Rich in-laws force daughter-in-law to enroll her kids in expensive private school, while living in a good public school district: 'I grew up very, very middle class.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Mar 24, 2026 12:00 PM EDT

She doesn't need to keep up with the Joneses to make her kids happy.

Have you ever heard of rich families claiming that they're "living paycheck to paycheck," and wondered how that could be? Rich families say this because, after paying their bills, maxing out their retirement accounts, buying their kids new clothes, going out to eat multiple times a week, and going on vacation, they don't have any money left over. That is clearly not what "living paycheck to paycheck" actually means. If you live paycheck to paycheck, you don't eat if you miss a single payday. It doesn't mean that you blow all of your money on things you don't need, leaving you with no more money to buy more things you don't need. 

Many families with high incomes get into a lot of debt because they can technically afford the monthly payments, even though it's not the most financially responsible choice. They feel pressured to do so because all of the other rich families in their area maintain a certain lifestyle, so they feel like they have to do the same. Even if you're making a ton of money, there's nobody forcing you to live in the most expensive house or buy an expensive luxury car, just because other people who are making as much as you are doing that.

The mom in this story was raised middle-class, but her husband comes from money. After being pressured by her in-laws into sending her kids to private school, she wants to know how she can prevent her kids from becoming spoiled brats. 

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  • Young private school student wearing a uniform writing on a chalkboard
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    A private school student writes on a chalkboard with chalk.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • My kids are surrounded by wealth and I’m worried they’re going to grow up to be super entitled. What can I do to prevent them from becoming spoiled brats?

    Just need somewhere to vent. For context, my husband makes close to seven figures. He's a nepo baby in his own right in that his family has a LOT of $$ and he never really had to work hard for anything.
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  • We live in a neighborhood surrounded by McMansions and I won't say exactly where for privacy reasons but it's similar and close to the Pacific Palisades.
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  • Pacific Ocean fading into the sky, atop Santa Monica Mountains
    via Dhoomil Sheta

    Pacific Ocean fading into the sky, atop the Santa Monica Mountains.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • On top of that, my in laws pressured us (me) to put our kids in private school.
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  • All their kids went to private school and now all of them send their own kids to private school as well, despite living in a phenomenal school district.
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  • My in laws even offered to PAY for my twins' tuition. I cannot begin to imagine the pretentious attitudes that we'd experience sending our kids to the private school in this town.
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  • I drive by during pick up and the car line is full of luxury SUVs. I grew up very, very middle class.
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  • Closer to lower middle class. My parents were always stressed about money and made it known to us.
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  • Our house was in a nice area but tiny and they couldn't afford to fix a lot of things.
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  • Blue house beside tree
    via Ross Sneddon

    A humble blue house beside a tree. 

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • We didn't really go on vacations. We certainly didn't go to private schools. We had to work for everything.
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  • My siblings and I are down to earth people and this lifestyle I've married into is anything but.
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  • My dream is to live in a chill neighborhood with normal houses and kids playing outside.
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  • Instead I'm being pressured to have a bigger house, more updates, send my kids to a bougie private school, and live in a neighborhood with stuck up people in massive homes.
    via u/Individual_Ad_938
  • I know this probably sounds so tone deaf as most people are genuinely struggling in this economy, but let me tell you money is not everything and I'm terrified about my kids growing up this way.
    via u/Individual_Ad_938
  • I'm trying to keep them humble and kind but I know it's going to become increasingly hard if their peer groups are not.
    via u/Individual_Ad_938
  • SnarkyPickles Did you know your husband's family's financial situation when you got married? Did you two discuss how you would want to raise future children prior to marriage?
    via u/SnarkyPickles
  • Individual_Ad_938 Original Poster's Reply Yes I did. But tbh, because of my upbringing I was excited by it at first. Marrying rich seems pretty ideal for most people, I think. It was only once our kids became school age that I started paying attention to the lifestyle of the kids in our community more. I also started becoming more anxious about how they'd grow up. My local subreddit worries me even more.
    via u/Individual_Ad_938
  • adversaries_ I say this as someone in the same general income bracket: this feels really misplaced. This reads less like concern for your kids and more like discomfort with the environment you have chosen to be in. You seem hyper focused on things kids genuinely do not even notice. Luxury SUVs in a pickup line? That is not shaping your children's character. You are. I can assure you that my kids don't give a rat's behind that they get picked up in an Escalade. It's covered in Cheeto dust like ev
    via u/adversaries_
  • Individual_Ad_938 Original Poster's Reply I don't necessarily agree with you that kids are solely influenced by your parenting. The luxury SUVs in the pickup line symbolize something deeper. It's not just about the cars themselves but the money attached to them. Sure, people with money can be down to earth, but the general vibe I get over here is that that's not the case. If my kids are going to school with kids who are being raised by shallow people, that's going to rub off on those kids and in
    via u/Individual_Ad_938
  • adversaries_ I never said kids are shaped solely by parenting, but you are making just as broad of a generalization in the other direction assuming that luxury cars symbolize entitlement, or that wealth automatically equals shallow or snooty people, is just as reductive as what you're pushing back against. Most families in those environments are simply fortunate, not morally deficient. I think that is where the disconnect is. You seem to be assigning a moral judgment to an entire group of people
    via u/adversaries_
  • Individual_Ad_938 Original Poster's Reply I mean, I stated that I was venting, which isn't uncommon in this sub. It's also nice to do here when you can't really do it IRL. Lots of commenters have also given me solid advice and reassurance.
    via u/Individual_Ad_938
  • BlackSheepBoPeep- Exposure exposure exposure. I am not in the same boat in the least bit but it's all relative. I would suggest trying to expose AND INTERACT with as many diverse groups, not just based on finances, as you can. Take them to food pantries and soup kitchens to volunteer around the holidays, make exceptionally large batches of meals and bring them with you to give to local families (or if there are none that you know, pass them out to homeless people). You can encourage small acts o
    via u/BlackSheepBoPeep-
  • Puzzled-Library-4543 Hey so are you guys adopting by any chance
    via u/Puzzled-Library-4543
  • AlternativeGreen6400 I think you should take advantage of the money to benefit your children. Experience different cultures, help out animal shelters around the holidays, it's about how you raise them not what they have.
    via u/AlternativeGreen6400
  • KSouphanousinphone This does not seem like a problem that needs to be crowdsourced. And what do you mean that your in-laws "pressured" you into private schooling? Exercise your parental authority if you're so worried about them attending there.
    via u/KSouphanousinphone
  • BoogieBoo You're right, this is tone deaf.
    via u/BoogieBoo

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daughter in law middle class kids public school private school parenting rich people money spoiled entitled people
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