30-year-old woman blocks male coworker for “being distant” after she stepped back to appease her jealous boyfriend, and still expected casual friendly office small talk: '[She] blocked me for respecting the distance she created'

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Mar 16, 2026 1:00 PM EDT

Workplace friendships really are wild sometimes. One minute, you are sharing fries after work, and the next, you are apparently the main character in someone else's relationship saga without even knowing it

This one has all the red flags, truly, all of them. A hyper jealous partner who has never met the alleged threat. A coworker who loves the attention of the friendship but also loves retelling how much trouble that friendship gets her into. Then, somehow, the guy who did absolutely nothing is the one she punishes for her own choices.

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  • Two colleagues reviewing a laptop and documents while standing in a modern office hallway.
    via Drazen Zigic

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • My Coworker Blocked Me on Everything for Respecting Her Relationship

    I'm a guy in my 30s working in education in LA. Some time ago, a female coworker (same age as me) invited me out with other colleagues. and we all became friends.
    via koolandtheblackbird
  • She'd mention that her boyfriend didn't like her hanging out with male coworkers. I'd suggest she invite him along, but she said he'd never want to join ―he just preferred she not spend time with us.
    via koolandtheblackbird
  • She'd vent, I'd give neutral advice like "I'm sure you two can work it out." Never suggested they break up, never made a move.
    via koolandtheblackbird
  • Eventually she ghosted the group chat and stopped coming to hangs. I respected it- stopped texting first, stopped talking to her unless she spoke to me first.
    via koolandtheblackbird
  • Months pass. At a work banquet she pulls me aside, says she misses being friends and feels I've been distant.
    via koolandtheblackbird
  • I lied and said I hadn't noticed. She then tells me her boyfriend went through her phone, saw a photo of me in her car (completely innocent), and blew up.
    via koolandtheblackbird
  • Two coworkers discussing data on a laptop during a meeting in a modern office while colleagues review charts in the background.
    via Gorynvd

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • She said he was right to be upset. Their relationship is still rocky almost two years later.
    via koolandtheblackbird
  • Then the twist: she said she blocked me on social media during that time- not because of him, but because \I\ stopped talking to her.
    via koolandtheblackbird

  • She is basically running two scripts at once. On one, she complains that her boyfriend hates her hanging out with male coworkers. On the other, she still keeps inviting those coworkers out and venting to them about it. She wants the social life and the sympathy, but not the accountability that comes with picking one lane.

  • I was tipsy and just said I didn't notice but appreciated her telling me. She joked that I don't have to change, just say hi at staff meetings.
    via koolandtheblackbird
  • So now I do. I'm polite if she initiates, but keep it strictly professional. We've never dated or flirted.
    via koolandtheblackbird

  • The math she does in her head is pretty impressive. She distances herself because her boyfriend is mad. The coworker quietly respects that and backs off. Months later, she is upset that he did exactly what her situation clearly required. In her mind, if she pulls away, he is supposed to chase. Since he did not, she decides the real problem is that he did not fight harder to stay in a friendship he was already being blamed for.

  • I have no interest in her romantically. Her boyfriend's never met me, so I only know her side.
    via koolandtheblackbird

  • Blocking him on everything is peak misplaced drama. Not to protect the relationship. Not as a boundary with her boyfriend. No. As a punishment for him respecting her boundary that she never communicated clearly in the first place. Then she circles back as if nothing happened with a casual just say hi in meetings now and acts as if that resolves it.

  • Just funny. She pulled away because of her relationship, got upset when I gave her space, then blocked me for respecting the distance she created.
    via koolandtheblackbird

  • It is the perfect example of how some people treat coworkers. Half friend, half emotional support character, half background extra in their relationship storyline. Meanwhile, he is just there trying not to get written up in someone else’s couple therapy recap while eating rubber chicken at a work banquet.

  • Anyone else been through this?
    via koolandtheblackbird
  • crackersucker2 She had a whole relationship with you in her head. You indifferently dodged a bullet.
    via koolandtheblackbird
  • koolandtheblackbird Original Poster's Reply Maybe I was an option for her to monkey branch and I (thankfully) didn't bite or pay attention.
    via koolandtheblackbird
  • PTBAFC24601 "More red flags than at a parade in China." Trying out a new metaphor What do you think?
    via koolandtheblackbird
  • koolandtheblackbird Original Poster's Reply That's tough, I like it lol
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  • crackersucker2 Pretty sure she would have either used your "interest" for drama with her man, or broken up with him. Either option is a huge NO. I find it hilarious she blocked you because you weren't bothering her
    via koolandtheblackbird
  • koolandtheblackbird Original Poster's Reply Seriously, that's the part that tripped me out. We used to talk all the time, but when she made distance I thought I was respecting a boundary because maybe she was going through something. She said she blocked me because "if you don't want to talk to me, fine, I'll make it easy for you." I'm thinking 'Did I not choose the most respectful option? What am I missing here, bro?' Lol
    via koolandtheblackbird
  • FishDispenser2 Sounds like she's in a toxic relationship, one one hand trying to please him while liking you too.
    via koolandtheblackbird
  • koolandtheblackbird Original Poster's Reply Could be true. And at the end of the day, she is choosing to be with this person. Hope the best for both os them.
    via koolandtheblackbird
  • myaccwasshut4norsn My Coworker Blocked Me on Everything for Respecting Her Relationship[] (https://www.reddit.com/r/coworkerstories/? f=flair_name%3A%22Ongoing%2FReal%20Time%22) I'm a guy in my 30s working in education in LA. Some time ago, a female coworker (same age as me) invited me out with other colleagues and we all became friends. She'd mention that her boyfriend didn't like her hanging out with male coworkers. I'd suggest she invite him along, but she said he'd never want to join ―he jus
    via koolandtheblackbird
  • koolandtheblackbird Original Poster's Reply Hahaha perfect response to the most redditor comment ever.
    via koolandtheblackbird
  • Past-Rip-3671 Basically OP you dodged, not a bullet, but a whole a cannon ball. She was hoping to have an affair with you and got mad when you didn't take the bait. Good for you, and I'd continue to keep it strictly professional with her. You never know when her hubby could turn up just to make sure.
    via koolandtheblackbird
  • koolandtheblackbird Original Poster's Reply My friends always joke that I am oblivious when someone is coming on to me. Fine, but it keeps me out of trouble I guess LOL
    via koolandtheblackbird
  • Character-Theory4454 did I just read?
    via koolandtheblackbird
  • koolandtheblackbird Original Poster's Reply LMAO at the person who copied and pasted XD
    via koolandtheblackbird
  • Palm TreeVoid If the guy is this toxic and jealous, you know that relationship is not gonna last either way.
    via koolandtheblackbird
  • koolandtheblackbird Original Poster's Reply To be honest, I don't think poorly of the guy. I think his biggest issue is fighting for someone who asks her coworkers if she should leave him every time they have an argument. I think self respect is more of his issue than insecurity. That's just me.
    via koolandtheblackbird
  • Get_Nice_69 Sounds crazy....don't dip your pen in the company ink!!
    via koolandtheblackbird
  • koolandtheblackbird Original Poster's Reply For sure, I even thought her asking me if she should leave him was too much.
    via koolandtheblackbird
  • koolandtheblackbird Original Poster's Reply Sheesh. Don't date a medical professional. Got it. Lol
    via koolandtheblackbird

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management workplace discussion employment issues workplace-stories hr coworkers relationships colleague red flag
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