Vegan girlfriend demands that her boyfriend get rid of his loyal cat because cats eat meat, he responds by choosing right and breaking up with her: [She said] the very act of owning a pet is a violation of vegan principles'

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
Jan 30, 2026 11:00 AM EST

Owning a cat means you and that cat are a package deal in relationships, and your partner needs to know that. 

It's important to have the Cat Talk early on in new relationships, to set the expectations quickly. You and your cat come together. You are a family. And your partner has to accept that and everything that comes with it. The ones who don't like it, the people who hate cats or traits that cats have, have no business dating someone who has cats. You should never be put in a position of having to choose between your partner and your cat. 

You find out all kinds of weird beliefs that people have about cats once you actually start talking to them about it. People who think that it is unhygienic to kiss your cat on their little forehead and are turned off by it. People who are jealous of their partner's love for their cat and find themselves resenting the cat and the partner because of it. And although this is not true about all vegans - we know, we're dating one who loves cats - apparently, some of them think that cats eating meat is a problem. 

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  • 01

    "My (22M) vegan girlfriend (21F) wants me to get rid of my cat"

    picture of a cat with its tongue out
    via Unsplash / Lala Azizli

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I can't believe I'm about to type this but here we go. I've been dating my GF for 7 months. She's amazing and we're super compatible in a lot of ways.
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  • 03
    She is an outspoken vegan, and she made it clear at the start of our relationship that it was important to her that any potential had similar cruelty-free values. Me, already being a pescatarian, had little difficulty transitioning to a fully plant based diet. My GF was proud of me for going cruelty free and everything seemed well. We became "the vegan couple" on our college campus.
    via throwRA78wdhsg
  • 04
    Then there is my cat, Mittens... I've had her for three years and I adore her. She's such a sweet and cuddly cat. However, my GF was always a little apprehensive around her, and she blamed it on not growing up around cats. After a while we sort of made a tacit agreement to mostly hang out at her apartment instead of mine, so Mittens never really came up again in conversation.
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  • 05
    Fast forward... my gf and I have spent a lot of time together and we've started talking about taking our relationship to the next level. We began seriously looking at either buying a new apartment together or having one of us move in with the other.
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  • 06
    However, after a lot of talking and planning, my GF sat me down and dropped a bomb shell on me. She said that with this next phase of the relationship, she did not see a future with me unless I was willing to give away Mittens. She said that she believed owning a cat is unconscionable for vegans, because they hunt mice and eat meat, and because the very act of owning a pet is a violation of vegan principles.
    via throwRA78wdhsg
  • 07
    I was stunned. I told her that I was absolutely not willing to give up Mittens, and she had no choice but to eat meat so I was reducing harm as much as possible by buying reputable brands of cat food. Plenty of vegans own cats and think along those same lines. My gf got mad and said "how much flesh does your cat eat? How many animals died to make all that food? Would you be okay with that being human flesh?"
    via throwRA78wdhsg
  • 08
    I got mad and told my GF that I would have really appreciated her telling me about her cat opinions before we got serious. She went on and on about cats killing animals. I ended the conversation there. I was so angry that I left my gfs apartment. And I snuggled with Mittens when I got home! Although the mood soured a bit when my GF sent me a link to a Reddit thread advocating for the extinction of domestic cats. Sigh
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  • 09
    I think it goes without saying that I am not going to get rid of my cat. However, it pains me to think that an otherwise wonderful relationship could be ending because of a difference in ideology.
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  • 10
    I don't even really understand where my GF is coming from because like I said, a lot of vegans own cats. Now granted, cat ownership can be a controversial topic in vegan circles and I probably would not have gotten a cat if I had been vegan at the time, but I have Mittens now, and she deserves to eat. (Yes, I've researched vegan cat food, but Mittens has some digestive issues and my vet strongly cautions against it.)
    via throwRA78wdhsg
  • 11
    I've talked to some of my vegan and vegetarian friends and they all think my gf has lost her mind. Some have suggested that it's not about Mittens and my gf just wants an excuse to end it. They probably don't understand why I haven't broken up yet, but I care about my GF so much. I'd hate for this bizarre curve ball to be the end of a beautiful thing. I want to try and work something out.
    via throwRA78wdhsg
  • 12
    Where do I even go from here? | will not compromise on Mittens and I don't think my GF will compromise either.
    via throwRA78wdhsg

  • Oh, wow. We don't even know where to start. First of all, we're sorry that you had to go through this after seven months of a relationship and after getting so invested in it. Because we think you would have acted very differently had you known this about her from the get-go. Second of all, we're glad that she thinks the way that she does! Because it means that she will never get a pet in her life, and that pet will not have to suffer her. Third, you are not overreacting, and ending the relationship with her is the only right thing that you could have done in this situation, sad as it might be. You sound like a good guy. You deserve much better anyway. 

  • 13
    picture of a gray cat with an angry face
    via Unsplash / Nour Wageh - nourwageh

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 14
    elderjayk Thank you for doing right by Mittens. You're a good person.
    via elderjayk
  • 15
    throwRA78wdhsg OP Thank you for your kind words, I honestly feel like I'm going crazy, even having to make a decision like that. Sigh
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  • 16
    Chakakhanukkah See if the local shelter will allow you to surrender your girlfriend.
    via Chakakhanukkah
  • 17

    "My (22M) vegan girlfriend (21F) wants me to get rid of my cat. UPDATE"

    picture of a cute cat with a folded ear
    via Unsplash / CHA - cha_jay

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 18
    TL;DR My gf is a passionate vegan and wants me to get rid of my beloved cat because cats eat meat and kill mice.
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  • 19
    First of all, let me say thank you for everyone who offered advice. There are over 7,000 comments on my original post and I have dozens of PMs. Frankly I'm still pretty overwhelmed with the magnitude of the response. I did my best to read most everyone's comments but obviously I couldn't get to everything!
    via throwRA78wdhsg
  • 20
    I would also like to preempt this post by saying, as many users pointed out, that my GFs extreme views on domestic cats are not representative of the vegan/vegetarian community as a whole. I do think that, sometimes, new vegans can be a little overzealous. In reality, most of us are just doing the best that we can to not hurt animals! I did not expect to generate a big debate in the comments.
    via throwRA78wdhsg
  • 21
    So, we broke up, obviously. I would never, ever give up my cat Mittens. Many users said that this situation was about control, not veganism, and looking back, I do see a pattern of control on my GFs part. I was blind to it I guess.
    via throwRA78wdhsg

  • It 100% sounds like it was more about control than anything else. The cat is one thing, turning you into a vegan when that wasn't who you were to begin with is another. Eventually, we think that this is going to be a story you look back on and laugh about, thanking god that you made the right decision by leaving her. There is someone out there who would love you and your cat equally. 

  • 22
    I called my GF and said I was not willing to give up Mittens under any circumstances, and given the recent issues we'd had, and our incompatible views, I thought it was best that we parted ways. I said she deserved a partner that shared her values. She then asked if we were breaking up, I said yes. There was some anger on her end but otherwise the situation actually went better than I expected.
    via throwRA78wdhsg
  • 23
    So, yeah. That's really it. Oh, and several users did ask to see a picture of Mittens. I have uploaded one to imgur: https://imgur.com/a/Wxk6qG Thanks again to everyone who offered advice. It really helped.
    via throwRA78wdhsg
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    Cheezburger Image 10600280832
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ultimatum boyfriend cat drama girlfriend cute cats vegan breakup Cats
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