'He’s your boyfriend by choice, they aren’t assigned by the government or anything': Boyfriend leaves groceries on the floor after girlfriend asks him to put them away, leaving the kitchen a mess

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jan 13, 2026 10:00 PM EST

Incompetence is never attractive. 

Odds are, we've all been on the internet long enough to have heard the phrase "weaponized incompetence." If you haven't, it means pretending to be worse at a certain chore/activity than you actually are, or playing up your natural incompetence at something in order to shirk responsibility. If you take out the trash the wrong way every time, then they might stop asking you to do it. Boom, you're off the hook, and you've lost respect from everyone close to you. Was it worth it?

Sometimes, though, I think those who weaponize their incompetence don't even know that they're doing it. They're just being the spoiled babies that they have been taught to be their whole lives, and everyone who gets caught in their path ends up worse for it. You've probably met this kind of person sometime in your life. Maybe you've lived with them. They don't thrive under responsibility, and they put it all on you. If you ask them to do something, you know they're not going to do it right, and they'll probably make you feel bad in the process. It's not a good thing to live with this kind of person. You should avoid it at all costs. But sometimes they're in your family, and you can't avoid them. Or they're your university-assigned roommate. Or they're grandfathered in to your living situation somehow. You can't help it. But you can help dating this kind of person. After all, you're not legally required to date anyone. 

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  • You get to choose your partner. Ideally, you choose each other. They have qualities that complement your life, and they bring value to your day-to-day. They don't have to be the cleanest, tidiest person in the world. Maybe you are, and that's what you know you add to the relationship. But it's a different thing to have different living styles than it is to completely disrespect one another. But that's what happened in this story, where a woman found herself in a relationship with someone who greatly weaponized his incompetence. That, or he just wasn't thinking at all. 

  • I asked my bf to put groceries away while I ran one last errand and I came back to this.

    Cheezburger Image 10596228864
    via u/arandomperson519
  • He left all the plastic bags on the floor and on the counter and didn't take care of any pantry items. All this in the midst of throwing a fit because I asked for his help when he wanted to sleep.
    via u/arandomperson519

  • Commenters wondered why she would tolerate this behavior.

    PurpleSunCraze He's your boyfriend by choice, they aren't assigned by the government or anything.
    via u/PurpleSunCraze
  • DogAlienInvisibl... I'm always curious, how do these types of men survive outside relationships? Do they just... Not clean?
    via u/DogAlienInvisibleMan
  • Takeabreath_an... This relationship is optional
    via u/Takeabreath_andgo
  • GoblinNgGlizzy So you inherited someone's poorly parented child.
    via u/GoblinNgGlizzy
  • kristin0912 Send him back to his moms
    via u/kristin0912
  • A woman sits on the edge of the bed, unhappy. Her boyfriend is out of focus behind her.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Luckypenny4683 Girl, this is why we don't date children
    via u/Luckypenny4683
  • UranuslsThePlace The fuck is wrong with all these grown ass men in relatioships who act like shitty spoiled brats. unbelievable.
    via u/UranuslsThePlace
  • lipenick you don't have a bf you have a teenager son
    via u/lipenick
  • Classic_Ad3987 Your boyfriend is working on his malicious incompetence. He will continue to half arse tasks untill you stop asking him and just do them yourself. Laundry, dishes, making doctor/dentist appointments, car maintenance, paying the
    via u/Classic_Ad3987
  • bills, planning vacations/eating out, etc will all end up on you. He is trying to train you to do all the mental tasks in this relationship so he can just sit/sleep as life happens around him without him having to lift a finger.
    via u/Classic_Ad3987
  • You have to decide if this is how you want to live for the next 80 years. If not, leave now before he baby traps you. He won't change, he will only love bomb you to convince you to take his lazy arse back then will push all the mental tasks back to you plus try to baby trap you, again.
    via u/Classic_Ad3987
  • Yes, you love him. Yes, he loves that you do all the mommy tasks for him. He won't change, you can't change him. You are his mommygirlfriend and someday he wants you to be his mommywife.
    via u/Classic_Ad3987
  • Jaxsso He's doing you a favor indicating he is not ready for responsibility of being with other people, or even by himself. Imagine telling him you're pregnant and his reaction to having to be an actual responsible parent, and all the sleep he would be missing then. You may never see him again.
    via u/Jaxsso
  • Carylynn0609 If you had a kitty they'd be having a blast! But I guess. you're too busy raising this fella to take on another living being.
    via u/Carylynn0609
  • jaywinner Unless you disturbed him at a time where he's expected to be sleeping, that's a really shitty thing to do.
    via u/jaywinner
  • Mieche78 I gave my husband one final warning last night over exactly this kind of shit. I've asked him gently, I've told him firmly, and I've cried begging. I absolutely blew up at him when he made me out to be the villain of his life when I asked him to take the dog out one last time before bed while he was playing video games (I was cleaning the kitchen).
    via u/Mieche78
  • He has always said he'll change and he promised he would yet again when I threatened to leave; and I really really really mean it this time. I've got a place to stay, a good job, and enough money. I don't need him but he definitely needs me.
    via u/Mieche78
  • InspectorBudget... This is but a taste of what your relationship and your household is going to look like if you end up tying the knot.
    via u/InspectorBudget8710
  • Maximum-Lunch... Not being judgemental buttttttt...... ....at first glance it seems like you're both failing since the bags don't even come close in comparison to the current situation that is your floor.
    via u/Maximum-Lunch-3657
  • fiveminl8 Does he leave wet towels on the bathroom floor as well? If so, you are not his girlfriend....you are his maid.
    via u/fiveminl8
  • syntaxVixen Someone should clean the cabinets and the other should mop the floor
    via u/syntaxVixen
  • KidsHaveNoWork... Seeing this makes me realize I need to stop thinking our house is filthy when I see a little dust under a piece of furniture I haven't moved in years.
    via u/KidsHaveNoWorkEthic

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boyfriend groceries manchild helpless household boyfriends relationships girlfriend chores dating
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