'I was the sole provider': 23-year-old woman breaks up with permanently unemployed dog owner, then gives his dog to Humane Society when he fails to pick up his pup for weeks

This woman supported her ex-boyfriend and his dog for 3 years, and finally ended things after failing to see a serious commitment on his end. She set a firm boundary around when he needed to take his dog from her, and with no concrete plan, she gave the dog to a shelter where it would have a chance at finding a stable home.

We are generally generous people, but it only goes so far. We've all been in relationships where you feel like you're giving more than the other person, and in the cycle of a relationship, that's natural. A relationship is a constant shifting of support, communication, and responsibilities. But what is not normal is when all the responsibility falls on you for an extended period of time, like 3 years, for example. The woman in our story was the sole provider for her, her boyfriend, and his dog for the majority of their relationship. He promised to get a job, but couldn't keep one, and took advantage of her kindness in order to live an easy life.

After she broke up with him and asked him to move out (it is her house, after all), she kept his dog while he looked for housing. But, she gave clear boundaries: He must take his dog from her by the end of December. With no clear plan, and not being able to keep the dog with her anymore, she gave his dog to the Humane Society so he could hopefully find a stable home.

Did she do the right thing? That's up to you. We understand where she's coming from, and it does seem like she had the dog's best interests at heart. You'll have to scroll down to see for yourself, though!

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  • 01

    [Am I wrong] for setting firm boundaries around my ex and his dog?

    Woman choosing dog at animal shelter including 'None of those promises had been kept'
    via Zbynek Pospisil

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I am 23F and recently ended a nearly three year relationship with my boyfriend, 24M. When I finally ended the relationship, I told him I wanted him to be out of my home by the time I returned later that day and he packed his belongings and left on his own accord. I have since been criticized for being too harsh, especially regarding his dog and unresolved financial issues, so I am looking for outside perspective on whether my boundaries were unreasonable.
    via zoeeregan
  • 03
    When we first started dating, we had already known each other for some time and had an established level of trust. At the beginning of our relationship, he had just lost a job he had held for about four years. Over time, he moved in with me, and we agreed that once he found and retained a job, we would split expenses evenly.
    via zoeeregan
  • 04
    That never happened. From that point forward, I took over all weekly expenses, including rent, utilities, groceries, transportation, and general household costs. I continued covering everything partly because I needed to keep my household stable and partly because I wanted to make it as easy
    via zoeeregan

  • Being the sole provider is a lot of stress. It's even more stressful when the expectation is that the other person will eventually contribute half, but never does. If we had been in this woman's shoes, we would not have been nearly as patient. But that's what love does! It stops us from seeing some troubling signs by looking at the potential of something or purposefully overlooking.

  • 05
    as possible for him to focus on finding work. Over the entire relationship, he held three jobs total, lasting a combined six or seven months. The rest of the time, I was the sole provider.
    via zoeeregan
  • 06
    JOB SEARCH FIND A DREAM JOB 10. H 4 U . . . O •
    via simpson33

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    Over the course of nearly three years, I feel I consistently went well beyond my fair share to maintain stability in the relationship. Despite repeated efforts to be patient, supportive, and reduce pressure so he could contribute, the responsibility never became balanced.
    via zoeeregan
  • 08
    About a year ago, I ended the relationship after discovering he had been messaging other women online trying to meet up. We were broken up from November 2024 to February 2025. During that time, I felt more independent and less
    via zoeeregan
  • 09
    stressed. We eventually reconciled after he promised to apply for jobs consistently and contribute financially. As we approached nearly a year since reconciling, none of those promises had been kept.
    via zoeeregan
  • 10
    Over the past month, as it became clear that nearly a year had passed without follow through, I clearly communicated that I needed to see effort, even something as basic as applying for jobs online, because I was struggling financially and emotionally. Nothing changed, and I became burned out.
    via zoeeregan
  • 11
    During our relationship, he brought his dog to live with me but was always clear that the dog was his, not mine. I accepted the dog into my home with the understanding that he was present and responsible for the dog's care. When I ended the relationship and he moved out, the dog remained with me temporarily. I agreed to care for the dog until the food ran out or until the new year to avoid putting the dog in a bad situation.
    via zoeeregan
  • 12
    Communication around the dog has been inconsistent. He does not currently have stable housing and has asked for extensions without providing concrete dates. The dog escaped once by opening a sliding glass door, which required me to kennel him for safety. I work very
    via zoeeregan
  • 13
    Beagle in a dog crate
    via Viktoriya Telminova

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 14
    long hours, typically 56 to 70 hours a week, and during those hours the dog must remain kenneled. He is not used to a kennel and cries for long periods, disturbing my sleep and my neighbors. I do not believe this is a fair or sustainable quality of life for him, and it made it clear that keeping the dog here long term is not in his best interest.
    via zoeeregan

  • Dogs cannot be crated for that long - that's not a good quality of life at all. The dog deserves a family that will love it, support it, and give it stability. Unfortunately, the doggo doesn't have that with her or the ex-boyfriend.

  • 15
    I told him clearly that I cannot have the dog in my home past December 31 and asked for a plan by December 29. If he or a family member cannot pick the dog up, I said I would move forward with rehoming the dog or surrendering him to a shelter so he can be somewhere stable.
    via zoeeregan
  • 16
    There are also unresolved financial and property issues. During our relationship, he lost a phone his parents had paid for at a friend's birthday party I attended. I purchased a replacement phone on my own plan because I felt responsible and wanted to help.
    via zoeeregan
  • 17
    The phone and service are in my name and cannot be recovered even if the phone is returned. When he moved out, he took a television that belonged to him and a Puffco device that belonged to me, which he claims was a gift. I offered clear options to resolve this fairly: either
    via zoeeregan
  • 18
    return the Puffco and television if I continue paying for the phone and service, or pay the remaining phone balance of $524.97 and take over the account so it is no longer in my name. I asked for a response so we could close this out, but I have not received one.
    via zoeeregan
  • 19
    There is also an unpaid ticket he received while driving a car in my name, which remains on my record. That car was later repossessed because it was the only bill I could delay without immediate consequences in order to keep my housing and utilities current.
    via zoeeregan
  • 20
    At this point, I feel that I set clear boundaries based on my capacity, finances, and responsibility to my household. I am trying to resolve these issues in a way that avoids further instability or harm, even though that means making difficult decisions.
    via zoeeregan
  • 21
    TLDR: My ex left his dog with me after we broke up, ignored multiple deadlines to pick him up, the dog escaped three times causing me to miss work, caused property damage, had untreated medical issues, and would have been forced to live outdoors if picked up. After weeks of notice and no plan, I surrendered the dog to the Humane Society for care and placement.
    via zoeeregan
  • 22
    New-Lifeguard-9494 He sounds like a cheating loser mooch, so NTA for breaking up with him. But, I would check your local laws regarding the dog and financial questions, so you can avoid breaking any laws. I will say, depending on where you live, you
    via New-Lifeguard-9494
  • 23
    may have broken laws by kicking him out the day you asked him to leave. In a lot of places, you have to go through a legal eviction process in order to remove someone from their home (because it was his home too, even though it was your place).
    via New-Lifeguard-9494
  • 24
    Usual-Canary-7764 You got yourself a hobosexual. Go to Small claims court for any property or money of yours he is holding. If Dec. 29th comes without him picking up the dog, Jan 1st proceed with rehoming or surrendering the dog. Cut the leech out of your life completely. You will realise so much peace by doing that. NTA
    via Usual-Canary-7764

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