Woman discovers her boyfriend secretly lost their shared savings on a fake investment, leaving her broke, paying rent alone, while raising their child: ‘I refuse to save him every time he does something stupid’

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  • Young woman sitting at a kitchen table, resting her head on her hands and looking worried beside a mug and phone.
  • My boyfriend blew our savings. (F32) (M34)

    I don't want to go into too much detail since he uses reddit but as the title says my(f32) boyfriend(m34) blew. our savings on a really dumb investment.
  • We've been together 6 years and have a 4 year old(m). So technically we got the money in the first place because of me, but because his name was on some papers and not mine it was given to him.
  • We agreed the money was not to be touched like at all. We need to move and that's what it would be used for.
  • I trusted him. At some point between when we got it and now he "invested" ALL of it.
  • Months ago. Thousands of dollars gone. He didn't say a word to me until now. He got hurt at work and hasn't been working.
  • We have a lot we need to do in order to move. I felt like he was just uninterested in trying to do anything.
  • I told him if that's the case we can just work on ourselves. He gave me a sob story where he slipped in that he didn't have the money anymore.
  • Young woman resting her chin on her hands at a table, looking wooried with a mug and smartphone in front of her.
  • Once I realized what he said. I stopped him and asked why he never said anything before.
  • He said he didn't know how to bring it up. Im actively searching for places thinking we have a good start of funds especially since hes not working right now.
  • I had no idea the money was gone. He has no back up plan. And is still gambling money away after many many conversations.
  • I truly don't think he cares about anyone other than himself. He was supposed to be covering rent.
  • He hasn't since before he got hurt. So a few weeks ago he asked me to pay all the back rent like 3 months worth.
  • I did only because I thought we had that money. Paying that messed up a lot of what I was working on I don't think he understands or cares.
  • He can't see this is not only about him. That we have a child to take care of.
  • I have my own stuff. That I refuse to save him every time he does something stupid.
  • This is not the first time. He has no money and can't work. I tried to have empathy for him.
  • That's why I've done all that I have. I have nothing left to give. When your partner falls you are supposed to be there to catch them but how much is too much?
  • I can't see him as nothing more than a liar. I can't trust him. I don't know how to move on.
  • I don't have time to save what I need again. I don't have family I can go to.
  • He will mostly likely give me myson. I will gladly allow that but I need a place for him too.
  • I have a month to figure everything out. My family will tell me I'm wrong for leaving him.
  • I don't think I am. How do I move on? I so much into this relationship.
  • BigBodied Bugati It's either leave him or do this forever. That's the choices. You choose.
  • Professional-Quail15 Original Poster's Reply It's the harsh truth I know. I needed to hear that. My own mother told me I'd be an idiot if I left him.
  • suzypoohsays 5 years from now, what do you want to be able to say? You did whatever you had to do to get away from a lying, manipulative and selfish "partner" or you thought about it and are now in unimaginable debt that you can't get out from under? You will be happy again if you leave, that's just a fact. You deserve better, also a fact.
  • Professional-Quail15 Original Poster's Reply I definitely want better. Thank you
  • throwawaymumm I had a partner I was with for 6yrs who lied about finances constantly. We were saving together and they stole the money TWICE! The second time I realized they were nothin it for us, but in it for them. A selfish narcissist of human sh. I can't thank myself enough for finally leaving and finding a way away from that person. Life is better without people bringing you down. I promise. You will never be able to look at him the same, as you shouldn't. Being lied to after this long toge
  • Professional-Quail15 Original Poster's Reply I say that to myself a lot "I am not his wife. I am not his mother. I don't have to go through this." Thank you for your story it's inspiring to me to know it can get better after this.
  • socaligirl-66 If he got hurt at work, he should be collecting Worker's Comp. Do you mean he's really gambling or an actual investment that was bad? Either way he's not a trustworthy person. And I'm shocked that your mother is actively sabotaging you and her grandchild's life.
  • Professional-Quail15 Original Poster's Reply Workers comp is 40% of what he would make. He said he had gotten only 2 checks that we're only $500. Eventually he will get a check with back pay so he says. When I say gambling I mean. gambling like sports betting. $20+ parlays multiple times a day. It all adds up in one day. The investment was bitcoin. I dont think she thinks I can make it on my own but I'm literally carrying the load of everything right now.
  • Ecstatic-Ad-5076 Um yeah leave him girl.. will you be able to financially recover from this by yourself with your kid? If not I would go to court formally even if he willingly gives you the kid full time, in this kind of situation there NEEDS to be a formal child support arrangement, and he might even be forced to pay you back some of the money he stole from you for his gambling
  • Professional-Quail15 Original Poster's Reply Eventually yes. I thought we were good and had moved past all the gambling and "investing". When he got hurt I had to step up and I had no issues with that thinking we still had thousands to fall back on. I've used most of my personal savings getting us back on track and keeping us on track not knowing the truth. I will definitely be going to court. I know this break up is going to be ugly. I have anxiety just thinking about it tbh.
  • Shelby_the_Turd Financial infidelity is sufficient grounds for ending a relationship. My wife and I will often confirm with each other when it comes to big purchases or investments. You can't trust him. There was another redditor here who left his girlfriend because she hid like $50k in debt from him and lied about it.
  • fourbutthick What the h I did he 'invest' in? I love those stories.
  • z-eldapin When your partner falls, yes, you catch them. When they jump, you don't.
  • HatsAndTopcoats My family will tell me I'm wrong for leaving him. Why?
  • Salt_Reputation_9864 Yeah I think this one is over, friend. It will get better

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