17-year-old uninvites friend from 18th birthday party after she brings "incompetent" cake: 'She spent ages on the cake. I said, "I don't care"'

Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor

Jan 20, 2026 3:00 PM EST

If you can't follow the simplest, most important instructions laid out in the group chat, sorry girl, but you can't come to this party!

When it comes to medical issues, some people just truly do not take it seriously. To me, that signals a lack of empathy, as well as a lack of community around them who have complex medical needs. This is the type of person who doesn't want to give a handicapped spot to a driver with a handicap placard because "they look like they can walk." They're the type of person who sees someone walk from a wheelchair to the couch and acts like that's a big "gotcha" moment. And, rather seriously in this person's case, they're the type of person who has no regard for other people's food preferences.

When I say food preferences, I'm not just talking about being vegetarian or vegan. That's also a choice that gets challenged a lot by people who don't have any common sense. Some folks get really upset if they find out someone is vegan just because they want to be, but if that same person had a medical reason why they're not eating meat, they might have more respect for it. And even so, certain people will try to trick their guests into eating foods that they're not supposed to be eating. This is the type of "friend" who will feed meat to a vegetarian, asking them the whole time if they're enjoying the dish, only to reveal afterwards that they were eating beef instead of veggie crumbles. They might frame it as an innocent prank, instead of a highly disrespectful, unhinged, and potentially even hazardous thing to do. Their desire to be controlling and manipulate the meal to their own liking takes priority over their guests' desires. You're being a bad friend if you do stuff like this, full stop! You're insisting that your preferences are more important than your friend's actual needs. And with friends like that, who needs enemies?

Check out the story here, as written by this 17-year-old on the edge of 18. She's planning her birthday party, and was kind enough to invite "Emily," her friend's new GF. It seems like Emily isn't totally new to the friend group, but bringing the cake she's insisting upon baking is giving the wrong impression entirely. I hope she thinks through her actions and reflects on why she wanted to bring this specific cake so badly. She's still young, so there's time to learn. But she truly needs to think about her actions here — what would've happened if she did bring that dessert, and how she would've felt sitting in the back of an ambulance with her friend on a stretcher. Let's all be a little kinder to our friends, okay?