Hearing employee demands that office learns sign language, gets offended when coworker refuses: 'I don't have interest in learning another language for no reason'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jan 14, 2026 9:00 AM EST

People have a right to accessibility, but not to enforce their interests on others.

The working world has become a lot more aware of the need to make adjustments for certain employees over the past couple of decades, although there is still a lot of progress yet to be made. Everybody who wants to work has a right to the conditions that enable them to do that successfully.

At the same time, a lot of people who require extra support at work would probably agree that some of those supports do not always need to be there in every single workplace. It is certainly a bonus that the consideration and effort have been applied, but many accommodations only mean something if there is an employee or several who actually need them. 

As a result, it can be difficult to get every single employee on board with certain changes at work that do not seem to be for the benefit of anybody who currently works there. When there is so much to take into consideration with the average job anyway, adding extra pressure with practices that do not seem necessary can cause resentment and conflict where there doesn't need to be any.

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    via Natalia Blauth (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Learning any language as an adult can be a truly daunting task, and many might feel like it is even more overwhelming when that language is spoken almost entirely by gestures. Being fluent in sign language is an admirable skill. 

    Still, one employee was not pleased when their coworker insisted that their entire 12 person office start learning American Sign Language, so they could try to speak it on Fridays. This was agreed with their boss after she explained that it would be a positive step forward in inclusivity.

    Her coworker felt this put unnecessary pressure on everyone. This woman was learning sign language for her boyfriend, but he didn't work there, and nobody who did had these kinds of accessibility requirements. They refused to start signing, leading the colleague to complain to HR. They wondered if they were being unfair.

  • I work in a small office, about 12 people total. Three months ago we hired "Rachel" (28F) who is learning ASL because her boyfriend is d af.
    via Material_Sir_2049
  • Cool, good for her. The problem is Rachel has decided that our ENTIRE office should communicate in sign language "for practice" even though none of us know anyone who's deaf except her boyfriend who doesn't even work here.
    via Material_Sir_2049
  • She's been really pushy about it. She made this whole presentation to our boss about how it would be "inclusive" and "a valuable skill" if we all learned ASL.
    via Material_Sir_2049
  • Our boss (who always tries to keep everyone happy) agreed we'd do "sign language fridays" where we try to use ASL as much as possible.
    via Material_Sir_2049
  • I'm already learning Spanish for my job since we have clients who speak Spanish. I don't have time or interest in learning a whole other language for literally no reason.
    via Material_Sir_2049
  • When I said I wasn't going to participate Rachel got really offended. She said I'm being "abl st" and "discriminatory" which makes no sense because nobody in our office is d af?
    via Material_Sir_2049
  • She's learning it for her personal life, why does that mean I have to learn it?
    via Material_Sir_2049
  • Now she sends me passive aggressive messages in the group chat like "some people clearly don't value communication accessibility" and has complained to HR that I'm creating a "hostile environment" by not participating.
    via Material_Sir_2049
  • AITJ for refusing? TL;DR: Coworker learning sign language. for her deaf boyfriend wants entire office to learn ASL too, I refused because nobody here is deaf, she says I'm being discriminatory.
    via Material_Sir_2049
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    via Cherrydeck

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Parkour82 Your boss is an idiot.
    via Parkour82
  • 8amteetime So is Rachel.
    via 8amteetime
  • Material_Sir_2049 Original Poster's Reply Yea I don't. I cant stand them. Especially Rachel.. I would really understand if she is d af or one of our coworkers is. But none of them is deaf. She really wanted us to practice her
    via Material_Sir_2049
  • pinky_heat NTA. Rachel's weaponizing "inclusivity" to make her personal hobby a mandatory office-wide performance. Boss is spineless for signing off on this nonsense. You're not obligated to be her free practice dummy. Her HR complaint is laughable-you not learning ASL creates a "hostile environment," but her passive-aggressive group chat shaming doesn't? Please. Stand your ground. This is peak performative weirdness.
    via pinky_heat
  • Special Modus Operandi NTJ I think it's worth asking her why it's ableist and discriminatory- ask her to explain. I bet the reasons she gives would also means that other languages should be learnt. Like everyone learn Spanish as you have Spanish customers.
    via SpecialModusOperandi
  • fergie_89 Yep. I have a d af friend. Her workplace don't do BSL. She has been given plenty of stuff to help her. I know basic BSL because of her, I also adapt the way I talk when I'm with her to ensure lip reading is easier. This boss is an idiot and so is Rachel. She isn't the one with the disability and wanting colleagues to do it is just so she can practice more. I say BSL because British sign language and American sign language are different - another fun fact!
    via fergie_89
  • Nightdriver3000 Here the thing LEGALLY she has created a hostile work environment on several levels. First "she decided" what you are going to learn? That is like saying you will learn my religion and practice every Friday. Second "She said I'm being "abl_st" and "discriminatory" by saying that she is creating and promoting a toxic work envorment at best and could be taken as a threat. Third "Now she sends me passive aggressive messages in the group chat" and claiming you are creating a Hostile
    via Nightdriver3000

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sign language employee manager coworkers language Office entitled people
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