23-year-old making $83k complains about paying her older sister $600 for rent, gets told to live elsewhere: ‘I don’t want to be her crutch anymore'

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Apr 16, 2026 2:00 PM EDT

At 23, it's about time she took the training wheels off. 

This young woman graduated from college with no real plan, but she didn't exactly need to have all of her ducks in a row because she had the perfect fallback: her family. With parents who would happily invite her back home rent-free and not interested in getting her career started right away, this young woman spent a year gladly freeloading. However, when she tried to pull the same trick on her older sister, she found that it wouldn't be so easy to skate along anymore.

Older siblings often have a harder time getting on their feet in the world. Although their parents give them the responsibilities and the skills to be independent, oftentimes, parents are very focused on showering their youngest child with gifts and fortunes instead, leaving the "more responsible" child to fend for themselves. 

As the independent child in my family, I found that when I reached adulthood, I was more capable of handling life's curves and twists better than my sister, but still envied the fact that she always had it easier than I did. Because of my independence, I was punished with less parental attention and less assistance, because, according to them, I didn't need it. Similarly, the parents in this next story believed that their oldest daughter had it all together, focusing their attention and affections instead on the youngest and enabling an entitled attitude. 

But that turned this younger sibling into a bit of a brat, as she expected everyone in her family to prop her up and carry her along in life. She was banking on the fact that her older sister would let her move in rent-free, but even after landing a job making over $80k per year, she hemmed and hawed when the older sister asked that she contribute rent money… A meager $600, which is chump change in the big city.

This attitude of entitlement earned this young woman a one-way ticket to forced independence because her older sister refused to be her fallback plan. If she wanted to stay somewhere rent-free and have all of her bills paid, she'd have to go crawling to mom and dad in the small town they grew up in. 

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  • Cheezburger Image 10623277312
    via Canva+ (Minerva Studios)

    (Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.)

  • I don’t [want to] let my sister move back in with me

    My sister (23f) has lived with my husband, toddler, and me (33f) every summer she was in college.
    via Whirlywynd
  • We didn't charge rent and covered everything. She eats a ton and uses a lot of water, so it cost us about $2,000 each summer.
    via Whirlywynd
  • After graduating, she moved back in with my parents in our tiny hometown (population 600), about 15 hours away.
    via Whirlywynd
  • She lived there jobless and expense free for 8 months, then got a job 10 minutes from my house (she says it's coincidence, but I know she used my address) and asked to move in again.
    via Whirlywynd
  • We said yes, but she'd pay rent and buy her own food outside shared dinners. She agreed, but seemed annoyed.
    via Whirlywynd
  • She makes $83k. My parents still cover her insurance, phone, etc, so her only real expenses are $600 rent, $700 student loans, and food.
    via Whirlywynd
  • Young college girl getting her first job after finishing school.
    via Canva+ (Minerva Studios)

    (Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.)

  • My issue is her attitude. She acts entitled to cheap/free because "things are more expensive now," like we should be her crutch because we're more established.
    via Whirlywynd
  • Meanwhile my husband and I worked two jobs when we moved here and never had help the way she does.
    via Whirlywynd
  • He now has a stressful, long hours job and is the main breadwinner while I stay home with our toddler (I work part time).
    via Whirlywynd
  • Her job is remote/hybrid, and she probably works 25-30 hours a week. The rest of her time is the gym, reading, learning a language.
    via Whirlywynd
  • She cleans up after herself but only unloads the dishwasher or takes out recycling without being asked.
    via Whirlywynd
  • I get the sense she thinks I can handle everything because I "don't have a job." She's even asked me to schedule appointments for her and gets annoyed when I say no.
    via Whirlywynd
  • Cheezburger Image 10623277568
    via Pexels (Yan Krukao)

    (Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.)

  • She constantly complains about being tired and stressed, and I'm just over it. Now she says she's quitting her job ("everyone there is dumb") to teach English abroad for a year.
    via Whirlywynd
  • It'll just cover her living expenses. I get that she's young and wants the experience, but I also know she'll come back jobless and expect to move in again.
    via Whirlywynd
  • She refuses to consider temporary work outside her field (besides teaching English, apparently). I don't want her to.
    via Whirlywynd
  • want privacy with my husband and daughter, one less person to support, and I don't want the attitude in my home.
    via Whirlywynd
  • She's mostly pleasant, but if I set a boundary she shuts down and pouts for days.
    via Whirlywynd
  • She has no real long-term plan. I don't want to be her crutch anymore. I think she's old enough to figure things out.
    via Whirlywynd
  • The complication is my mom worries about her being in a bigger city and will likely see this as me abandoning her.
    via Whirlywynd
  • My sister will be hurt, and my mom will act like I'm putting her in danger.
    via Whirlywynd
  • But she'll be nearly 25. At some pointl think she needs to grow up. I wanted to help, but I'm starting to feel taken advantage of.
    via Whirlywynd
  • MaeSilver909 Your sister was making 83k a year and needs financial assistance? Don't have her move back in. She needs some life experience on how to be a grown up. NTA
    via MaeSilver909
  • Mtn Moose307 Your sister's a grown woman. She needs to figure out what's she going to do without mooching off you.
    via Mtn Moose307
  • Lexubex NTA. I started paying my parents rent when I got a full time job working at $38k in 2016. $600 a month plus buy groceries for herself is a generously low amount of rent that will allow her to save up money toward getting her own place. I think you and your mom need to have a chat with her about making longer term plans. Living with you can be a short term plan as long as she keeps her job and pays for what was agreed upon, and then she can save up to find her own place to rent.
    via Lexubex
  • OP Whirlywynd That was the reason for her rent being lower. We wanted her to be able save faster (and move out sooner). Her rent is set up to rise $200 every year to encourage her to leave eventually. She felt that was unreasonable. Her rent increase doesn't even keep up with our home insurance/property tax increases every year. Imo we're being so reasonable in her favor and the fact she doesn't see that/complains about it is just building resentment for me. We're secure but not bathing in money
    via Whirlywynd
  • KandyGirl477 What is the issue here? Are you asking if you would hypothetically be the a hole if she hypothetically moved out and you hypothetically don't let her move back into your home should she hypothetically desire to at some point in the distant future?
    via KandyGirl477
  • OP Whirlywynd She IS moving out and I know her so well that I'd bet my life she asks to move back in a year from now unless I sit down with her and explain that if she leaves she's not moving back in.
    via Whirlywynd
  • celticmusebooks OK a bit confusing. Your sister is VOLUNTARILY quitting a well paid job to take another job and going abroad. So she's moving out and leaving the country for a year. When she comes back she'll need to find another place to live or move back in with your parents. I'm not seeing a problem here.
    via celticmusebooks
  • TararaBoomDA She got a job 10 minutes from your house and used that as an excuse to move back in and take advantage of you. Now she's quitting her job, and I wager she won't bother to go teach English overseas because it's so much easier to continue taking advantage of you. Time to have a come-to-Jesus meeting with her. Kick her out: she is now responsible to find her own place, to cook her own meals, and to take care of all her own needs. If you keep letting her take advantage of you, you're be
    via TararaBoomDA
  • Lizwings NTA. She's using you. She's never been on her own without a safety net. So she should definitely get that experience so she can learn to appreciate all that you and your family have done for her! Let her move out to live abroad, and then do not let her move back in again. You deserve to have your house to yourself!
    via Lizwings
  • RedYamOnthego NTA. It's going to be so easy. While she's living abroad, do something with her room. Get a boarder, turn it into a craft room, have a baby, make it a man cave. When she comes back, voila! No space for her. Point her to the "for rent" section of the internet, and let her figure it out.
    via RedYamOnthego
  • m33chm NTA. She is an adult. Time for her to act like one. Before I got to the part about her taking a job abroad for a year I was going to suggest telling her she has two months to find herself an apartment and move out. Absolutely wild for her to treat you like her maid and assistant. Bye.
    via m33chm

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