Boss criticizes 29-year-old employee's email "tone": 'At first I honestly thought he was joking'

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  • Boss has conversation with employee.
  • I've been working remotely for about a year now and overall the job is pretty relaxed.
  • Everyone communicates mostly through Slack and email, so it's not like we interact face to face much.
  • Last week my boss put a meeting on my calendar called "communication improvement discussion." Which already sounded a little ominous.
  • The meeting was at like 9:30 in the morning, so I figured it was probably about some project update or something I missed.
  • But when the meeting started he pulled up a few emails I had sent recently and said some people felt my tone was coming across "a little blunt." The emails he showed were literally things like: "Hi, can you send the updated file when you get a chance?" and "Just checking if there's an update on this." That was it.
  • At first I honestly thought he was joking. Those seem like completely normal work emails to me.
  • I wasn't being sarcastic or annoyed or anything, I was just asking for updates. Apparently a couple people interpreted them as passive aggressive.
  • Which confused me because I genuinely had no idea they sounded that way. Then he suggested I try adding more exclamation points or emojis so the tone feels friendlier.
  • So now I'm sitting there writing emails like "Hi!! Just checking in on this when you have a moment "which honestly feels kind of ridiculous.
  • I get that tone is harder to read through text when everyone's remote, but now I'm weirdly self-conscious about every message I send.
  • Like I'll type something normal and then sit there thinking "does this sound r_de somehow?" Remote work is strange sometimes.
  • Maybe I'm overthinking it but I didn't realize punctuation was such a big deal. EDIT: Me (M29)
  • Boss and employee have a chat in their office.

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