Man confesses feelings for fiancée's sister and then abruptly ends the engagement, she comforts her devastated sister while debating whether keeping his reasons secret is the right choice: 'Was I wrong for not telling my suspicions earlier?'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Jan 21, 2026 4:00 PM EST

How do you tell your sister, "Sorry, he left you because he's in love with me?"

Most would argue that you don't. Even if it's the truth. Some truths are left better unsaid…and this just may be one of them. However, how does one live their life by keeping the one answer to all their heartbroken sister's questions a secret…

So here's the dilemma: Do you tell your sister the truth, knowing it might very well shatter her soul, and even cause her to feel resentment towards you? Or do you live with the guilt every single day, in hopes it may one day disappear? Maybe, there's no exact 'right' or 'wrong' answer…So, how does one decide the right path to take when it comes to family, or more specifically, sisterhood? 

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  • This woman was never a ‘fan’ of her sister's fiancé. She just always had this strange feeling that he had some sort of crush on her, and not in the vein, pick-me type way, but just a little gut feeling in her stomach. She never voiced these concerns to her sister, as she never really had the ‘proof’ to do so. Until one day, her sister's fiancé began confessing his love to her. In complete shock, she shut him down in a matter of seconds…And in a matter of a week, he ended their engagement without ever telling his fiancée the reason why…

    As you can imagine, she is left feeling a rollercoaster of emotions. What starts with confusion soon leads to utter devastation, reaching the peak of sadness, and then finally crashing down into anger. A repeating cycle. But who does she look to for comfort and support while trying to deal with accepting this new reality? Her best friend, of course…her sister. 

    The woman who is trying to be there for her sister while simultaneously trying to decide whether telling her the truth will only cause more bad than good.

  • Woman comforting her friend who is going through a divorce
    via gettyimages

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Aitah for not telling my sister the reason her ex broke it off with her?

    My sister and her ex- fiancé broke up after new year. He broke up with her. I have had my suspicions about him having some sort of crush on me for maybe a year now but he is very shy and honestly never bothered me so I ignored it.
    via Fair_Count2633
  • My long term bf and I broke up last summer. Mom invited us on a mini vacation on Christmas to celebrate her 60th birthday.
    via Fair_Count2633
  • My sister's fiancé was invited. Then my suspicions were confirmed when he told me. I don't know what flew into him.
    via Fair_Count2633
  • I think he regretted it the moment he said it. I told him to never say anything like that again and went for my room.
    via Fair_Count2633
  • Couple sitting in awkward silence on the couch in their living room
    via africa-images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • After new year he broke off the engagement. My sister is very distraught and confused. I have not been able to do anything but support her and cry with her but I feel disgusted with myself.
    via Fair_Count2633
  • Whenever anything happened to her the first person she turned to is me. She was here for two weeks crying.
    via Fair_Count2633
  • She will be here until she finds a new apartment. She is very confused. But I can't tell her.
    via Fair_Count2633
  • It is selfish maybe but I can't have her resent me or risk it anyway. She keeps asking why.
    via Fair_Count2633
  • He doesn't answer her. Am I the ah not telling her the truth? He texted me the night before he ended it.
    via Fair_Count2633
  • So I am almost sure he did it because of me. Was I wrong for not telling my suspicions earlier?
    via Fair_Count2633
  • But how could I? Who goes around accusing people of having a crush just because of gut feeling?
    via Fair_Count2633
  • Man leaving the house with his orange suitcase
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • casualLogic NTA - NEVER tell her what he said! But do be truthful and say he's a complete loser and so far beneath her, you're glad she can find somebody more up to her standard, you just didn't want to say anything earlier because she seemed happy, but you've never liked him.
    via casualLogic
  • Realistic-Macaron9 NTA. I think telling her might make her resent you even though (as far as it seems) you didn't do anything to lead her ex on. That's his problem. And you never got confirmation. Telling her could make it seem like you were at fault
    via Realistic-Macaron9
  • 1 RainbowUnicorn NTA. I think at this point, it would just make it worse for her to know. He is an AH and should be honest by telling her he ended it because he developed feelings for someone else... he does not need to say who. There wasn't a way to say your suspicion without being viewed as the bad guy. Just stay out of it and be there to support her through this.
    via 1RainbowUnicorn
  • NTA DarthKaep I'd take that shit to the grave if I was you. You weren't asking for it or to be put in this situation. But no way you don't get blamed if she finds out. Just think of it like this: she's lucky she dodged a bullet with a husband who at some point confesses his feelings about his SIL
    via DarthKaep
  • Material-Dot7684 Unpopular take apparently but NTA for not telling her now and honestly, I'm not sure he broke it off because of you. It sounds like he wasn't sold on your sister and a symptom of that was he got a crush on you and acted on it. people who are really sold out and engaged should be able to keep it in their pants. The fact he couldn't suggests it is more likely he wasn't super sold out, and you were there, he had a crush on you, so why not, at worst he loses sister which isn't the w
    via Material-Dot7684
  • jessie783 It sounds like you're just assuming you're the reason they broke up. For all you know he already had doubts and decided to leave for totally different reasons. Stay out of it and let them handle it between them.
    via jessie783
  • Chaoticgood790 NTA don't tell her. Her ex is a loser
    via Chaoticgood790
  • No_Truth7795 Damn you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. NTA and I would have done the same thing but there's a risk he will tell her eventually. He already proven himself to be a worthless pos
    via No_Truth7795
  • Le-Friday-oh-la-la The truth will give her closure. I would've told her immediately. She could've had the opportunity to be the one breaking up with him instead of her being broken up. I would let her know that you didn't know what to do or how to handle it without hurting her feelings. And that you are sorry. In retrospect, If I suspected that the boyfriend had the most minimal crush on me, I would've distanced myself. And if he persisted or she noticed and asked me, then I would tell my sister
    via Le-Friday-oh-la-la
  • School Bus Driver79 Take it to your grave. It's not your fault, but your sister won't see it that way. She'll not only lose her fiancé, but her sister as well. Hopefully you don't return his affections. Someday it may come out, and if it does it should come from him, but for now mum's the word. NTA
    via SchoolBusDriver79

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guilt break up confession sister engagement crush fiancee
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