Sister accuses her brother of "betraying a legacy", after she discovers that he sold the 10-year-old “heirloom” gold coin gifted to him by their parents, to pay off his financial debt: 'It’s not actually an heirloom. There’s no family history'

At what point in time does a random object lying on the top shelf of one's closet become an invaluable family heirloom?

No, but like seriously…Is there a certain timeline or generation that marks the shift of a 80cent candle stick holder into an irreplaceable family heirloom? Trust me, I'm a huge fan of sentimentalism and would even consider myself an active member of the 'I care a lot' club, but where does one draw the line between sentiment and being excessive? 

The thing I love about families is that they know how to turn something ordinary, in to something special…But many families don't necessarily know all about their history, and the people and places they came from. Let alone have the luxury of possessing family heirlooms. So it is natural, and even expected for these types of people to crave something different for their own family one day…Perhaps in the form of starting new traditions, sharing old stories, or even creating new family heirlooms that they wish to pass down to their future generations…Because every tradition, story or generational heirloom had to start somewhere. 

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  • Ten years ago this couple bought a gold coin off of a very special place known as the internet. They wanted to start a new tradition of creating a family heirloom that could be passed through generations, so they decided to gift it to their oldest child. Sweet, right? Well, as much as he appreciated their gesture, he knew that the coin had no real family history, and was truthfully purchased as more of an ‘investment’ at the time…accepting it anyway. However, recently he was in a vulnerable spot with his finances, as sold the coin as a way to pay off his high-interest debt, and cover some unexpected repairs…Some would call this smart, while others would call it insensitive…Either way, it got him out of trouble during those tough times.

    However, he seemed to get himself back into trouble in recent times. Except this time it wasn't financial. During a family dinner, his mother happened to bring up the coin, excited about the ways in which he would be passing it down to his children. He did not comment on it at the table, instead he turned to his sister and explained what he had done with their family's coin. She was furious, accusing him of destroying a family legacy…He's pretty sure a legacy is more than a decade old, but anyway, let's continue…

    She demanded he apologize to their parents and find some sort of way to make it up to them! But he simply defending his actions, claiming how it was ‘gifted’ to him without conditions and he should therefore have full control over what he does with the ‘internet-bought’ coin. 

  • 01
    Adult siblings arguing in their family's living room while sitting on a couch
    via pixelshot

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    AITAH for selling something my parents called an “heirloom” and not telling them?

    So about 10 years ago my parents gave me a gold coin. They called it an "heirloom" and made a big deal about how I should keep it forever and pass it down someday.
    via clearcutsupply
  • 03
    Except... it's not actually an heirloom. There's no family history. They bought it online like 10 years ago because gold was "safe" and it sat around in their closet until they "passed it on" to me.
    via clearcutsupply
  • 04
    Fast forward to this year. Life happens, money got tight, and gold prices are way up.
    via clearcutsupply
  • 05
    I sold the coin. Used the money to knock out some high interest debt and cover an unexpected repair.
    via clearcutsupply
  • 06
    Honestly it helped a lot and I'm no longer bullish. I didn't tell my parents. At a family dinner a couple weeks back my mom said something like "your kids will have that coin someday." I didn't say anything.
    via clearcutsupply
  • 07
    I didn't lie, but I didn't correct her either. I told my sister about it later and she flipped out, saying I "destroyed a family legacy" and lied by omission.
    via clearcutsupply
  • 08
    An outdoor family dinner in the spring
    via sydaproductions

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    Now she's saying I owe my parents an apology and should have asked first. There were never any conditions on the gift.
    via clearcutsupply
  • 10
    It was mine. I didn't blow the money on something stupid. But now I'm being told I betrayed their trust and disrespected what the gift was supposed to represent.
    via clearcutsupply
  • 11
    AITAH here or is this being blown out of proportion?
    via clearcutsupply
  • 12
    lapsteelguitar Why did you say anything to your sister? That was a stupid. I said it.
    via lapsteelguitar
  • 13
    OP clearcutsupply Will have to agree with you here. I thought we had a bond. Is she also TAH?
    via clearcutsupply
  • 14
    OP clearcutsupply If something is framed as having a history it doesn't actually have, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to instinctively treat it as sacred forever.
    via clearcutsupply
  • 15
    OkSignature3562 YTA, but you don't care. It's disingenuous to claim you didn't know you were supposed to keep it or to pass it down to your kids when they called it an heirloom when they gave it to you. Also it's disingenuous to claim there were any stipulations on the gift when they told you it was an heirloom. Do you just not know what the word "heirloom" means? Did you knowingly understand what an heirloom was and sold it because you thought you could get away with it? Heirloom; a valuable ob
    via OkSignature3562
  • 16
    OP clearcutsupply But it's not an heirloom. When I asked where it came from I learned they bought it online like 10 years ago...lol. It made no sense...lol.
    via clearcutsupply
  • 17
    HeartMelodic8572 How do you say that neither one of you are the A? Here's my take: 1. They were trying to begin the tradition of an heirloom, so they told you it was an heirloom, so their grandkids, Etc, would say this is an heirloom from these particular set of grandparents. But they didn't tell you that it was the beginning of the heirloom's life, and they were trying to get it trending in the family! That was their mistake, but it doesn't make them an Ahole. Every heirloom starts somewhere I
    via HeartMelodic8572
  • 18
    An ancient gold coin on a black surface
    via iris

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    geomann5k NTA and not an heirloom. Heirlooms have stories and history attached to them, memories of significance to the family. Not to make light of it, but what's this coin's history? It was purchased from some website, sat in a closet for ten years, and then given away. What's the significance there? I'll grant that a decade may not be long enough to attach a memory of import to the coin, but it doesn't sound like there was any REAL attachment to the object from anyone aside from the IDEA of h
    via geomann5k
  • 20
    OP clearcutsupply The date on the coin wasn't even a birth year or anything. I recently purchased proof american silver eagles with birth years of the kids. Maybe that can be a fresh start on the whole thing.
    via clearcutsupply
  • 21
    OP clearcutsupply Exactly, and the facts they presented did not even seem to be true.
    via clearcutsupply
  • 22
    ConvivialKat YTA for telling your sister what you did. Why didn't you keep your mouth shut????
    via ConvivialKat
  • 23
    OP clearcutsupply i never claimed i was smart...
    via clearcutsupply
  • 24
    Itchy_Juice_2528 NTA. Tell your parents before your sister does. You needed the money more than the coin. The coin had no sentimental value to either you or your parents even though they felt it was an "heirloom". A gold coin sitting in a drawer or jewelry box isn't much of a heirloom, you can't use it, it's not practical to display it. It was a gift to you and you used it for practical reasons. If your sister or parents think you've done something awful - they can buy another which will look ex
    via Itchy_Juice_2528
  • 25
    OP clearcutsupply Yeah, keeping 20% debt around for a PM just seemed stupid.
    via clearcutsupply

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