Mom gets 7-month-old daughter banned from daycare after being mean to male daycare worker

He has been an incredibly attentive caregiver, and this mom is discriminating against him just because he is a man.

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  • A group of small nursery school children with man teacher sitting on the floor indoors during a lesson
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Male daycare worker teaches children about counting

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy for telling my wife that she will be driving the extra distance since she is the one that got our daughter banned from daycare?

    My wife and I have had our first kid about 7 months ago. We are both back to work and our daughter (Kelly) has been going to a daycare by our house for a few months.
    via u/Unlucky-Jackfruit230
  • The daycare place is great, they send a lot of texts constantly. Things like what is happening that day, like bathroom, feeding, tummy time and so on.
    via u/Unlucky-Jackfruit230
  • Baby in green shirt lying on her stomach on pink and white striped bed
    via Hao Pan

    Baby lies on her stomach for tummy time, preventing the back of her head from getting flat.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • They all come from the same app but you can see which provider does what. This is where the issue started.
    via u/Unlucky-Jackfruit230
  • I always did drop off at the beginning (just easier for our schedules). One of the main workers is Sam.
    via u/Unlucky-Jackfruit230
  • My wife loved Sam, she always said that Sam was really informative about texts and any questions.
    via u/Unlucky-Jackfruit230
  • Sam only works the morning shift, and another employee was there when my wife picked up Kelly.
    via u/Unlucky-Jackfruit230
  • A group of small nursery school children with female teacher on floor in classroom playing
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A female daycare worker plays with blocks with toddlers.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Sam is man. Always been. About a month ago, my wife dropped off Kelly in the morning and learned Sam was a man and not a woman.
    via u/Unlucky-Jackfruit230
  • She was shocked and I was confused that she didn't realize. After that she became critical of everything Sam texted.
    via u/Unlucky-Jackfruit230
  • I told her to stop but she didn't listen and claimed she was protecting our kid.
    via u/Unlucky-Jackfruit230
  • Two week she did formal complaint against him for nothing. She complained about him not giving text messages.
    via u/Unlucky-Jackfruit230
  • We got called in and they told us they are not having Kelly anymore. That their staff is important to them and they don't tolerate this type of behavior.
    via u/Unlucky-Jackfruit230

  • If she was uncomfortable with a man taking care of her daughter, she should have plucked up the courage to talk to the daycare's director about it. She could've told the daycare director, "I don't care if Sam is doing a good job. I am not okay with him being the one to take care of my child when I'm not around because he is a man, and only because he is a man." The result very well might've been the same, with the daycare director telling her, “If you don't want Sam, then your child cannot receive care at this institution during the times she is scheduled to attend,” but at least everyone would've been on the same page without any untrue accusations flying around. There might've been a chance that the daycare director would've said, “We can accommodate you and your daughter so she only interacts with female staff members,” and this whole conflict could've been avoided. It would've been worth a shot to ask, but now she's banned and can't turn back time to make requests.

  • So our new daycare is the opposite side from my work. It would be an extra 45 mins for me to drop off our
    via u/Unlucky-Jackfruit230
  • My wife is only an extra 20 mins. I told her she needs to take our daughter to daycare and we got into an argument.
    via u/Unlucky-Jackfruit230
  • I told her this is here fault in the first place and she claims I am being unfair and she doens wish to change her morning schedule
    via u/Unlucky-Jackfruit230

  • It doesn't matter if she doesn't wish to change her morning schedule. Their daughter needs to go to daycare, and it's absurd for her husband to have to drive 45 extra minutes to drop her off at daycare when it only takes her 20 minutes to get there. Not to mention, this change in daycares is all her fault to begin with!

  • Spallanzani333 You're being way too chill about this. What she did is wrong. It's not overprotective, it's unhinged. She didn't even think of Sam as a human being. The hormonal effects and stress may have made her freak out internally, but she's an adult and should have been able to work through the emotions. Making the deliberate choice to lie about Sam and potentially get him. fired, that's not excusable or normal.
    via u/Spallanzani333
  • dutchie 1966 NTA. Your wife's schedule needs to change anyway as she has to fit in therapy as well.
    via u/dutchie1966
  • harristusc NTA thank goodness the employer protected Sam.
    via u/harristusc
  • International-Fee255 NTA As a childcare provider and someone who studied men in childcare (and of course, peoples opposition to it), your child wasn't at any more risk with Sam than a female childcare provider. Your wife has some issues she needs to deal with. And yes she should absolutely be doing the extra driving, she's the reason this all happened.
    via u/International-Fee255
  • Spallanzani333 NTA and I would be having serious second thoughts about being with her if this is how she is going to treat people. She straight up lied and could have gotten him fired. Men in education deal with so much sh as it is, they don't need to be stereotyped or mistreated because they're male. Having a baby doesn't give her the right to treat people that way.
    via u/Spallanzani333
  • dryadduinath nta. not only because she caused this, but because you would spend more than twice as long doing this than she would. i would be very angry about this if i were you. starting with her harassing someone just trying to do their job (and doing it very well, sounds like), with a detour through outdated and sexist ideas about who can care for children, and stopping firmly at how incredibly selfish it is to expect you to go so far out of your way because she doesn't want to change her sch
    via u/dryadduinath

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