32-year-old man walks out of date with 27-year-old woman when he learns she's recording the whole date on her phone: 'You were her next social media story'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Dec 16, 2025 1:00 PM EST

Going on dates means taking a risk. It could be a big risk or a small one, but you don't know that until you get there. At the very least, you might meet them and immediately realize that you're not going to be together. At worst, all manner of horrors could unfold. These are the risks of dating, especially in the internet era. There are things you can do, though, to mitigate that risk. You could avoid dating entirely, though that won't quite work if you're a person with the basic human desire of romantic companionship. Or you could follow a few common safety tips, like giving a friend your location or taking your own car there. But is recording the whole thing reasonable, or overboard? 

One woman decided that her version of safety on a first date would mean audio recording the entire interaction. But when her date found out about this, he was understandably a little miffed. Nobody likes to be recorded without their consent. He wondered what kind of safety this would provide and if he was being taken advantage of.

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  • A man and a woman sit at a table together on a date
    via Unsplash+ (Yunus Tuğ)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Commenters were left wondering why this woman would attempt this kind of behavior and what he should do about it, if anything. Some saw it as an invasion of privacy, while others saw the justification for it. Read on to see what happened in this story and see what you think about it. 

  • Am I in the wrong for quitting a date on the spot?

    I'm 32 and it was my first date with a 27 years old woman. It was dinner at a patio style restaurant and it was going well. I didn't like was she put her phone on the table as soon as she arrived but she wasn't checking on it so whatever.
    via u/Ok_Sprinkles_5245
  • Issue was drinks and appetizers arrived and i moved her phone to give the waitress some space. The recording app was running and i reacted in shock: why the fuck are you recording this? Then stood up, paid and went home. She is now calling me an asshole and abusive over social media. Her main points is that i left her there when we had previously talked about me giving her a ride back home after the date.
    via u/Ok_Sprinkles_5245
  • And also, rude as hell for raising my voice and using swear words. Which ok, i did, but it was a shocking experience and i really think it was a natural reaction. AITAH? Edit 1: to everyone asking, this happened in the greater LA area. I know California is a two party consent state but as a brown latino inmigrant i'd rather not have the police involved, specially not these days.
    via u/Ok_Sprinkles_5245

  • Commenters gave their thoughts on the situation.

    teresajs NTA You aren't her content. Recording your date is a sign that she doesn't fully understand consent. And if she was worried about her safety in a public space, why would she get in a car alone with you?
    via u/teresajs
  • Realistic-Major4888 NTA. There is simply no good reason she could give why she recorded you.
    via u/Realistic-Major4888
  • Kirjavadakedavra NTA. It's so disrespectful to record someone in a private context like that. I'm a girl and I would have react just like you did. You were suppose to drive her back home, but it was before learning she was a psycho. I will feel in danger
    via u/Kirjavadakedavra
  • A man and a woman hold hands at a table where a phone is between them.
    via René Ranisch

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • with somebody recording me without my consent, so of course I will not drive this person anywhere! And she says it's for safety reason (I don't really see how it is supposed to protected her) but it can also be for making fun of you with her friends after the date. Or to blackmail you after you said something sensitive. So avoid this deranged person seems the safest option.
    via u/Kirjavadakedavra
  • musiicalsoulz NTA. I don't get why all these other commenters are hung up on you raising your voice and cursing. I am also a woman, I think her recording your date is bonkers, and that your response was normal and not "abusive" like she's trying to claim.
    via u/musiicalsoulz
  • Individual-Foxlike NTA. Depending on where you live, what she did might have been straightup illegal.
    via u/Individual-Foxlike
  • divwido You were not her date-you were her next social media story.
    via u/divwido
  • ApexMM NTA recording someone in a date without telling them it's a huge violation of privacy and is never OK in any circumstance.
    via u/ApexMM
  • ChardBackground35 NTA I don't understand how recording would increase safety in any way. Seems kinda creepy and more like she wants to share the conversation with her friends possibly.
    via u/ChardBackground35
  • Res1dentScr1be It's honestly wild, the amount of people calling you an AH for raising your voice... out of shock. You were caught off guard, completely valid and within reason. If she feels you should have handled it better, "like an adult" maybe she should have handled herself better and told you she was recording for her "safety".... like an adult.
    via u/Res1dentScr1be
  • If you went off somewhere more private I would totally understand, but an open patio restaurant... really???
    via u/Res1dentScr1be
  • 707808909808707 You paid? I would have split the check
    via u/707808909808707
  • Old_Comparison_7... NTA- Fuck her for breaking an implied trust. You don't owe her shit.
    via u/Old_Comparison_7294
  • DryUniversity3347 You did the right thing. I'd have left her ass too.
    via u/DryUniversity3347
  • TheEventGuru NTA that's not ok. When you're on a first date you share such personal information. Thats unacceptable. I'm sorry that happened to you
    via u/TheEventGuru
  • Expensive-Tomato... NTA I'm a female and if someone is in a public space with other people I find it slightly unusual for her to feel for her safety she needed to record the date not to mention most women would not agree to a ride without feeling somewhat
    via u/Expensive-Tomato5609
  • comfortable with the person so already her story doesn't add up. Then she wants to smear you for it? I think it shows how little common sense she has.. she violated a right of privacy, and in some places what she did is a crime. She should be embarrassed and it's insane
    via u/Expensive-Tomato5609
  • that there are people in here saying maybe she was abused in a previous relationship that doesn't make it ok for her to then violate the privacy of the person she agreed to go on a date with (in a public place which adds to overall safety)
    via u/Expensive-Tomato5609
  • CC-5-6 Safety my butt. She may have been up there trying to exploit you. Why can't people just enjoy themselves anymore. Just have a good. old-fashioned time. She didn't have to go home with you. You didn't have to pick her up. If she was so worried
    via u/CC-5-6
  • about safety then why would she ride with you. Why would she expect to ride with you to her home. But yet she feels unsafe and a food establishment full of other patrons. She makes absolutely no sense and thank goodness you found out before things could've got worse for you.
    via u/CC-5-6
  • Sparklingwine23 NTA she should have thought of her ride home before she started recording. It may have been illegal depending on where you live. If she was really concerned about her safety she could have asked for a photo or asked you to text a friend of hers your
    via u/Sparklingwine23
  • license plate so that friend would have your phone number and plate number. Or simply made other arrangements before taking a ride home from someone she didn't trust. What she did was all kinds of wrong.
    via u/Sparklingwine23
  • Cybermagetx Nta. Might want to check if your state laws are on recording.
    via u/Cybermagetx
  • TheFerndog Absolutely justified. First in many states you need two party consent to record a conversation which means the person must be informed (in this case you) that they are being recorded. She was likely going to create content with you as the target of her rant. You won by not playing the game.
    via u/TheFerndog
  • Amazing_Reality 29... NTA that was weird as F and pretty twisted to record your conversation in the middle of a restaurant. It's bizarre that she felt the need to record you in the middle of a restaurant "for safety" but then expected to get into a car alone with you for a ride
    via u/Amazing_Reality2980
  • home. Yeah, I'm not buying it. Someone that worried about safety would never get into a car with a stranger on a first date. I'm not paranoid enough to record conversations and I would never get in a car with someone I don't know well. You were fine to walk out. You dodged a bullet here my friend.
    via u/Amazing_Reality2980
  • dankiel_y Isn't it illegal to record someone else without consent? The irony of her not caring about your consent tho
    via u/dankiel_y
  • Vyckerz NTA - Completely appropriate reaction. She's likely a content creator. I would run away from her for just that alone even without the recording. The recording just makes it that much more awful. Not sure if your state is one party consent or not but either way recording a date without revealing it is a pretty bad red flag.
    via u/Vyckerz
  • If illegal in your state, I would sue her if she posts any of the audio to her SM. She has ballz for calling you the AH.
    via u/Vyckerz
  • Loose_Employment... Once I left a date that was flirting with the waiter. I'm not kidding the guy was standing next to me for five minutes chatting with my date. I stood up offered him my seat and left.
    via u/Loose_Employment_935
  • TOOnarmy1 NTA. I'm a female and if I discovered that someone was recording our date without consent or even any kind of discussion, the date would be over immediately for me as well. I might have entertained it if the date had explained the reasoning in advance and
    via u/T00narmy1
  • then asked me if it was okay. Like, okay? Weird but whatever. But to do it without any notice? No consent? No. explanation? sorry. SHe's an adult. She can find her own way home. IMO this is a violation of the social contract. You agreed to go on
    via u/T00narmy1
  • a date with her and maybe give her a ride home. But she did something incredibly rude. and the date never really happened (You left before you ate). and you're not obligated to then give her a ride after how she treated you. She deserved to be left there. I wouldn't even respond to follow up texts - like NEVER speak to me again thank you.
    via u/T00narmy1
  • Her excuses about safety don't work. She was going to get in a car with you, so I guess she wasn't THAT concerned. Also, recording you wouldn't prevent you from kidnapping her and destroying her phone so it makes no sense. What this was, I'm SURE, was recording
    via u/T00narmy1
  • you so her and her friends can go over it and pick you apart after the fact? Or just having NO CONCEPT of the idea of consent. Either way you dodged a bullet imo.
    via u/T00narmy1

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dating safety safety first recording online dating women dating
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