18-year-old triplets kindly adopt grandmother's cat, only for their cousin to show up a year and a half later claiming the cat is hers, threatening to call the police or steal him: 'She suddenly grabbed Tom'

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
Mar 29, 2026 8:45 AM EDT

Our cat's needs should always come first. 

It's difficult, in certain situations, especially when it comes to animals that you love, to think of what is best for them instead of for you. In breakups, for example, when there are cats involved, suddenly, there are custody battles over the cats. Both partners may want the cat, but ultimately, it's the cat who should choose who to go with. And cats do choose their humans. You cannot argue with them. They will run away from you and straight to their chosen one if you try, so you might as well listen from the get-go. 

Cats bond with their humans in ways that non-cat owners could never understand. They miss us when we're gone, they show their love for us in whatever ways they can, and breaking that bond will leave the cat a shell of what it used to be. That was the fear for the triplet cat owners in this story. Their grandmother's cat who was given to them after she could no longer take care of him bonded with them - truly and fiercely. So when their cousin showed up out of the blue, demanding the cat, because it was "legally" hers, that… created some problems. But the cat has to come first. 

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  • 01

    "[Am I wrong] for refusing to give a cat I've had for a year and a half back to his 'rightful' owner?"

    Picture of a cute cat napping on a sofa.
    via Unsplash / Tucker Good - tuckergood

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    cute crows hanging around in nature

    Picture of a cute cat napping on a sofa. 

  • 02
    I (18F) and my siblings (18F and 18F) have been taking care of our grandmother's cat, Tom, for around a year and a half since she has been unable to care for him. My grandmother used to live with us until she sadly had to be moved to a nursing. home and couldn't take him with her of course, so his custody naturally fell to us.
    via amy_ainsy
  • 03
    We have three other cats, so he is our 4th fur baby and they feel like my own children. Especially because I have a dis lity which causes me to be home a lot, so I am with them 24/7.
    via amy_ainsy
  • 04
    Now is when I should mention that my cousin, we'll call her Sally (24F) bought the cat as a gift for our grandmother. He never lived with Sally, but legally, he is her cat. So after a year and a half of him being in our care, Sally shows up out of the blue demanding we give him back to her. Now, Sally and I are not close at all, family drama that would be too much to dive into for this story has made our relationship very distant.
    via amy_ainsy
  • 05
    And initially when my grandmother moved into her nursing home, Sally did not contact us whatsoever about wanting Tom back. We are a very tight-knit family, so everyone knew about my grandmother's condition and how we were taking in Tom. Sally had to have known through her mom (my aunt) about what was happening. And again, I have to re-iterate that in the year and a half he has been in our care she never once asked about him or told us she was interested in taking him back.
    via amy_ainsy
  • 06
    So, Sally started texting my mom and my sister multiple times demanding for Tom back. We at first were asking her why she just now wanted him back and asked if we could talk about this more in depth before making a decision. However, despite our inquiries she didn't budge, with her only explanation being that he was "legally hers" and no other reasoning.
    via amy_ainsy
  • 07
    We were concerned about Tom living with her since she doesn't have good rep with pets, and Tom is also bonded to one of the other cats living with us, and I know bonded cats can become very distressed when separated. I will be the first to admit my sisters and I were being very defensive (that's our child), so we probably didn't help in calming the argument. Things got
    via amy_ainsy
  • 08
    more heated, and Sally texted me and I quote, "Do we want to involve police and ruin whatever this family is or?" So, suffice to say, this day was very rough. The argument ended with our dad saying that if she ever came around our house to take him, he would chase her off the property. None of us handled this in a very levelheaded way and I look back and wish I said things more rationally.
    via amy_ainsy
  • 09
    Later that week, my aunt showed up to our house pretending like she was only there to visit. Before she left, she suddenly grabbed Tom and said she needed to take him back to Sally. To try and not cause an even bigger fight, my sisters and I let him go even though we were all heartbroken.
    via amy_ainsy
  • 10
    We were very worried about him because Sally lives in a house with many dogs, and one dog that recently just had puppies, so we didn't know how safe Tom would be and if he would be getting properly taken care of. I fell into a very depressive state and a week later texted her asking for a photo of him to see how he was doing. Which went completely ignored and we never got any updates as to how he was.
    via amy_ainsy
  • 11
    About a month or two later (this time frame is very blurry I apologize but I was going through it lol) Sally randomly called my mom saying she was going to bring Tom back to us. I still don't know the exact reason why she decided this, we didn't want to question it in fear she would change her mind. I theorized that they had too many animals to take care of in her house. But I was so happy I honestly didn't even care why.
    via amy_ainsy
  • 12
    When we were finally reunited with Tom, he smelled horrible and was extremely on edge. Sally said that he had started meowing repeatedly right as she pulled into our driveway. We now have a (slightly) better relationship with Sally, but she never really asks about Tom.
    via amy_ainsy
  • 13
    This all happened around a year ago, and yesterday Sally came over to our house for some family business. She went looking for Tom and immediately went to pick him up, but he hissed in her face, jumped out of her arms, and hid under the table until she left. He NEVER hisses at anyone or anything, so this really shocked us but honestly seemed well deserved.
    via amy_ainsy
  • 14
    So, my question is, am I the ah le for refusing to give Sally her cat? I've thought about this situation over and over and I'm so afraid that we are the ah_les. All I want is for Tom to be safe and happy (he very much is now) And if we are the a h les I will fully admit to it and apologize to her, but I just felt so protective over him and thought he wouldn't properly be taken care of. Thank you all for reading :)
    via amy_ainsy
  • 15
    Picture of a colorful cat.
    via Unsplash / ahmet hamdi

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    cute crows hanging around in nature

    Picture of a colorful cat.

  • This is one messy situation, and we can truly see that, but we think that the cat has made the decision for all of you. The cat knows where he belongs, he knows who his humans are, and he knows who deserves to get hissed at- straight in their face. No matter what, you need to keep this cat with you, because you are now his home. If your cousin wants a cat so desperately, there are plenty looking for a home at all times, and one of them would be much happier with her than Tom ever could be.

  • 16
    EDIT: Just wanted to add that the main reason i wrote this post was not because of the legality of the issue, because even though Sally threatened police and court none of our family including her has the money to actually bring this issue to court.
    via amy_ainsy
  • 17
    The main reason we posted this is because everyone in our family (except our dad and one or two of our other cousins) said that we were causing rifts in the family, and that we just needed to give her the cat and move on. Honestly with how everyone was getting mad at us we felt like we were going CRAZYYY so it is so nice to see everyone agreeing with us bahaha
    via amy_ainsy
  • 18
    Picture of a cute cat playing.
    via Unsplash / Daria Glakteeva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    cute crows hanging around in nature

    Picture of a cute cat playing. 

  • We're glad that the internet agrees. If there is one thing that we can always count on when it comes to feline cat community is them taking the cat's side in every argument. As it should be. And honestly, we fully believe that Tom is in good hands. We can tell, straight from the screen, that in your home, he is loved and cared for. And we know that you would not let him go back to where he is not. 

  • 19
    aslrebecca Hello triplets. So, hypothetical question. When you buy a present for someone and give it to them, is it theirs to keep or is it always yours? Your cousin bought the cat for grams. That means it was a gift. It's not your cousin's cat, and never was. She bought it with the intention of gifting it. The moment she gifted it, the cat was not hers to demand.
    via amy_ainsy
  • 20
    imasupernatural My heart ached reading this, no your are not, Tom was traumatized. It sounds like he was neglected at that house, Don't let her near Tom!
    via amy_ainsy
  • 21
    CharKrat Tom never legally belonged to Sally. She got him and gave him to your grandmother. Your grandmother was the owner. And she gave Tom to you.
    via amy_ainsy
  • 22
    Picture of a white cat sleeping.
    via Unsplash / Noah Moquin - citrusthetoad

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    cute crows hanging around in nature

    Picture of a white cat sleeping.

  • 23
    WifeofBath 1984 Legally, she abandoned her cat. So no, he's not legally hers. NTA
    via amy_ainsy
  • 24
    Soft_Carpenter_2644 NTA. You've cared for Tom, and he's happy with you. His well-being is the priority
    via amy_ainsy

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