Parents refuse to let 20-year-old son live on college campus, demanding he'd stay home, son goes behind their back and moves out: ‘[I need] freedom and independence’

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Dec 17, 2025 6:00 PM EST

Do parents still have authority over their children once they turn 18?

The short answer is, well, no.

As soon as someone turns 18, they are, by all means, considered an adult. It may surprise some people to learn that adults don't need paper slips from their parents so that they can miss work, and they don't have to ask their parents' permission to stay out late.

This surely surprises the parents below, who still treat their son as if they have full authority over him. Even though he is a 20-year-old college graduate, his parents still refuse to let him move out of their house. Luckily for him, however, he doesn't need their permission. As long as he can manage by himself financially, there is nothing his parents can do to hold him back, despite their great attempts.

As this son prepares to start University, he is also secretly planning to move out, but doing it behind his parents' backs still feels wrong. Should he feel bad for wanting independence?

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  • Male College Student Carrying Box Moving into Accommodation
    via @monkeybusinessimages

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITA for applying to live on campus without my parents approval?

    I'm (20M) and I recently finished all my courses at community college and I finally plan on transferring to a 4 year uni when the Spring 2026 semester starts.
    via Temporary-West-3879
  • I've always wanted to live on campus for several personal reasons. My parents has always been very strict.
    via Temporary-West-3879
  • I've spent most of my high school years and 2 years at community college at home doing absolutely nothing and feeling left out when others were having the time of their lives.
    via Temporary-West-3879
  • Living on campus seemed like a great way to get some freedom and independence. I've talked to them about moving and living on campus, however their answers are always met with no.
    via Temporary-West-3879
  • I've tried making amends with them, like coming back home for the weekend but however it didn't work.
    via Temporary-West-3879
  • The school sent them e-mails about it, and now they're mad and upset. I know I went behind their backs, but I just felt like this was something I needed to do for myself.
    via Temporary-West-3879
  • AITA for not telling them and setting everything up on my own? One last thing, yes I know about the costs of the dorm and meal plans and I've been well prepared for that.
    via Temporary-West-3879
  • I've been saving up ever since I got my first job in high school and I have a decent financial aid package that would cover most of the tuition and housing.
    via Temporary-West-3879
  • I do plan on paying tuition and housing without my parents support.
    via Temporary-West-3879
  • Empty University College Dorm Room with Bunkbed, Desk and Closet
    via YinYang

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • gameresse You're 20. That's an adult. The time for your parents being "strict" is gone. Happy College life. :) NTA /edit: That aid package: Is that save from your parents?
    via gameresse
  • OP Temporary-West-3879 No it's what the school gives every semester. I've been financially on my own ever since I turned 18.
    via Temporary-West-3879
  • Ordinary-Audience363 NTA You are 20. If you can afford it, then do it. Geez. I went off to college at 17 as a female. Just do it.
    via Ordinary-Audience363
  • Coollogin NTA. It sounds like living on campus is the very best option for you. It's a shame that your university is so close to your parents' home. Being too far away to travel home every weekend would be better.
    via Coollogin
  • nolaz You need to find out why the school is emailing them and put a stop to it. If you are in the US, FERPA should prevent them from contacting your parents without your permission. However, you may need your parents to fill out the FAFSA to get your financial aid even if they aren't paying for anything.
    via nolaz
  • Jewbacca_429 NTA. You are an adult and your parents (strict as they may be) cannot stop you. For many (myself included), the social aspect of college and living away from one's family is an integral part of the experience and one you should not miss out on just because your parents are trying to control you.
    via Jewbacca_429
  • 762_54r NTA you're an adult and you're paying so it's none of their business. Just don't plan on being able to go back home as a plan b
    via 762_54r
  • Timeplace231295 NTA. I needed to get away from my parents too at that age. It's normal.
    via Timeplace231295
  • KatzAKat NTA if you can afford to send yourself to university. It's time for you to spread your wings. Don't go wild just because you not stuck living by strict rules. You're leaving may mean that you won't have a place to go back to as your parents get to make that decision. It may no longer be your home. That may last the rest of your life.
    via KatzAKat
  • PB3Goddess NTA. You are 20, and an adult. If you have worked out the finances of it all with the University between your FA package and your savings, then go for it! Just don't go overboard! You sound like a responsible, determined and focused young adult. I wish you success! Also, go online or 1st thing. tomorrow morning start making calls to make sure your parents have zero access to your school accounts and your bank account(s)!
    via PB3Goddess
  • Justabunnyroller if you can afford it and plan to keep on working, go for it. Nothing AITA about it, you are good and should be moving on with your life and education. You need a strong spine and your cash to go ahead. Do it.
    via Justabunnyroller

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entitled parents kids dorm family moving money college college student parents children moving out
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