Ex-girlfriend stands her ground after cheating ex tries to use their shared dog to sneak a visit, realizing it's just a pattern to distract from his past lies: 'I'm so skeptical of him.'

We reserve a special place of disdain for people who involve their pets in their petty human disputes. Our dogs and cats did nothing wrong, and they should be kept out of our dirty laundry.

When we hear of another person who uses their dog as a tool of revenge, we lose another piece of faith in humanity. Especially if said person claims to care for the emotional state of another human being - in this case, an ex-girlfriend. Yes, it might not be such a revenge situation, but if we could read between the lines - and we always try to - we understand a very different picture than what this ex-boyfriend claims to present.

It's less "I'm bringing the dog over to make you happy", and more of "Remember that I have the dog? Remember that you don't have the dog? Also, I don't care what, or at least don't claim to care, about what an emotional rollercoaster the dog will experience if he sees you again, and then I essentially make you vanish from his life again. I'm such a good person, right?"

This hurts real bad, especially because the ex-girlfriend declined the "generous" offer for a visit, but mostly because of the past. Having a cheating ex-boyfriend suddenly trying to show care through the dog is a major red flag. We hope this dog is safer than the emotional turmoil his human papa is willing to put him through.

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A couple in bed, the woman is sound asleep, the man is scrolling through his phone and looking at the woman, making sure she's asleep.
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A happy dog with his tongue out, enjoying the outside air.
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A dog smiling to the camera, standing in a flowery field.
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A couple is in a fight, the man sitting with his phone, trying to prevent the woman behind him from peeking at the screen.
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We can't give relationship advice, but we know one thing - even if the “door” was open, in the form of emails still not being blocked off completely for the ex-boyfriend, using the dog as a nice “excuse” doesn't actually sound like a nice thing to do. Not for the ex-girlfriend raising concerns, and not for the dog. So no, we can't say we agree with this comment - the blame can't be placed on “mixed signals” or “open doors”. The situation is more complex than that, and bringing the dog into this mess isn't a wholesome or heartwarming deed to do.
What's the dog to blame? The poor pupper must be missing the original poster just as much, if not more than the ex-boyfriend. Did the guy think about the consequences of the dog seeing his ex-girlfriend, or did he just think of the implications of her seeing the dog? (even if he assessed incorrectly). Not considering the dog's feelings and emotions should tell you more about the person's character than any unresolved business this woman had with her ex.
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While we do think it's a good thing that this woman is aware of her patterns, of overreacting to her ex's “nice guy” attempts, as this comment puts it - we don't think said “nice guy” had only pure intentions, as this commenter assumes. While she describes her own patterns and behaviors with emotional awareness, she also describes his patterns of behavior very clearly. And they're definitely shouldn't be assumed pure, nice, or altruistic. Or at least they should be taken with a grain of salt.
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