Traveler requests $224 in Uber fees from her 37-year-old friend after their vacation, leading to confusion

Despite being friends for 20 years, this man realized that his 2 friends were overcharging him for vacation Uber fees. 

Friendships change over time, but oftentimes, we know how our friends are with money. 

Some friends will be super responsible, spending responsibly and paying people back ASAP. 

Others do things like losing their wallet 3 times a year, "forgetting" to Venmo the people who bought dinner, and whining about being broke all the time.

It's not that you don't love your friends, but you know deep in your heart, which of your friends are financially responsible and which friends you need to keep a sharp eye on. 

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  • Cherry blossoms and mountain in Japan.
    via Spenser Sembrat

    Cherry blossoms and mountain in Japan.

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • This 37-year-old has been friends with this woman for 20 years, so he should know how she acts with money.

    But… I admit that “Uber math” can get complicated. For example: you and 2 friends get in a shared Uber. They're dropping you off after a few miles, and then they're each going a few miles more together. One person is paying already. So how much should they ask the other 2 people to pay? Do you pay per mile, per stop, or just guesstimate how much each person pays based on vibes alone? And don't forget that you have to tip your Uber drivers, so add that onto the Venmo request, too. 

    Okay so that scenario gets multiplied by, like, a dozen trips, maybe more, over a vacation with 3 people. You can only imagine how confusing this will all get! 

  • I (37M) just got back from a 2- week trip to Japan with my best friend of 20 years & her husband.
    via General_Photograph21
  • During the trip, we took a lot of Ubers. After we got back, she texted me asking for $224 for my share of the Ubers.
    via General_Photograph21
  • That number immediately felt off to me- even estimating high there's no way our total Ubers should've been that high between three people.
    via General_Photograph21
  • Two friends take an iPad selfie in the backseat of their Uber while on their vacation.
    via Curated Lifestyle

    Two friends take an iPad selfie in the backseat of their Uber while on their vacation.

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • I asked her how she got that number and asked to see receipts (she mentioned in previous messages | could see them if I wanted to) She didn't really answer the question and avoided responding for a while.
    via General_Photograph21
  • When we finally talked she explained that she asked other people and they told her that she and her husband should count as "one," and I should count as "two," so the rides were split two ways instead of three.
    via General_Photograph21
  • That made zero sense to me. There were three adults in every Uber so I feel like it should be split three ways, regardless of relationship status.
    via General_Photograph21
  • At that point I was already frustrated with the lack of communication, so I just sent her the full $224 and said something along the lines of "let's just move on." She then sent the money back to me.
    via General_Photograph21
  • She also still owes me about $80 from the trip that she hasn't paid back. We've never had issues like this before, which is why it caught me off guard.
    via General_Photograph21
  • I even went to talk to her in person because she was avoiding me over text.
    via General_Photograph21
  • Now things feel awkward and I'm not sure if I'm overreacting or if her expectation was actually unreasonable.
    via General_Photograph21
  • HALLPPPP
    via General_Photograph21

  • In friendships, as in life generally, being a generous person pays off. Tipping extra makes you a welcomed regular. Getting thoughtful birthday gifts for your loved ones makes them think highly of you. And, in this case, paying extra in order to maintain peace in a friendship will probably save this friendship.

    Because it's clear that for some reason, this woman is thinking differently about money than her friend is. Why is she being so weird about these payments? Just because she and her husband are a couple doesn't mean they're one singular person. It's a strange way to look at payments, right? What if that husband was just another person in their group? Then he'd obviously be paying his own way. 

    Instead of just paying ⅔ of a trip that they were ⅔ of, they're trying to pay half, and I wouldn't blame this person for being annoyed about it. Their friend might not budge on the issue, and if they want to save the friendship, they might have to give in and pay extra. 

    But he'll be sure to think carefully about traveling with these people next time. Maybe that woman should leave her husband at home, if he's causing so many issues. You can't travel with every friend. Some people are too chaotic. Instead, he'll just have to settle for smaller nights out, or maybe a movie night at home, in order to avoid the money issue again. 

  • Driver in Japan steers through busy streets.
    via Getty Images

    Driver in Japan steers through busy streets.

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • It does get tiring!

    babbsela I used to have a friend couple who pulled things like this. We'd go out in a group, and we'd each take turns buying rounds. They would only buy one round because they were "one" couple. Stopped hanging out with them because I got tired of them not paying their share.
    via General_Photograph21
  • JadieJang I think there's a misunderstanding here. If you're in your home city and you split a ride home with a couple, then you should split it in half BECAUSE THE CAR MAKES TWO STOPS. And if the couple took an Uber by themselves, it would cost the same as if one person took an Uber by themselves. But you all were traveling together and, presumably, staying in the same hotels/hostels. So each of you was a separate body, traveling in the same direction. So yes, everything should've been split th
    via General_Photograph21
  • General Photograph21 Original Poster's Reply Yeah we split absolutely everything else 3 ways. When she brought up the $224 she mentioned the 2 bottles of water she bought for me
    via General_Photograph21
  • Jodenaje Why did you send her $224 if she still owes you $80? I wouldn't have sent a penny over $144. (I think still would have pushed back on the 2 way split, but regardless I would have deducted the $80 from what I sent!)
    via General_Photograph21
  • General Photograph21 Original Poster's Reply Because it was just easier to send her that and ask to move on because I value the friendship more than any amount of money. That makes one of us, I guess.
    via General_Photograph21
  • Zuumbat Ooooooh that's a good point and makes total sense.
    via General_Photograph21
  • General Photograph21 Original Poster's Reply Y'all she literally said to me "I asked 10 people and 9/10 think I'm right about splitting it two ways"
    via General_Photograph21
  • dazymanatee That's ridiculous, NTA.. and she knows it which is why she was avoiding answering you for a while.
    via General_Photograph21
  • Accomplished_Pea6334 Lol. Nope. NTA Ask her if an airline or bus or train charges them separately or together...
    via General_Photograph21
  • No-Fail-9327 NTA. She's being ridiculous and she knows it which is why she sent back the money and was dodging your questions
    via General_Photograph21

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