Jobless man pretends to be employed for a year straight, girlfriend weighs breakup after putting the pieces together: 'I don't actually care if he works right now, but I feel like he's hiding the truth'

Career lulls: they happen to the best of us. Sometimes the job market dries up, projects fall through, or people just need time to regroup before moving on. But if those lulls turn into secrecy, dodged questions, and outright lies, they can start to wear away at trust in a relationship. As the foundation for a healthy partnership, once trust starts to degrade, things can really start to spiral to a place where there is no turning back.

One woman thought their boyfriend had a steady job with long hours until she started noticing a ton of little red flags. Morning texts came later, his location showed he was at home instead of work, and his vague "project" with coworkers dragged on for months with no real progress. Then he got a new phone, stopped sharing his location, and grew defensive whenever she suggested he find something more stable. She says she doesn't mind supporting herself financially, but she's deeply unsettled by the feeling that he's lying or keeping secrets. 

I'm no stranger to unemployment; it really isn't fun for anyone. But being open and honest with your partner about where you are in your finances and career turns an individual struggle into a shared challenge to overcome together. Teamwork and transparency can make the hard seasons survivable while secrecy only makes the gap between two people grow wider. 

Author image for Ely Bulnes Ely Bulnes
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