Mom refuses to make a different dinner for her 15-year-old exchange student: 'When Brenna saw the meal provided, she was upset that it wasn't pasta.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Mar 22, 2026 8:00 PM EDT

Is it bratty to ask your host-mom to make you a specific meal after she's already cooked a different one for the rest of the family? 

Who among us didn't have a bratty moment or two during our teenage years? The brattiest moment of my teenage life had to be the morning I tried to refuse to go to SAT prep classes, even though my mom had already driven me there. I was coming from a sleepover where I had literally stayed up all night. By the time Saturday's 9 AM class rolled around, I was in no position to be in any academic environment. When we got to the center, I told my mom I wasn't going in, but she wouldn't take no for an answer. I tried and tried to stay in the car, but eventually I got out and attended the class, even though I was running on zero hours of sleep. 

Teenagers aren't always the best at being grateful for what they have. I should've been thanking my mom for even caring about my future enough to pay for SAT prep classes, but I was clearly not mature enough to take that into account. I was tired, and I wanted to throw a fit, and that's exactly what I did! You can't claim this isn't typical teenage behavior, but you can resist giving in to it and letting teens get their way when they make unreasonable demands. The host mom in this story knew not to give in.

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  • Young woman sitting at a table looking away
    via Alireza heidarpour

    A mopey teenage girl is sitting at the dinner table, waiting for her food to arrive. 

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy for not making a separate meal for my homestay student?

    I (38F) am a homestay mom to "Brenna" (15F). Brenna had an evening practice, and she came home at 7pm.
    via u/grapejuice14-
  • Our family had already eaten, so I had put a plate of food in the microwave for her to heat up.
    via u/grapejuice14-
  • When Brenna saw the meal provided, she was upset that it wasn't pasta - she likes to have pasta after practice.
    via u/grapejuice14-
  • Spaghetti and meatballs with basil garnish shot close up
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A delicious-looking plate of spaghetti and meatballs, which Breana doesn't get to eat. 

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I told her that that we had something different for supper, but if she wanted to make herself some pasta there was a box in the pantry.
    via u/grapejuice14-
  • Brenna didn't like that response at all. She said "Well I don't get why you couldn't have made it for me in the first place".
    via u/grapejuice14-
  • I told Brenna that I'm not a short order cook, if she wants pasta after practice she needs to tell me ahead of time and I'll take it into consideration.
    via u/grapejuice14-
  • She got all huffy and started mumbling about how she was going to starve, I told her to be grateful that I cooked for her, and we got into a huge disagreement about it.
    via u/grapejuice14-
  • AITA for not making a separate meal for my homestay student?
    via u/grapejuice14-
  • Regular-Message9591 What's a homestay student?
    via u/Regular-Message9591
  • grapejuice14- Original Poster's Reply A host family, similar to exchange students. Brenna is an athlete, so she lives with me to participate in a particular sport/attend school here because we have a large program for her sport.
    via u/grapejuice14-
  • herewegoagain_2500 OP is getting good money to host the student. Note how they have yet to answer all the comments asking if they get paid. This is a business and OP is essentially running a boarding house with one guest.
    via u/herewegoagain_2500
  • grapejuice14- Original Poster's Reply I am getting paid
    via u/grapejuice14-
  • MxMirdan INFO. How long has she been staying with you, what has been communicated to her previously about household meal planning expectations and food availability? Is this bratty reaction in character for her or not? It seems likely that this is a N. TA, but if this is an uncharacteristic reaction from her, it could point to some other issue that you should be attending to. Also, does she know how to cook pasta herself?
    via u/MxMirdan
  • grapejuice14- Original Poster's Reply She rolls her eyes at me sometimes, but her reaction last night was much more intense than that. Typically she's more sullen than bratty though. Has been with me for almost a year now. I've told her before that I grocery shop on Sundays so if she wants or needs something specific let me know, and she can help herself to anything in the fridge/make food if she wishes. ETA: She didn't mention pasta at all until she got home and saw chicken and potatoes
    via u/grapejuice14-
  • DangerLime113 If she's not normally like this, she could have had a bad day or bad practice. Sounds like she's a teen girl under even more pressure than normal and separated from family on top of that. Definitely NTA, but it might be worth having a chat with her about making a big pot of pasta ahead of time that can be in the fridge for her to have available to heat up with sauce or butter and parm, whatever she prefers. It's easy for her to do that but giving her some meal prep advice would be
    via u/DangerLime113
  • grapejuice14- Original Poster's Reply I tell her that she can give me an idea on Sundays when I grocery shop about her schedule/what she needs for the week. She didn't ask for pasta this week though, didn't menton it until she got home and saw chicken and potatoes instead
    via u/grapejuice14-
  • K_Knoodle13 Info: how long has she been with you? And away from her family? How often does she see or talk to them? Were her comments a bit bratty? Sure. But she's a child who is away from home, living in a stranger's house. She probably feels lonely. Alone. Maybe homesick. Unsure of how she fits in, or what the rules are. You're not obligated to make her special meals everyday but I think some empathy for her is a bare minimum.
    via u/K_Knoodle13
  • grapejuice14- Original Poster's Reply She's been with me for nearly a year, and goes home during school/sport breaks. She calls them a few nights of the week, and texts them frequently
    via u/grapejuice14-
  • OrindaSarnia Does she normally ask for pasta?
    via u/OrindaSarnia
  • grapejuice14- Original Poster's Reply Often. But she asks for rice bowls (rice, broccoli, chicken, peppers, etc.) the most. This week she didn't ask for anything specific
    via u/grapejuice14-
  • nosyroseyposey What is a homestay student? Is this a child you tutor or homeschool & take care of meals like a nanny?
    via u/nosyroseyposey
  • grapejuice14- Original Poster's Reply Like a host family. She doesn't live locally, and our area has an amazing program for the sport she plays so she lives with - me/attends school here so she can be apart of that program
    via u/grapejuice14-
  • OrindaSarnia Why are you hosting her? Do you have your own children who are also in the sport? Or how did you get started doing this?
    via u/OrindaSarnia
  • grapejuice14- Original Poster's Reply I love the sport she's in and wanted to give back
    via u/grapejuice14-
  • Female lacrosse players playing a game of lacrosse
    via Jeffrey F Lin

    Girls playing lacrosse, which could be the sport that Breana plays. Who's to say?

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • deathschlager What was the dinner?
    via u/deathschlager
  • grapejuice14- Original Poster's Reply Chicken and potatoes. She eats this meal without complaint usually
    via u/grapejuice14-

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sports chicken cooking teenagers pasta parenting dinner host food mom
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