that he couldn't afford.

If you tell a friend that you only see once a year, "I promise, we're going to go to Japan on vacation someday," that friend has good reason to take that promise with a grain of salt. It's very easy to make empty promises when both parties know that the plans you're talking about probably won't happen.

It's a totally different situation to promise your kid something you don't plan to follow through on. Kids always listen to their parents, and they will almost certainly remember something their dad promised them five years ago. Of course, there are different levels to this. Some kids don't hold onto every word their parent says, and they might not remember all the promises they make and don't keep. But if a parent makes a very specific promise with conditions (if you do this, I promise I'll do this), it's not cool for them to renege on that promise if the conditions are met. It doesn't matter if they made a promise to a kid. Heck, it's probably worse to make a conditional promise to a kid and renege once the conditions are met, and then some. 

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  • The dad in this story promised his son they'd go on a trip to Japan if he saved $ 3,000 by age 18 and maintained a 3.5 GPA. His son achieved that and then some, but his dad wants to change the original promise because flights to Japan are expensive.

  • Mount Fuji Japan
    via David Edelstein

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy for refusing to go on the family Christmas trip after my dad backed out of our agreement?

    When I was 14 my parents wanted me to quit gaming and "focus on real skills." I loved gaming and streaming but my dad especially thought it was a waste of time. He kept pushing me to get a job instead.
    via u/Huge_Marionberry_528
  • We made a deal. If I got a job, kept my grades above a 3.5 GPA, and saved $3000 by the time I turned 18, he'd take me and a friend on a week long trip to Japan for Christmas break senior year. No parents, just me and whoever I wanted, and he'd cover all expenses. Japan is my dream destination and I've wanted to go since I was a kid.
    via u/Huge_Marionberry_528
  • I worked my ass off. Got a job at 15 bussing tables. Worked every summer and most weekends during school. Kept my GPA at 3.7. Saved way more than $3000. I'm 18 now and have almost $5k saved.
    via u/Huge_Marionberry_528
  • Smiling teenager in eyeglasses and casualwear and looking at you while sitting by desk in college library and studying
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Last week my dad sits me down and says we need to talk about the Japan trip. I'm getting excited thinking he wants to start planning. Instead he goes "so I looked at flights and hotels and it's gonna be like $8k total. That's insane. So here's what we're gonna do - you can take that $3000 you saved and we'll do a road trip somewhere in the US instead. Maybe Seattle or something."
    via u/Huge_Marionberry_528
  • Aerial photography of Seattle skyline
    via Thom Milkovic

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I was like what? We had a deal. He said yeah and I kept my end, I'm taking you on a trip. I said that's not what we agreed on. He said we never put it in writing that it specifically had to be Japan and that I should be grateful he's offering anything at all. That most kids don't get trips.
    via u/Huge_Marionberry_528
  • I told him I'm not going. That he completely betrayed me and I spent 4 years working toward this specific thing. He's saying I'm being ungrateful and dramatic. That I should've known an international trip was unrealistic. But like he's the one who suggested Japan in the first place??
    via u/Huge_Marionberry_528
  • Now my whole family is mad at me for "ruining Christmas" because apparently he'd already planned this Seattle trip and got an Airbnb. I told them I'd rather stay home than go on a trip that's basically my dad admitting his word means nothing.
    via u/Huge_Marionberry_528
  • My mom says I'm being stubborn and need to let it go. That I did accomplish something and should be proud. AITJ?
    via u/Huge_Marionberry_528
  • KeeLove08 You are NOT the jerk. Your dad knew when he brought this up that international trips are expensive. He should've been saving the last 4 years just like you. I wouldn't go either. He tricked you and is now trying to make it seem like he's doing you a favor
    via u/KeeLove08
  • Spacer_Spiff NTJ. Him saying "it's not in writing" is a dick move. There was clearly a verbal agreement and he didn't hold up his end. I'd just start calling him by his 1st name, myself. But im petty.
    via u/Spacer_Spiff
  • Naranjita8 NTA, did I misunderstand or he also wants to spend the money OP saved on this trip??? Dad, I think you have already lost your child's trust for life.
    via u/Naranjita8
  • Butterfly No4886 Congratulations! You did a great job. Parents can be assholes. Clearly your dad manipulated you to quit gaming, get good grades and save money. Although you were doing it in anticipation of the promised reward at the end you should still be happy and proud of yourself. You did everything you said you would do. You have the added satisfaction of knowing you also have integrity and that is why you're so upset. You have every right to be upset with your dad and no one has any busin
    via u/ButterflyNo4886
  • bigben7102 NTA he broke his promise you might want to break part of yours but keep your grades up
    via u/bigben7102
  • MyFave Tossable Don't settle for something you didn't even want in the first place. Go on the trip alone if you have to. See Japan with or without him.
    via u/MyFaveTossable
  • NTA LL2JZ He had years to save. He watched you work hard and keep up your end. He isnt a man of his word so he cant be trusted. He did this not you. Do not settle.
    via u/LL2JZ
  • No-Shock-2055 NTA. Your dad completely dropped the ball and now he doesn't want to take accountability for it. If I were you, I'd research Japan and try to go on my own. Look up youth hostels and websites about young budget travelers going to Japan. You can probably get some great information. You shouldn't let your dad's lie stop you from living your dream. Congrats on getting great grades, by the way. You did good!
    via u/No-Shock-2055
  • Fearless-Side-2333 I agree with your mom on one thing you did accomplish something and should be proud. Not stubborn, though. Your dad went back on his word and is Wrong. NTJ.
    via u/Fearless-Side-2333
  • FireBallXLV Stay home. Recognize your Dad has poor morals and is a liar and plan Life accordingly. For example do not believe he will give any help on a wedding. If your Dad has any access to your savings I would go to the bank and see if now that you are 18 if you can withdraw it DO NOT TELL ANYBODY AT ALL THAT YOU ARE DOING THIS! Go to a different bank and set up your own acct.
    via u/FireBallXLV

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Tags

christmas family drama teenagers grades dad Japan raising kids road trip son vacation
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