Mom refuses to pay babysitter the agreed-upon amount after she returns home earlier than expected, babysitter demands full payment: ‘What's the big deal?’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Mar 6, 2026 6:00 PM EST

Seems like the baby in this story is actually the parent.

There are two types of babysitting jobs: the first one is when you babysit for someone you don't really know, and the second is when you babysit for a family member or a close friend. And while, in theory, these two should not be that different, there are actually a lot of elements that set them apart.

When you babysit for someone you don't really know, things tend to go a lot more smoothly. You agreed on the payment, time, and responsibilities in advance, you keep everything professional and polite, and you don't have to talk or see them until the next time the babysitting service is required. When you babysit for someone you know, however, the blurred lines between it being a job and a favor cause the whole deal to become a lot more complicated, and oftentimes, a lot more awkward as well.

The woman in the story below didn't think that agreeing to babysit her friend's kids would cause her to want to end the friendship altogether, but that is exactly what happened. Even though they had set everything up like they should have–a time, a place, and the payment amount, this babysitting job took the wrong turn rather quickly.

It all went haywire when the mom returned home earlier than expected, which meant she cut the babysitting job short. Most people in her situation would still pay the babysitter the full amount, since it was what they agreed on in advance, but because this babysitter was her friend, the mom decided to deduct the pay to match the actual hours her friend ended up babysitting. Not only did she deduct the pay, but she also criticized her friend's babysitting skills and accused her of being a bad friend for expecting to be paid in full for the job she had done for her.

If this mom weren't friends with the babysitter, we doubt she would have behaved this way, which further proves that you should not mix friends or family with business, even for something as simple as babysitting. 

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  • Kids hugging their mom when she returns home while the babysitter looks at them.
    via Andrej Lišakov

    Kids hugging their mom when she returns home while the babysitter looks at them.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITA for getting upset my friend tried to deduct money because she felt she came home too early

    AITA for getting upset that a friend tried to deduct money from our agreed babysitting price because she felt she came home too early?
    via No_Dragonfly3431
  • She only paid half and told me to ask about the other half next Thursday. When I asked she told me she was deducting 10 dollars because she came home earlier than expected and she said I was being weird considering I'm not asking other people who owe me money to repay me.
    via No_Dragonfly3431
  • At first she said she wouldn't have it until the following week but then sent the full amount and told my sister I kept asking about it so she felt pressured to send it even though it was her last bit of money til next week.
    via No_Dragonfly3431
  • I sent it back because the urgency wasn't the issue it was deducting money and comparing the situation that bothered me.
    via No_Dragonfly3431
  • She told my sister she didn't even think I was a qualified sitter because she didn't think I was even cpr certified, which I have been 3 times due to working at a gym.
    via No_Dragonfly3431
  • And honestly, who doesn't know if their babysitter can save their kids life in an emergency but leaves them with that person anyway?
    via No_Dragonfly3431
  • Is $80 for overnight sitting for 3 kids in the Bay Area too much to ask from a friend?
    via No_Dragonfly3431
  • Mom leaving the house while kids waving her goodbye.
    via Andrej Lišakov

    Mom leaving the house while kids waving her goodbye.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • TragicaDeSpell Don't you mean "former friend"?
    via TragicaDeSpell
  • No_Dragonfly3431 Original Poster's Reply I'm still deliberating on this but much of our "hanging out" is me helping her clean her house, prune her garden, go grocery shopping or watch her kids so she can go out. I don't know if this was ever really a friendship. When I needed to move she lent me some money that was quickly repaid and since then I've been feeling more like a free service provider than a friend. Maybe loneliness got the best of me.
    via No_Dragonfly3431
  • Only-Breadfruit-6108 Again, you shouldn't have sent the money back. You did the work, you got the money, then you messed up. You had the money! Now stop complaining.
    via Only-Breadfruit-6108
  • No_Dragonfly3431 Original Poster's Reply My question relates to the value of the friendship. I'm not that pressed over 40$ it was more about principles of respect and value outside of monetary worth.
    via No_Dragonfly3431
  • Only-Breadfruit-6108 You can't complain about her not paying you properly if she sent you the money but you sent it back. YTA
    via Only-Breadfruit-6108
  • No_Dragonfly3431 Original Poster's Reply I'm complaining that she even tried to pay less to begin with when it's already a ridiculously low price. I sent it back because urgency wasn't the issue it was her devaluing an already undervalued thing. I would never take anyone's last anything though I personally know that statement wasn't true it was a reach for empathy. It p ed me off
    via No_Dragonfly3431
  • Forsoothia NTA. She agreed to a flat fee (a steal at $80 imho) before the night. If she wanted to max her time out then she should have stayed out longer. If she wanted to pay you only for the time you were there then she should have paid by the hour and told you that BEFORE the night started. She's being scammy and cheap. Don't do her any favors again.
    via Forsoothia
  • No_Dragonfly3431 Original Poster's Reply I was 6.5 hours in when she came home, for 80$ I already made less than minimum wage in the area... the $10 deduction was just an added smack in my face.
    via No_Dragonfly3431
  • Otherwise_Chemist920 You pay people for their services. That's how hiring people works. Does she not understand that? You're a doormat for sending it back
    via Otherwise_Chemist920
  • MiddleMuscle8117 $80 is a steal. I would expect to pay $100 or more for overnight care. EDIT: h I, I'd pay whatever was asked HAHA NTA for asking for what you were owed. It sounds like your friend needs to straighten out their finances instead of going out.
    via MiddleMuscle8117
  • No_Dragonfly3431 As "friends" I would help her clean her house, prune her garden, etc... with absolutely no pay but she said she never once complained if I ate snacks so what's the big deal? Because I'm her "friends" I should help her do things for free like installing all her curtains as we "hang out"...yeah...no...she doesn't sound like a friend in the slightest.
    via No_Dragonfly3431

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Tags

family drama baby babysitter kids mother friends babysitting family payment money women parents children
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