New parents blame grandma for sick baby's poor appetite and forbid her from babysitting, however, internet sides with grandma: ‘Absolutely everything is different when a kid is sick!'

Kids getting a little cold or a runny nose is no new experience to families. It happens often, and even more so once they start going to school. So parents learn that children act completely differently when they are sick. You remember, don't you? When you were little, and all of a sudden, you never needed your mommy or daddy more. It still sometimes feels like that as an adult! Unfortunately, these new parents panicked and blamed the grandma for their sick child's perfectly normal sick child behavior…

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  • Grandma and grand baby looking lovingly at each other
    via Unsplash+ (and Olivie Strauss)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
    Grandma and grand baby looking lovingly at each other

  • This loving grandma was trying her best while babysitting her son's baby. She is just trying to be a helpful grandma as her little grandbaby wasn't feeling so good. Just a little cold, nothing serious, but the baby wasn't allowed to go to daycare due to the possibility of it spreading to other children. Totally understandable. But the parents needed to work, so that's when the grandma stepped in to babysit, completely for free, and spend some time with her grandbaby. 

    The baby wasn't feeling well, so they weren't eating all that much and they weren't napping very well. The grandma relayed this concerning behavior to the parents, also pointing out a diaper rash that was developing. The parents were concerned for the baby, but didn't think to blame the grandma until the kid went back to daycare and the teachers pointed it out. Instead of concentrating on the fact that the baby was sick, thus making sense for the baby's current state, they went straight to blaming the grandma and accusing her of poorly babysitting. They even went so far as to forbid her from babysitting again… That's harsh, and the internet agrees. 

  • "AITA for telling my parents that we are not comfortable with my mother babysitting our one-year-old?"

    About 2 weeks ago, my wife and I had to find an emergency babysitter for our 1 y/o who was fighting a small illness and had to avoid daycare because of it. Nothing serious, we're all doing better now, daycare just didn't want to expose the other kids.
    via WagonWheel22
  • Completely understandable. We asked my mom to babysit until our 1 y/o improved enough to return to daycare. My job has some flexibility in that I'm able to stop home at lunch, and when I did my
    via WagonWheel22
  • mother commented that our child wasn't really eating and took only a few very short naps. However, when I tried giving some of the same food that was set out for our 1 y/o, they almost immediately ate everything up.
    via WagonWheel22
  • Additionally, both days. before I left to return to work, I had asked if there was anything I could do to help, like check diapers, allow my mom a chance to go to the bathroom, etc.
    via WagonWheel22
  • At the end of the first day when my wife returned from work, my wife said our 1 y/o was extremely fussy, tired, and hungry. Additionally, they had developed a severe diaper rash. With limited babysitter options, we decided to have my mom
    via WagonWheel22
  • watch one more day and see if daycare would let her back in if their illness improved. After the 2nd day, my wife had another similar report about our 1 y/o,
    via WagonWheel22
  • and that the diaper rash had worsened, however their illness was improving, so we decided to try and go to daycare (with their approval) the next day.
    via WagonWheel22
  • When my wife picked her up from daycare the following day, they (politely) asked if our 1 y/o had anything to eat the past few days, because their #2 diapers were similar to that of a newborn who only drank milk/formula. Additionally,
    via WagonWheel22
  • they were deeply concerned about the diaper rash. This immediately set off red flags for my wife and I, and this is not the first time we've been concerned about my mom's babysitting, either.
    via WagonWheel22
  • Previously, there have been issues getting our child down for longer naps and trying to limit negative screen time (i.e. turning on something other than a news channel all day).
    via WagonWheel22
  • So, that leads us to my question: Are we the for telling my mother we are not comfortable with her watching over our child? A bonus follow-up question, how should I have told my parents this?
    via WagonWheel22
  • Grandma holds her newborn grandbaby, happy
    via Unsplash+ (and Tim Mossholder)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
    Grandma holds her newborn grandbaby, happy

  • etds3 YTA. You think your mom was neglecting your kid because her behavior was off when sick? I'm honestly amazed that you haven't figured out by now that absolutely everything is different when a kid is sick.
    via etds3
  • She didn't take long naps? When my babies were sick, there were times I had to sleep in a recliner holding them upright to get them to sleep at all because they were so congested and miserable. Also, she was out of her normal routine: kids
    via etds3
  • don't nap well outside of their normal routine, and it. has nothing to do with your mom's skills. Anyone you sent her to would likely have trouble getting her to nap well.
    via etds3
  • She didn't eat? Again, that is textbook sick kid. To this day, my 9 year old all but stops eating when he's sick. As a baby, he lost a significant amount of weight when he had RSV because he would not eat.
    via etds3
  • Thankfully, he was a chubby baby and could handle that without consequences. It also doesn't surprise me at all that your baby would only eat comfort food-ie milk-when sick. That's normal for adults.
    via etds3
  • She had a diaper rash when sick? Well, we have already established that her digestive system isn't behaving normally. She's eating differently and she may well have a stomach ache from the virus. Her immune system is also busy dealing with this virus. Not
    via etds3
  • exactly surprising that she would break out in diaper rash in those conditions. Your baby was fussy when your wife picked her up? Your SICK baby was fussy?
    via etds3
  • How shocking. I used to say that maybe Mercury was in retrograde because my babies/kids got cranky for no discernible reason. They were ALWAYS cranky when sick.
    via etds3
  • Every single thing you're. describing is well within the normal range for a baby/toddler. Especially a sick baby/toddler. Your mom was reporting to you what was happening. She wasn't sneakily not feeding your kid: she was telling you that
    via etds3
  • she hadn't eaten or slept well. Finally, there is a high likelihood your baby would do better for you and your wife than your mom because you are her regular caretakers. But if you can't
    via etds3
  • take time off every single time she gets sick, then you are going to see the same patterns no matter who you leave her with. She's out of routine: she's gonna struggle napping and she's gonna be fussy. Add sickness to that and it's a
    via etds3
  • guarantee that she's gonnal struggle napping and be fussy. So unless you want to use all your PTO when your toddler gets 12 colds a year (average for that age) and
    via etds3
  • offend your mom in the process, I suggest you touch grass. There is no indication in anything you have said that suggests your mom did anything wrong. She tended a sick, fussy baby who acted like a sick, fussy baby.
    via etds3

  • It's easy to panic and want to blame everyone else that could possibly be involved when you are a new parent. It's not easy parenting! It's scary and emotional, and it doesn't matter how many books you read about it; it will always be a learn-on-the-job kind of experience. So these parents made a mistake, immediately blaming the grandmother for their sick baby. Hopefully, their question was answered online, and they can apologize to the granny and give her another chance to bond with her grandbaby when they're healthier. 

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family drama grandma parenting babysitting new parents family grandparents newborn grandmother
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