31-year-old woman charges friend $800 for leaving her stranded at a wedding 4 hours from home with no car

Would you accept an $800 Venmo request from your friend?

Some friendships are just going to be toxic. They can't help but be. Whatever your relationship dynamic is, it's wrong, and there's not a whole lot you can do about it. All you can do is step away when it's not serving you, and let's be honest, it rarely serves you. But sometimes you just can't back away. You just can't help but stay entangled in the situation. Something about it is a little bit addictive to you. You like the uncertainty of it, and you thrive on the sense of danger. Or maybe you've been friends for so long that you've lost sight of the argument, and you just keep backsliding into the same types of arguments, and neither of you realizes what's going on until it's too late. That's what happened here. 

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  • A woman is stranded by the side of the road and is on the phone
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I in the wrong for charging my friend $800 after she left me 4 hours from home?

    Becky (31F) and I (31F) have been best friends for 20 years. In high school, we became close with Ryan and Daniel, and the four of us did everything together. Becky has always been fixated on Ryan. If he liked a girl, she would tear her apart or make passive aggressive comments until it was uncomfortable. When he had girlfriends, she would openly criticize them and act like they weren't good enough for him.
    via werminthewalls
  • Eventually, she started doing the same thing to me. She would make comments to downplay my friendship with Ryan or subtly compare us, like she needed to prove she mattered more. It felt competitive for no reason, but I ignored it for years. Fast forward to Ryan's wedding last month. Becky and I drove together and shared a hotel. The passive aggressive comments started again. She said I would
    via werminthewalls
  • not even be at the wedding if it was not for her, even saying things like that in front of other people. Later, in the hotel, she complained that Ryan did not spend enough time with her. She actually said, "Sorry to you and Daniel, but he should at least want to spend time with me."
    via werminthewalls
  • After years of this, I snapped and said, "What a weird thing to say out loud." She immediately escalated and said, "Oh what? You really think that Ryan and I aren't better friends?" and brought up that he asked her to help design the engagement ring.
    via werminthewalls
  • I said, "I don't care who's closer, but it's weird that you care this much. It's not our fault you're in love with him." She stormed out and, instead of coming back, she drove off and left me stranded four hours away with no way to get back. The next morning I couldn't rent a car because I only had a debit card, so my only option was a same day flight back to where I live across the country, which cost $800.
    via werminthewalls
  • I sent her an angry text and a Venmo request. She hasn't responded and we haven't spoken in a month. I'll admit saying she's in love with him was harsh, and the text I sent after was not my best moment. We're supposed to talk tomorrow. AITA?
    via werminthewalls

  • Commenters gave their two cents on this complicated story.

    Trick_Few NTA Ditching your friend without a way home is a safety issue. You had every right to be upset, especially when that came with a $800 plane ticket. I wouldn't say she's a friend anymore.
    via Trick_Few
  • A young woman on a plane puts her head in her hands
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Money and friendship are never a good thing to mix. You should try to keep them separate as much as you can. But things are bound to come up when you're sharing a life together. Maybe you go on a trip, maybe you go out to dinner, whatever it is, you're paying for stuff and probably trying to figure out how to split things evenly. I find that it's much better if you have an open heart toward sharing, and not one that is always keeping track of the bill. If you do your part and they do theirs, things have a way of coming out in the wash. But that requires a level of trust that is not always accessible. Sometimes you need to hunt people down for their fair share, and there's no fun in that. It can even ruin friendships, like it threatened to do to this one. After a long relationship full of unpleasantness, this pair of friends finally came to a tough crossroads. After a fight, one of them abandoned the other with no way to get home. So they took it out on them and wanted them to fit the bill. Keep scrolling to see if you think this was reasonable.

  • Riker_Omega_Th... NTA But real talk...you can't go through life with only a debit card You need to get a credit card and start working on your credit score
    via Riker_Omega_Th
  • Get a basic card...one with a 500 limit Put a single tank of gas on it every month. Pay it off every month til they increase your credit limit Then just keep putting that single tank of gas on it and now you have an emergency credit card
    via Riker_Omega_Th
  • AvailableBuilder4... Unfortunately you will never get money from her and I doubt you would win in small claims court best to move on and go no contact with her Nta
    via AvailableBuilder4
  • Thismarno NTA and you aren't friends (haven't been for a long time). She needed to hear that you should have said - it years ago and found some better friends!
    via Thismarno
  • S... ESH You kept a toxic plant beside you for two decades, watched it spew unjust venom to other women and yourself and still decided to keep and call this person your best friend?
    via SaltBeefin
  • You decided your final straw after 20 years was snapping at her during someone else's wedding whilst you were stranded? Also after the age of 30 travels without a credit card? That's the time you need it in case of an emergency.
    via SaltBeefin
  • Your friend is a grade A ah le but take some culpability here for your own inaction. There was nothing accomplished by you holding her accountable that moment that you couldn't have done in the past. In fact all it did was put you in a vulnerable position. It was
    via SaltBeefin
  • your decision to go with her and go credit card less despite knowing that she's prone to attacking you for Ryan. It was her decision to stand you alone and she's a person for that. Also to watch her treat women that way for years? Still deciding you want to
    via SaltBeefin
  • bffs with her and then tolerating that. Teenagers I can understand lapses in judgement but you are more than well into adulthood. There was a better time and place for you to finally stand up for yourself. You needed more self respect at some point in the last 2 decades. I
    via SaltBeefin
  • also wouldn't have kept such a volatile jealous person in my corner that closely. She told you who she was and you let yourself be a doormat. Objectively all her actions are bad and damaging and
    via SaltBeefin
  • you have done nothing wrong to others, but there was no agency or common sense used when you decided to keep this person as your close friend.
    via SaltBeefin
  • Great_Bookkeep... NTA. But don't hold your breath waiting for the money. I think you're right about how she feels, and Ryan's wedding must've pushed her over the edge. I'm betting she was looking for an excuse to blow up and leave. However, she's not your friend. I wouldn't put any effort into trying to salvage this relationship.
    via Great_Bookkeep
  • Hazy_Hippo You're never going to see that money. But she needed to hear it and now you know not to be friends with her anymore. I'd leave it at that. She will try to contact you and make you the bad guy, seriously just ignore her.
    via Hazy_Hippo
  • gruntbuggly $800 is a pretty reasonable price to get rid of someone that mean and unpleasant to be around.
    via gruntbuggly
  • FacetiousTomato YTA if you think youre seeing a single penny. I don't think this conflict is about what you think it is about.
    via FacetiousTomato
  • You're never, ever, even in your fantasy universe, seeing any of that money. And honestly, I don't understand from your story why you think you're entitled to it. What you said was correct, but when you blow up your friendship in public, you shouldn't expect that friend to reimburse you, lol.
    via FacetiousTomato

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