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I mean, if I met someone in person and he started talking in LinkedInish, both of us would immediately become the Batman slap meme. And it won't be me getting slapped.
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In a couple of articles a while back, I wrote just about exactly that. about how people on LinkedIn think that if you just use enough corporate mumblo jumbo, it would look and sound impressive, but it just sounds stupid because real jobs are really easy to explain. But on LinkedIn, everyone is hacking growth processes by harnessing full ownership and leveraging empowerment to mentor enterprise sectors into digital transformations.
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And then there’s the emotional manipulation part, the “I got fired, but it turned into the best thing that ever happened to me” genre of posts. The ones that start with heartbreak and end with hashtags like #leadership and #resilience. I’m not saying people shouldn’t share their experiences. But come on, my guy, if your greatest trauma includes an inspirational AI-made graphic and sixteen bullet-point lessons about “mindset,” maybe what you really needed wasn’t a new job. Maybe it was someone to talk to. Human someone to talk to.
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What LinkedIn somehow did, brilliantly and tragically, was merge Social Media’s oversharing with corporate jargon. You’ll read a post that begins with “My dog passed” and somehow ends with “And that’s why I teach my sales team about accountability.” There’s a kind of language alchemy happening there, where personal problems get rebranded as professional development, and heartbreak becomes a KPI. It’s unbelievably sincere and completely insane at the same time.
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So I figured, instead of just complaining, I might as well find documentation of it. Maybe compile, with the help of other fed-up and chronically online curators, a kind of anthropological record of a species we’ll call Linkedinus overexposedus.
A compilation of some of the most gloriously ridiculous, self-congratulatory, algorithm-hungry posts humanity has to offer. Not to mock, well maybe a little, but to show what happens when sincerity, ambition, and buzzwords have an unfortunate fling and spawn content that somehow gets twelve thousand likes.
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