Aunt asks niece to call out of work to babysit her 7 and 13-year-olds on a Saturday, calls her out when she asks to be paid: 'My aunt was upset and felt like I was putting money over family'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jan 22, 2026 10:00 PM EST

Everyone deserves to be paid for their work, but that doesn't always happen.

Sometimes we don't get rewarded for the work we do, and that's just the breaks. There is plenty of labor that we all have to do in a day that goes unrecognized by the world. We have to do things for ourselves and others that go without celebration. We have to unload the dishwasher and pick up our roommate's dry cleaning because it's on the way, pick up after our pets, and fold the laundry when we get home. This is simply the stuff of life. Plus, it can be nice to do things for others. It makes us feel good. It makes us feel like we're a part of something, even when we're all alone. Plus, we like people to do stuff for us. We might even rely on the help of others. That's part of being a human. 

This is especially true with family. We rely on each other, and that's a beautiful thing. We wouldn't be where we are without them, and that's by design. It's good to be able to use each other's help when you need it, and know they will always be there for you. But there are limits around this kind of expectation. We reserve the right to our own lives and our own boundaries, and that's a good thing. We need to make sure our needs are being met first, before we can help anyone else. It's the way it is. 

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  • A woman in a blue sweater holds her phone to her ear
    via Patty Zavala

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • But family can sometimes test our boundaries. They might get used to a certain amount of help, and then they start expecting it. They don't realize that you have your own priorities. That's the mode this family was stuck in when an aunt asked her niece for some help babysitting. That's not a crazy thing to ask. Childcare is something that most of us need help with from time to time, and it's always nice if it's with family. But it started to interfere with her regular life, and even her job. Scroll on to find out exactly what happened here and see what you think.

  • Am I in the wrong for telling my aunt that I can't babysit unless I'm paid?

    My aunt has four young kids (between 7 and 13) and often asks me to babysit when she runs errands or has plans. I usually say yes and don't expect anything in return. This time she asked me to watch them for a full Saturday. I had to give up a work shift to do it. Money is tight for me right now and that shift actually mattered.
    via u/adorablecherryy
  • I asked if she planned to pay me... she seemed caught off guard and said family doesn't charge family. I explained that I wouldn't be able to afford missing work but she really wasn't taking it well. She wasn't shouting or anything, but she had that kind of demeanour where you can tell she was a mix of angry/disappointed with me.
    via u/adorablecherryy
  • She found someone else, but later my mom told me my aunt was upset and felt like I was putting money over family. I don't feel good about it, but I also didn't want to pretend it didn't matter.
    via u/adorablecherryy
  • AITA? I feel like on one side, yes family shouldn't charge family, but on the otherside, when doing something for them causes you to lose out on money that you would have otherwise made, then it becomes more reasonable, or does it??
    via u/adorablecherryy

  • Commenters gave their takes on the situation.

    Sputtrosa • 6h ago If you had skipped work without getting paid by your aunt, you would have paid to babysit. She's disappointed you didn't pay to babysit her kids. And they're saying that you are putting money over family? NTA.
    via u/Sputtrosa
  • GeekHabits Next time just tell her you have work. Dont inconvenience yourself with no reward. NTA
    via u/GeekHabits
  • Two women look upset at each other on other ends of the couch
    via Unsplash+ (Curated Lifestyle)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • MasRemlap my mom told me my aunt was upset and felt like I was putting money over family Your Aunt wanted you to babysit for free at your expense to save money. I'm sure your Mother is not stupid enough to not realise this. NTA
    via u/MasRemlap
  • littlecupss dude your aunt is taking advantage of you thats not cool my cousin used to do this until i started asking for cash you gotta pay your bills she can get a real babysitter
    via u/littlecupss
  • Dogmother123 NTA Next time tell her that you are not free, You have work. It's bizarre reasoning that she expects you to drop a shift when money is tight so she can do whatever, putting herself above "family."
    via u/Dogmother123
  • panic_bread NTA, but you are being an asshole to yourself by not standing up for yourself. Do not ever watch these kids unless you want to and she's paying you. Why isn't your mom watching the kids if that's how she feels about it?
    via u/panic_bread
  • PlentifulBox NTA. Your aunt is taking advantage of you. Not to mention, putting money into niblings pockets is part of the fun of being an aunt. I do not like her. Booo.
    via u/PlentifulBox
  • Several_Razzmat... If you're scheduled to work, don't even say you can babysit if she would pay you. Just say "I'm sorry, I can't babysit for you Saturday, I have to work." If she says you should skip work, just say she should understand that work is an
    via u/Several_Razzmatazz51
  • adult responsibility and that you can't just blow it off or you will lose your job. Ask her "Do you want me to lose my job?" See just how far she will take her self- centeredness. And then go to work.
    via u/Several_Razzmatazz51
  • babydtheone NTA. I'm betting that whoever she found to replace you was paid for their time. You did nothing wrong and your mom has no right to make you feel bad. I personally would never babysit for her again she does not respect you.
    via u/babydtheone
  • underwater_owl NTA Tell her, "no, I have to work on Saturday" Period. Don't take off your regular job even if she is paying you! Unless you don't care if you lose your job? She is the AH if she expects you to skip work to babysit for her. You are clearly babysitting too often if she thinks she can drop them off any time. You need to say "no" more often.
    via u/underwater_owl
  • BuzzyLightyear100 Sounds like your mum is offering to babysit! Don't give up paid work to do this. If you already have plans, you are not available to babysit. Easy. NTA, but you need to pull back.
    via u/BuzzyLightyear100
  • No_Nefariousnes... NTA. Family doesn't EXPLOIT family. "She found someone else". If that someone else got paid, then clearly she can afford to pay for babysitting. So her refusal to pay you is 100% exploitation.
    via u/No_Nefariousness4801
  • You did not give birth to those children. They are not your responsibility, and absolutely should not be costing you income from your regular job. Free Babysitting is not a 'family perk'. Family is family... And Business is
    via u/No_Nefariousness4801
  • Business. Babysitting is Business. It's work. It's time consuming. It can be strenuous and stressful. It most DEFINITELY should be compensated. It is different from and should be considered separate from 'visiting'.
    via u/No_Nefariousness4801
  • Spoiler alert: there's a real good chance that Auntie isn't actually upset because she 'thinks your putting money over family'... She's actually most likely upset that she isn't getting free labor from you under the guise of 'family doesn't charge family' anymore.
    via u/No_Nefariousness4801
  • This is a great opportunity to reevaluate this situation, establish boundaries, and show them that your kindness is not to be taken for weakness. You have your own responsibilities to take care of.
    via u/No_Nefariousness4801
  • LadyWiezel NTA but family seems to only help family when it benefits your aunt. When you are the one who is put as a disadvantage or even has to struggle to pay the bills it does not seem to matter. Tbh personally, I would never babysit for free for her ever again - only if it was truly an emergency.
    via u/LadyWiezel
  • Rare_Sugar_7927 Unfortunately money required to live. So no, working for free, even if its. for family, isnt going to pay the bills. Bad enough if she was asking you to give up your free time, but to cost you income, and possibly PTO if you have to use that (or ask a favor to swap shifts), thats a hell no especially when it wasnt an emergency.
    via u/Rare_Sugar_7927
  • NTA. Personally Id stop doing her any favors. Even if she offers to pay, she sounds the type who'd take advantage of that by returning very late, expecting you to do the housework, and then shorting you on the payment. And if mom has a problem with it, she can go watch the kids. Cos after all, family helps family right, even if they have to take the day off work...
    via u/Rare_Sugar_7927
  • artemis1860 NTA. On the other hand, family doesn't feel entitled to free labor.
    via u/artemis1860
  • MangoManiacal NTA. Next time just say "No, I have to work." The onus is then on her to persuade you to give up the shift.
    via u/MangoManiacal
  • BubblySyrup1715 NTA You had every right to do what you did plus its her fault for not understanding your explanation which, fyil was reasonable
    via u/BubblySyrup1715
  • CrazyCatLadyNL NTA. Of course you should be paid. Babysitting 4 kids is definitely worth that, also when it's for family. I remember when my sister and I were very young (in the 70's) some of our older cousins sometimes watched us. I'm sure that they didn't do that for free.
    via u/CrazyCatLadyNL
  • Powerful_Put_6977 Family certainly does charge/pay family for giving up a paid shift at work to look after children. Tell your aunt that you're actually not able to do it for free, that you've contacted your manager at work
    via u/Powerful_Put_6977
  • advising them that you're able to work the paid shift as you would have been, and she'll have to find someone else to look after her kids for free! She should match what you would be getting at your paid employment for this at the very least! NTA
    via u/Powerful_Put_6977

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family drama babysitter labor niece babysitting aunt family payment
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