-
Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
Close-up of house keys with calculator and money represents real estate costs, rent pricing, and property investment decisions.
-
Landlord wanted a quiet tenant, just not one who actually lives there
"I recently moved for work and found a decent apartment listing. Rent was fair, location was perfect, and the landlord seemed normal at first.
We schedule a viewing, everything looks good. I tell him I’m interested.
Then he starts explaining his conditions.
He says he prefers someone “low impact.”
I’m like… okay? I work most of the day anyway.
Then he clarifies:
No cooking with “strong smells” (he specifically listed onions, garlic, and fried food… so basically cooking).
Showers should be “kept under 5 minutes” to manage water usage.
No guests. At all. Not even just one friend dropping by."
-
What started as a promising apartment quickly took a turn as the landlord’s definition of “low impact” became increasingly restrictive. Basic daily activities were suddenly off-limits, turning normal living into a list of limitations. It became clear this wasn’t just about quiet tenants, but about controlling how the space was actually used.
-
"Laundry only once every two weeks.
No working from home because it uses too much electricity.
Lights should be off by 10pm unless absolutely necessary.
At this point I’m thinking he just wants an empty apartment that pays him rent.
But it gets better.
He says:
I’m willing to be flexible on rent if you’re not around much. Ideally someone who travels a lot.
So I ask, half-joking, “So you basically want someone who pays rent but doesn’t live here?
He looks me d*ad in the eye and says:
“Exactly. That’s the perfect tenant.”
-GuryPetals
-
As the rules kept stacking up, the situation crossed from strict to outright absurd. What was framed as efficiency and low impact living started to sound more like a request for total absence. By the time the landlord confirmed it, the reality was clear, this wasn’t about renting a home, but paying for a place you were never meant to use.
-
"Ah yes, my dream home: a place where I can’t eat, exist, or turn on lights… but can definitely pay.
Told him I'll think aboutnit but never showed up again."
-
Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
Portrait of a middle-aged man suggests a landlord or property owner in a rental housing scenario.
-
Dustmopper
"This guy should own a gym instead
Their perfect customers keep paying but never actually show up, and there are plenty of those"
-
Couldnotbehelped
"When I was looking for an apartment back in college in peak Craigslist and no other options, there was a post from a woman who specifically wanted another female “roommate” who paid her rent but lived at her boyfriend’s house.
Specifically, she wanted help with the rent but the only thing you could do with this apartment was take your parents there a couple times to prove that you weren’t living with your boyfriend. And she wanted something like 600 a month in 2009, too.
No idea why you would keep paying her after that first time but I hope she found what she was looking for."
-
Main-Yogurtcloset-82
"None of those rules are legally enforceable. (Which I'm sure you know). But yeah you dodged a nightmare landlord for sure."
-
changelingcd
"That's more restrictive than college dorm rules. What adult would agree to that nonsense?"
-
princess_kittykat13
"I would be so petty especially on my time of the month. Showers under five minutes? Laundry every two weeks? Watch me leave sinks and hoses on" -
sand_snake
“Five minute showers? It takes me longer than that just to wash and condition my hair.” -
lessadessa
“you may only eat cold white bread”
-
tattedwill3
"I’m the kind of guy to rent it and just live my life normally anyway lol" -
Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
Confused man shrugging represents tenant frustration, uncertainty, and disbelief over unreasonable apartment rental rules. -
julesk
"Maybe text him, “I’m not interested in paying rent for a place where I can’t cook, have guests, and can only bathe and do laundry infrequently. Good luck finding your non existent tenant.”
-
mega512
“If I'm renting a place I am doing what I want.”
-
hasthisonegone
“I worked with somebody who had a landlord like this guys perfect tenant. The guy worked on the rigs, so was away for two weeks solid every month, then would spend most of his time back on shore at his girlfriend’s. Apparently when he was home he was either gaming or taking my workmate out for a beer. Ended once he decided to move in with his girlfriend, but my mate lived there very happily for two years.”
-
Weak_tower385
“Tell that landlord you’re looking for a place you can stay at where there’s no rent, you have a life time lease and you can stay up all night having wild wall to wall parties cooking Indian cuisine.”
-
Alternative-Poem-337
"All other stuff aside, laundry every 2 weeks! How many times is this person re-wearing clothes? Yuck!"
-
frogspa
“They're going to get the tenant they deserve. One who says sure to all the rules, then squats the place.”
-
Sometimes the best deal isn’t a deal at all. When basic living starts to feel like a violation of the rules, walking away becomes the smartest move. A home should be a place you can actually use, not just pay for, and knowing when to say no is its own kind of win.
Like what you see? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.