Financially unstable sister demands sibling loan her money to help her start a business, sibling agrees only if they sign a contract, sister refuses: ‘I would never have done the same to you’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jan 5, 2026 3:00 PM EST

What is the biggest thing you have ever asked of a sibling?

Growing up, everyone takes stuff from their siblings, often without even asking. Sisters borrow clothes from each other all the time, and everything in your sibling's room is generally up for grabs if they are not around to see you take it. It's not a big deal; it's just another portrayal of what it is like to have a sibling.

As people grow older, move out of their parents' house, and become independent adults, the notion of borrowing things from their siblings changes quite a bit. One can't really let themselves into their siblings' home and take clothes out of their closet anymore; it doesn't really work once you both have your own separate lives. Still, if you find yourself in need of something you know your sibling can provide, you might turn to them and ask for a favor, and they might supply.

When it comes to borrowing money, however, the sibling dynamic might not be the same as when you were children. Depending on how much money you ask of your sibling, their answer can vary from 'sure', 'it depends', or 'absolutely not'. It usually depends on how close you are in your adulthood, and how much trust has been built between the two of you all these years.

Take the sisters in the story below as an example. They both grew up poor and never really built their relationship on trust. They also have unreliable parents who were always bad with money. The younger sister managed to break that cycle and reach financial stability, while the older one followed her parents' footsteps.

Now, when both sisters are grown adults, the older sister has turned to the younger and asked for a loan to help her start a business. The younger sister knew that her sibling could not really be trusted to pay the money back unprompted, so she agreed to loan the money only if they both signed a contract. However, this only insulted the older sister, who claimed that real sisters trust each other and don't need legal documents to do each other favors.

What would you have done if your sibling asked you for a significant loan? Would you have agreed with no terms, or do you also think a contract might be necessary?

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  • Two Women Working in Office
    via Vlada Karpovich

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITA for asking that my sister signs a contract on a small loan

    For Context, I'm 23F and my sister is 25F. We grew up very poor and finances were always tough.
    via NiceIntention2002
  • We also have had bad experiences with loaning our parents money, I decided 2 years ago that I would not loan any money to them, She on the other hand still does so to this day.
    via NiceIntention2002
  • To make matters worse we have never truly seen eye to eye. In my opinion she has poor conflict resolution skills so I try to avoid getting in to conflicts with her.
    via NiceIntention2002
  • Around 2 years ago, I decided to make changes to my life and paying off debts and living sustainably.
    via NiceIntention2002
  • I have a decent amount of savings and investments. So yes, even though I have some savings.
    via NiceIntention2002
  • I still live at home and live within my means. And I am actively saving up for a house which she is fully aware of.
    via NiceIntention2002
  • Around 5 months ago, she asked to borrow £1000 for a business she was starting. And I agreed, on the premise that she signed a contract agreeing to pay me back.
    via NiceIntention2002
  • I thought that way, at least I'm somewhat covered, and she gets the money - win, win right?
    via NiceIntention2002
  • Wrong. She called me 'selfish' and 'inconsiderate' claiming she would never have done the same to me if I was in those circumstances.
    via NiceIntention2002
  • Here's the thing, Any instance she has 'betrayed' me it's never been about money, it's been about how she makes me feel.
    via NiceIntention2002
  • Undermining my emotions etc. she expects me to 'trust' her when she never actually apologises when she's in the wrong.
    via NiceIntention2002
  • 20 B WL 62 LIF SERVE OF AMERION THE UNITED STATES
    via Karola G

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I eventually just have to get over it! As I stated, money is not a major factor, it's just not something worth fighting for in my opinion.
    via NiceIntention2002
  • Anyway, we haven't really spoken since she tried to get me to feel guilty about writing the contract, no matter how hard I have tried, I can't seem to think I'm in the wrong.
    via NiceIntention2002
  • I'm not perfect, I'm well aware, but she truly thinks that is a legitimate reason to stop speaking to me for several months, as if this is the 'true' reflection of my character.
    via NiceIntention2002
  • Can you share your thoughts?
    via NiceIntention2002
  • baka-tari Many governments offer small business loans. You know what they require? Business plans and loan contracts. She only wanted to go through Bank of Family so she could avoid the paperwork and avoid the payback. NTA
    via baka-tari
  • NTA teresajs If she needs a loan, your sister can apply for one at a bank. It's generally a bad idea to lend. money to friends or family. But if your sister isn't willing to sign a loan document, you definitely shouldn't lend her money.
    via teresajs
  • pretentious_tea NTA - like not at all. Absolutely not at all the asshole. I think more people should honestly go about this the way you have: it would prevent a lot of conflict in the future. £1000 is a lot of money. If this was about like £100 then the situation would be different, but that isn't the case. I think that if she was truly intending to pay you back, this wouldn't this big of an issue.
    via pretentious_tea
  • Representative Tale98 NTA - Shes not asking for a birthday gift, she wants a business loan. She gets mad when you treat it as such. You are not at fault, and it has nothing to do with your character.
    via RepresentativeTale98
  • durtibrizzle Nta. She never planned to pay you back.
    via durtibrizzle
  • TailorLucky5283 Can't she get a personal loan from her bank? That way you don't have to deal with the mess of her not paying. Don't loan money to family and friends. And don't tell anyone that you have the money.
    via TailorLucky5283
  • Mesapholis Your loan, your rules. She can go to a bank if she doesn't agree NTA - start 2026 with responsible finance management and stand by your rule
    via Mesapholis

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family drama aita kids mother siblings help loan family sister business money women children Father
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