Boyfriend gets angry at girlfriend for spending the holidays with her family instead of his family: 'Why is your family more important than hers?'

She'll visit his family once they're engaged or married. For now, they can handle the holidays apart.

Many couples struggle to decide where to spend the holidays. They naturally want to make both sets of in-laws happy, so that might mean visiting one partner's family on Christmas Eve in Cincinnati, and driving all night to see the other partner's family in Cleveland on Christmas. Such an arrangement is unsustainable in the long term, so many couples opt to alternate which set of in-laws they see each holiday. They might spend Thanksgiving with his family and Christmas with hers, alternating each year. That sounds like a pretty reasonable split to me!

It's trickier to figure out exactly when you start spending the holidays with your partner rather than just your family. If you've been together for less than a year, it might be a little too soon for you to invite your boyfriend to Christmas. If he doesn't have anywhere else to go, that's one thing, but if his mom wants him to come home for Christmas, it won't permanently damage your relationship if you're apart for five days.

Living in a different city from your parents is tough because you don't get to see them very often. Sometimes Thanksgiving and Christmas are the only times you get to go home to see them, and those holidays don't last very long. If you're in your 20s and living away from your parents, it's almost always better to take a longer trip home whenever you can, so you can spend meaningful time with them. After all, they aren't going to be around forever.

The boyfriend in this story thought that his girlfriend would spend Christmas with him and his family. He feels they've reached the point in their relationship where this is standard, but he didn't think to ask his girlfriend whether that was what she wanted. Now, he's mad that she spent Christmas with her family instead of his.
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Am I the bad guy for being upset that my girlfriend chose to spend Christmas with her family instead of mine?

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