40-year-old refuses to give in to her 3-year-old cousin's temper tantrums while babysitting her, mom scolds her for not giving her daughter exactly what she wants: 'How dare you try to discipline my child?'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Feb 2, 2026 11:00 AM EST

She's trying to help her cousin become a functioning member of society, but her mother clearly doesn't want that. 

No parent likes to hear their child crying. There's a reason the "cry it out" method that dominated the 20th century feels unnatural to parents: it probably is. If a newborn is crying, it's natural to want to comfort them and help the crying stop. No parent can hold their child literally every single time they cry, especially if they have other children to attend to and a household to manage, but there's a difference between letting your baby self-soothe most of the time and having to let them cry while you cook dinner and make sure your toddlers don't hurt themselves. 

Toddlers and babies are totally different. They might both cry to get something they want from their parents, but a toddler is old enough to learn that screaming and crying are not acceptable ways to get what they want. A baby cries because they have, quite literally, no other way of communicating their needs with their parents. Toddlers are not manipulative monsters, but they certainly act like manipulative monsters. It's a parent's job to teach their little kids that they won't give in to screaming, crying, or carrying on. If they give in to a kid who cries over not getting ice cream, that kid is going to learn that crying for ice cream is a surefire way to get their hands on it. 

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • A crying small girl with unrecognizable mother indoors loosing baby tooth
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • It can be emotionally difficult to hear your kid crying, even when it's over something silly like TV. That's why so many parents will permissively allow their children to do whatever they want to stop the crying. The babysitter in this story tried to put her foot down, but the girl's mother would rather her daughter run amok.

  • Am I wrong for not immediately giving in to a 3 year old having a temper tantrum in front of her gentle parenting mother?

    I (40f, no kids) sometimes babysit my 3f cousin. Her mother is one of those gentle parents, which means that with every single temper tantrum the kid gets what they want.
    via u/fusguita
  • There's zero atempts at discipling the child, everything is solved by either giving the child what she wants or just nursing her to shut her up.
    via u/fusguita
  • Needless to say, to say this child is a menace is an understatement, but I digress.
    via u/fusguita
  • Anyway, I'm not here to discipline other people's kids, but it makes me so sad. She really is a smart sweet kid with huge potential, and it hurts me to my core to see it go to waste like that, as the kids behaviour gets worse and worse by the day.
    via u/fusguita
  • But today we were watching Bluey. I try to make it so we watch a max of 2-3 episodes after we play, trying to not have too much screen time.
    via u/fusguita
  • Little girl clicking through channels on TV
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • We were on our third episode when her mom came to get her. She starts full on screaming for another episode.
    via u/fusguita
  • I turn off the tv and say "I understand you want to watch another episode. I will put on just one more when you calm down, stop crying, and ask nicely, ok?".
    via u/fusguita
  • This normally works when the mom is not here, but this time of course the kid would not calm down because she knows that mommy will get her what she wants.
    via u/fusguita
  • So I didn't turn the tv back on. The mom gave me this deathly look, like "how dare you try to discipline my child".
    via u/fusguita
  • And told me "just put it on" with a bit of an attitude. I just stayed there with the remote in my hand not knowing what to do.
    via u/fusguita
  • And the kid just kept screaming. Loud. AITAH for not giving in to the temper tantrum right away?
    via u/fusguita
  • I know it's her mother's way and this is her child, but still. It's so hard to do it knowing that I'm actively ruining this child, I just can't.
    via u/fusguita
  • Mother comforts daughter after she has a temper tantrum
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Hot_Needleworker4631 You don't understand the difference between gentle parenting and permissive parenting. This person is permissive, and they're going to raise a very spoiled, poorly adjusted child because of it. NTA
    via u/Hot_Needleworker4631
  • fusguita Original Poster's Reply That's exactly what it is!!! Is that a thing? This is going to generate some unregulated adults in the future, and they will be the ones taking care of us in our old age. We're all doomed
    via u/fusguita
  • non_person_sphere So it's not ok to talk to a child in any way which is stern but appararently it's completely acceptable to order you what to do in your own home? NTA
    via u/non_person_sphere
  • fusguita Original Poster's Reply I KNOW, RIGHT? I was flabbergasted. Like, could you just turn that attitude towards disciplining your child, or?...
    via u/fusguita
  • AlternativeLie9486 Your house, your rules.
    via u/AlternativeLie9486
  • fusguita Original Poster's Reply Right? But does that apply when the kid's mother is right there?
    via u/fusguita
  • Big_Year_526 NTA your being consistent in the way you apply the rules. That's super important for kiddos
    via u/Big_Year_526
  • fusguita Original Poster's Reply Yes, and apparently she likes it? She always cries because she doesn't want to leave my house, and is never rude to me like she is to her mother. It's very interesting.
    via u/fusguita
  • ModeratelyAverage6 What you did... is gentle parenting.... What her mother is doing is called permissive parenting... the fact that you don't know the difference, slanders gentle parenting, then proceeds to gentle parent.... Is telling of your lack of understanding for gentle parenting. Nta. But please.. learn the difference.
    via u/ModeratelyAverage6
  • fusguita Original Poster's Reply I stand corrected. It's the mother that claims that what she does is "gentle parenting". I'm not a parent, so I just took her word for it. I'm glad people here are educating me on this!
    via u/fusguita
  • Worth_Raspberry_11 The irony is what you did is actually gentle parenting. A pretty perfect example, really. What your cousin's mom did is just not parent her child and give in because she cares more about shutting up her kid and not having to deal with the actual work of parenting and raising and teaching her kid. She's calling it gentle parenting because it sounds better than saying I'm just going to spoil my kid cause I'm lazy and don't really care if she becomes a functional and well- adjust
    via u/Worth_Raspberry_11
  • shammy_dammy Time to stop watching her.
    via u/shammy_dammy
  • Hopeful-Wave4822 This sounds a lot like what I was taught was gentle parenting.
    via u/Hopeful-Wave4822
  • PeeplsFrontOfJudea NTA - "Gentle Parenting" does not mean zero discipline or boundaries. It simply means that we don't discipline with violence and abuse. The mom should not allow or encourage this behavior and is setting herself and the child up for failure.
    via u/PeeplsFrontOfJudea

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

tantrum toddler niece parenting babysitting aunt gentle mom cousins children television
Scroll Down For The Next Article