Daughter and unemployed son-in-law ask to move into mother's two-bedroom rental with their baby and 5 unvaccinated pets, leaving her worried the situation will become unmanageable: ‘My husband and I both have health issues’

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• WIBTA to not allow my daughter and son-in-law to bring their pets to move in with me?

  Hello, my (63f) daughter (31f) and her husband (34m) are in need of a place to stay, and looking to temporarily move into my husband's and my home while my son in law looks for a new job. He was laid off a few months ago, and they are struggling financially and looking to move in with us until they can afford a new apartment.

   

  The only issue is that they have 4 cats (all of these are wild/feral cats they found and "rescued". They have not been given their shots or other treatments from a vet) and 1 senior dog who is incontinent, can barely walk, eat, see, hear, etc. and they strongly do not want to put him down despite his extremely poor quality of life.

  
   

• They love the animals very dearly, and I would feel awful to tell them the animals cannot come along, but due to the lack of shots and issues with constantly urinating/defecating in their apartment, I really do not want that in my house. It is a rental unit with carpet in the bedrooms (where I'm assuming their dog would mostly stay) so I do not see how they would keep the carpet from being destroyed. 

   

  They say that the reason they have not taken the cats to be fixed or get shots is because they cannot afford it, so if I ask them to do that for all the cats, that cost will likely fall to me and my husband.

  In addition to their animals, they have a 6 month old daughter. I love my granddaughter and would love to have her in the house, but for a two-bedroom, 1-bathroom house, this is a lot of people! It would be manageable with just the three of them, but with 5 animals on top of that, I worry I will be really overwhelmed. 

   

  My husband and I both have health issues, and I'm not sure how much we would be able to contribute to taking care of the animals and my granddaughter. WIBTA if I asked them to rehome at least some of their animals if not all of them before moving in?

• While the mother wants to help her daughter’s family during a difficult financial situation, the combination of limited space, ongoing health issues, a newborn baby, and five high-maintenance pets has left her questioning whether the arrangement would realistically be manageable for anyone involved.

• Most commenters sympathized with the mother’s concerns, especially given the size of the home and the condition of the pets. Many pointed out that bringing several unvaccinated animals and an incontinent senior dog into a small rental property with a baby and two older adults sounded overwhelming long before anyone even unpacked their bags.

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• pekoe-g

  For real. "We cannot afford any of the things for one cat... let's get 3 more, plus a dog". That's so irresponsible.

  I understand when an unexpected emergency hits that not everyone can afford $2-5k at the drop of a hat. But not even doing the bare minimum of vaccines & neuter/spay?!

  For example, I know in my city (and surrounding area) there are several options including SPCA & humane society that offer low cost Veterinary Clinics that can be subsidized further for people on income assistance, no job etc. It's just a matter of putting effort to search around and wake up early to sna*ch an appointment.

• ElectricalFocus560

  The cats need to be surrendered to a shelter. They will fix them get them shots determined if they can be placed and work to do that.

  Your daughter and SIL are not financially in a place to have pets. Therefore they need to do the right thing by the pets. You absolutely can forbid them to bring animals into your home.

  I would see if you can scrape up enough money to take the dog to the vet to evaluate whether he needs to be allowed to go. It sounds like the quality of his life is bad. He can’t come live with you. No one else will want him and these people need to be responsible pet owners. You don’t keep a dog alive because you are not in a place to humanely let him go.

  Allowing them to live with you is a tremendous gift and they need to appreciate that you don’t then turn around and make demands. Good luck.

• ShutDownSoul

  NTA. This falls into the "don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm" category. They have made bad decisions to not be responsible with the dog and cats (and sounds like they couldn't afford a child either). It is wonderful that you are willing to share 1 bathroom with 2 other adults, but your house, your rules.

• VariegatedPlumage

  NTA. If they can’t afford to give their cats proper medical treatment, they can’t afford to be responsible pet owners and should not be keeping cats in the first place. Someone else mentioned surrendering them to a shelter and that sounds like the right move to me.

  I never want to say someone should give up their pets, but having pets and not getting them vaccinated is absolutely AH behavior— to the pets. AND having unvaccinated cats around a baby is AH behavior toward the baby. I’m a bit appalled that anyone with an infant would do that.

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• Savings-Breath-9118

  I would not let anyone stay in my home with four unvaccinated cats. I am older, so I’m very health-conscious about the diseases cats can bring in if they don’t have shots. Plus that’s a lot of bodies in a small place. It’s sad they’ve been laid off and it’s sad. They have problems, but maybe they need to give their cats up to a rescue.

• ProfesionalKey4143

  Look at this another way, this baby is going to be starting to crawl soon, so are they happy for this poor innocent baby to be crawling around in dog faeces and puddles of urine and to be scratched by cats. I would be demanding they get rid of the dog for the dogs quality of life. I wouldn’t want that for my dog that’s cruel and there are places out there that were neuter cats for free for people on low income so there is no excuse for their laziness your home your rules you don’t want that in your house, don’t have it simple as.

• After receiving feedback, the mother added that she and her husband are currently reviewing their lease agreement to see whether the pets would even be allowed in the rental at all, while also speeding up their search for a larger home that could potentially accommodate everyone more comfortably.

• Editing to add: Many people have brought up our current home being a rental. It is and we are going to look over our lease to see what it says about pets and visitors. We are currently looking for a bigger place that can fit everyone (we were looking before they asked to move in with us, but that has expedited the search), but as we are currently renting I'm not even sure if they could bring the pets here at all. Thank you all for bringing this point up.

  Itchy_Ebb_1402

   

   

  
   

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