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“Excuse you, your honor, this kitten cannot be the potato thief you're looking for. Despite this photo evidence submitted by the prosecutors, depicting the kitten with the stolen potatoes mere minutes before its disappearance, we think it provides evidence for the opposite conclusion. Look at his head - it's less than the size of the actual potato. How could an itty bitty creature steal the potato when they can't even lift their own head correctly yet? And look at the kitten's face - does this look like a guilty face to you? No. This kitten is innocent of all crimes.”
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