Employee gets unjustifiably black-balled by the office mean girl after accidentally uno-reversing an insult, then they find a clever workaround to the office politics

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  • Women gossiping at their desks in the office.
  • I (25F) work at a very small start-up company. By very small, I mean there are only five employees in total, including me.
  • Because of the small size, getting along with my coworkers has been easy. We've all grown really close since we see each other every day, and
  • we even go out to bars together after work. Now, for the story. Late last week, I wore my hair in two braids to work. I wanted to
  • try a new style and felt really cute with them! When I arrived, my coworker Annie (27F&fake name) looked at me and said,
  • "Wow, I never realized how thin your hair is." When she said the comment, I wasn't hurt or offended. I've always had thin hair,
  • it's just how I was born. I replied back smiling saying "Yeah! You too? Twins!" Her reaction after I made the comment completely took me by surprise and shocked
  • me because she immediately said, "Go to h I." I was confused because Annie also has thin hair. She then proceeded to ignore
  • me the rest of the shift. Fast forward to today, Annie still has been completely avoiding me and seems to be
  • trying to get the rest of the office to turn against me. Because we're such a small team, my coworkers have been filling me in
  • Two female coworkers talking at their desks in the bullpen.
  • on what she's saying about me behind my back. I even learned that once our boss returns from vacation, she plans to report me for workplace bu ying.
  • My coworkers aren't into taking sides and I am not asking them to because this issue is between Annie and me. However, one of
  • them approached me today advising me to apologize, but I am not sure if I should. I don't feel bad for anything I did so that
  • is why I turned to this forum to see if I am the a_h_le. I am looking for advice on whether I should apologize or if there's a better way to handle this.
  • UPDATE: My boss doesn't come back until this Friday. If a meeting does happen I will share. Otherwise I assume Thursday (tomorrow) will go the
  • same as the rest of this week where Annie just continues to ignore me. Thanks for all the advice, I really appreciate it!
  • -Yes, I have tried speaking to Annie one on one again to discuss the issue but she has turned me down 5 times. She has told me
  • she doesn't feel comfortable talking to me without our boss present.
  • Businesswoman getting left out at the office.
  • -Yes, I did contact my boss (we are a small company so he is HR/CEO/etc). I told him. about the situation once I found out she was going to report me for workplace buying.
  • KNT-cepion Annie has thin skin to match her thin hair.
  • ParmReggie When your manager gets back, get in front of it before her. Tell them, "hey I just wanted to make you aware Annie is upset with me after (retell the
  • story). She has acted like she's been upset with me since. I didn't think anything of the conversation, because
  • she initiated the comment about me having thin hair and I was agreeing with her assumed she was relating to me." That
  • gets your story out there before her but demonstrates no ill-will on your part.
  • SleepyDeluxe NTA. When your boss comes back tell them you didn't realise she meant it in a derogatory way until she got offended when you said you were the same.
  • And now you're upset since you've never had a coworker try to bu y you like this before, and you're upset since it was malicious.
  • heatherjasper Pfft, she meant the "your hair is thin" to be an insult so when you said it back, she took it as one. NTA.
  • KeyRevolutio... So how she took it is how she meant it, as an insult. That's her own problem.
  • iaposky NTA she shouldn't be dishing out observations if she isn't ready to be observed.

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