29-year-old wife is tired of her same-age husband’s people-pleasing tendencies. 'No one sees the other side of the coin, where he’s completely bitter and resentful because he feels that he gives more than he gets.'

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  via Ben white

  A model kneeling down, representing the husband's people-pleasing tendencies

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  via sunnydays093

• Little is said about the negative intentions that sometimes motivate good actions; a person can be giving, loyal, and over-the-top helpful without somebody asking them to, and then use that against someone in an argument or lead a bitter life, secretly expecting everyone else to do the same for them. What I mean is that sometimes, someone is being helpful not because they want to, but because they want to get something in exchange.

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  via sunnydays093
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  via sunnydays093
• 
  via sunnydays093
• 
  via sunnydays093
• 
  via sunnydays093
• 
  via sunnydays093
• 
  via sunnydays093

• Considering that both characters in this story are relatively young, I think there is still a chance for either of them to evolve, but that would require a lot of self-awareness, analysis, and an active effort to become better, possibly resulting in a (still far from perfect) improved individual.

  Maybe the discussion to be had here is whether or not we’re able to accept our partners' petty flaws because we love our person as a whole, or the flaw we’re dealing with is so big that we would have to reconsider the entire relationship. The wife states later in the comments that her husband is in therapy for this, and that she and his therapist have pointed out the score-keeping, amongst other related attitudes, but ‘he just doesn’t get it’.

• It's up to her in the end, if she can handle this or if it ends up being the most pathetic turn-off ever, maybe he is just utterly unresponsive to therapy or constructive criticism; SOME people are, believe me. I bet that ring, today, looks more like a shackle.

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