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via A. C.
Young woman sittinng on a bed.
Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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AITA for wanting to move out of my dads house for my studies because I don't want to be a free babysitter?
I (16f) want to move out of my dad's (50m) and fiancée's (40f) house for my studies next fall. I have been talking to my father and my mom about my wishes for about a year now, as I have known this is a must for me and my privacy. My mother is alright with this as long as we find an apartment in our price range, but my father has lately been objecting to it.
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via Toa Heftiba -
I have repeatedly asked my father why this is as most my family agrees I would be able to handle myself while living alone. One time while we were talking about the matter when things became heated and my brother (1m) started crying.
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It is already becoming clear why Dad is objecting to his daughter's move, and it is correlating with everything said above. Dad has a clear role set for his eldest daughter, and her moving out is messing with his plans…
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As most of the time when me and my father are alone, I pick the baby up and start consoling him. As this happens I tell my father one of the reasons I want to move is because as I'm doing two different studies I won't want to babysit everyday as I then wouldn't have time to do schoolwork. After I said this he got mad and stormed out. AITA?
(I live in a country that if I decide to move on my own at this time the government would pay for housing and food because I am a student doing further studies and specifically studying a career.)
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We all probably know our fair share of parents who use their eldest children as another source of help around the house, especially with their younger children.
We also know our fair share of eldest children who ended up resenting their parents for putting them to work at such a young age, just because the parents didn't want to do it all by themselves.
Which is why we are proud of this daughter who refuses to give in to this cycle. She doesn't want to waste her late teen years babysitting her brother, and she shouldn't. As long as she stands her ground and does not let her dad pressure her into staying in his house, she can set herself free from the role of a babysitter and actually live her life.
She just needs to be brave enough to do that…
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Comments:
Stop picking that baby up when he cries. Look at your dad or his mom until one of them moves. If they don't move just say , “Your baby is crying.” / AuntKim1975
NTA
It strongly sounds like he wants to keep you as free childcare. And you staying there is his main way to pressure you into that.
Something you cannot afford to do, if you want to have an independent future. / zgrssd
Go to the library and get all your homework done before coming home. I had to do that at your age to achieve my academic goals. Living alone has a whole lot of other adult responsibilities that you may find weighs on you in other ways.
Also, drop the rope with your dad. Stop caring for his child. Let the baby cry. Tell him to care for the baby. / rationalomega
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via Vitaly Gariev
Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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